Facts are a crutch for people who do not carry around shotguns.
Anyway, I don’t care how much money the Wiz is alleged to to have lost. That’s just Hollywood accounting anyway. It’s the greatest movie ever made, and that includes both Citizen Kane and Lord of the Rings. My shotgun is my cite.
This refers to the study I read:
http://www.schemamag.ca/archive2/2011/06/asian_men_unpopular_in_interne.php
Which refers back to this:
http://asiancorrespondent.com/56797/no-eharmony-with-asian-men/
Nah, Tilda SWINTON (and Sam Jackson) was the first casting to pop into my mind. Plus, I’m envisioning a darker Scarecrow.
I was thinking this might be her Swan Song … Okay, I got nothing. Also, shut up. 
I was actually thinking Keanu as the Scarecrow.
I was also toying with the idea of Tracy Morgan as the Cowardly Lion, but that just proves I shouldn’t be put in charge of a project like this.
For the Wizard, I thought of Danny DeVito. Or maybe Christopher Walken.
Merci.
You can tell how old some dopers are by the actors they cast.
Saoirse Ronan as Dorothy.
Crispin Glover as the Scarecrow.
Nathan Lane as the Cowardly Lion.
Steve Coogan as the Tin Woodsman.
Gary Oldman as the Wizard.
Kirsten Dunst as Glinda.
January Jones as Dorothy.
Jason Biggs as the Scarecrow.
Seth Rogan as the Cowardly Lion.
Dane Cook as the Tin Woodsman.
Eugene Levy as the Wizard.
Jenna Jameson as Glinda.
Kim Kardashian as The Wicked Witch.
We’ll call it National Lampoon’s The Wizard of Oh, Fuck You, Viewing Public
It’s been done already.
And, in her acting debut, Ann Coulter as the horse of a different color.
Okay, I’m done. While you folks were treating this like some sort of joke, or a thought experiment, I was rewriting and casting my own version. Shooting’s done and in a couple of seconds…aha! There! All the editing’s done.
And… give me a sec while I screen the completed film… ah, beautiful… great music, too. Haha, very witty… nice bit with the horse, there.
And…
Nope. Just destroyed the final print. The Judy Garland version was much better.
This is my vote, as well. And there needs to be a scene where the scarecrow does blow off of Dorothy’s ass, before he rapes and murders Toto.
…so, would it be acceptable to use parts of the instrumental score to Return to Oz?
On that thought, I think Fairuza Balk would probably be a great choice for the Wicked Witch of the West. Her, orMeg Foster. Though if I were casting the movie, I’d at least have to give my aunt a crack at the role—she’s always loved that part, even played it on stage a couple of times, and can get the voice down pat.
Back to the cast, I’m thinking John Lahr as the Lion, and Spencer Bell as the Wizard. He was in the 1925 version of The Wizard of Oz…credited as “G. Howe Black.” Playing “Snowball.” :eek: Yeah. Despite the utter horror of that, I rather liked him as a performer, so we’ll bring him back through CGI…or just bring him out of hiding. Seeing this scene, I have a hard time believing that death could actually claim him.
You really should have asked for some of the $100 million before destroying the print.
Darn, I knew I’d forgotten something (in my rush to shoot a feature film in ten minutes).
Hmmmm…you have a right to not like him, but you cannot deny Lord Lloyd-Webber’s success.
Um…what’s your point? 
But…
“Not everyone in New York/
would pay to see Andrew Lloyd-Webber…”
– Neil Finn (Crowded House: “Chocolate Cake”)
(Great lyrics from a Kiwi: “And the excess of fat on your American bones / will cushion the impact as you sink like a stone.”)
I’m going with the Edgar Wright version.
Going to need some work with the casting, but of course it will have to start with Simon Pegg as the Scarecrow and Nick Frost as the Cowardly Lion. Bill Nighy is the Wizard, of course. I’d love to see what Cate Blanchette would do with the Wicked Witch, and Olivia Colman as Glinda.
Hayao Miyazaki should direct it for Ghibli, it’s the only way a modern version could actually work, and avoid the obvious comparisons to the original.
Burton and Tarantino are probably the only directors capable of doing a live-action version from a purely visual perspective, unless Coppola can get back to what he did in Dracula. None of them would do the source justice though.
The problem is, to do it justice, you need fantastic special effects and brilliant acting, along with a director who can put the story first. The only director to manage all three recently is Christopher Nolan, and I can’t see The Dark Oz Rises working too well.
