Since Hollywood seems to have decided to re-make any and all movies/TV shows/musicals/etc. that ever have surfaced on this planet, I got around to thinking which remakes one REALLY doesn’t need to see.
One that would drive me wild, for instance, would be Pink Floyd: The Wall , with Shakira’s interpretation of the music and (who else?) Pink as Pink.
Any other bright ideas you WOULDN’T want to see realized?
F-Troop. I can’t conceive of how this could be remade in today’s society.
“Blue Velvet.”
With Smurfs.
Brazil, starring Carrot Top and, I don’t know… Rosie O’Donnell.
“Hogan’s Heroes”. Hell, I don’t know how it got approved the *first * time.
Hey, I’d pay five dollars to see that!
Oh come on. I can see this. In fact, I’ll bet it’s in production.
Troops:
Capt Parmentar: Will Ferrell
Sgt O’Rourke: Benicio Del Toro
Cpl Agarn: Steve Carrell
Pvt Dobbs: Chris Rock
Others:
Chief ???:An Indian who can do comedy
(Edward Everett Horton): Another Indian who can do comedy
Jane: Renee Zellwegger
Bad Guys:
Gen. Ulysses Parmentar: Ed Asner (temporarily)
Col. Arnaud-Amaury: Alan Rickman
Dewey C. Undhow of the Great Western Railroad Co.: William H Macy
It writes itself
Apropos of nothing at all, and particularly not this thread, the image of Good Night, And Good Luck starring Stephen Colbert as Edward Murrow, just came unbidden to my mind . . .
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest with Jim Carey and Rosie O’Donnell
Hearing the Nurse Ratchet speech delivered from Jim Carrey’s butt would make it a new classic.
The African Queen, starring RuPaul.
Any Bond movie : “Arnold Schwarzenegger IS James Bond !”
Just imagining this has cracked me up completely - I can barely breath! I’m just picturing Carey doing his take of insane and seeing it as a combination of something from Dumb and Dumber and Liar Liar. 
Even worse: Brad Pitt IS James Bond. Gentlemen, come for the death, explosions and fast car chases. Ladies, come for the nude scene. (or should that be cum for the nude scene…)
A Casablanca remake with some cheesy 70’s TV actor like David Soul.
Rosie O’Donnell in Deep Throat.
Smurfing A!!
The Wicker Man, starring, oh I don’t know, Nicholas Cage. Maybe directed by Neil LaBute. Now THAT would suck.
Would a remake with a 90s star do ?