Remember Bored Of The Rings?

Long ago, when I first read the LOTR trilogy, there was a brilliant parody called Bored of the Rings . It was connected somehow to the Harvard Lampoon. It started with the feast at Dildo Bugger’s house. The depiction of Hobbits showed them as gluttonous dimwits, for comic effect. Strider was Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt, Legolas was Legolamb, there were the Riders of Roi-tan, stuff like that. Despite the re-resurrection of the LOTR books, I haven’t seen a re-issue of BOTR, dang it!

If you liked that, you should also read Doon, by Ellis Weiner.

“This ring and no other was made by the elves
Who’d pawn their own mother to grab it themselves

If broken or busted it can’t be remade
If found, send to Sorehed, postage pre-paid”

From the inscription on the ring.
Or so said Goodgulf the Rosicrucian wizard, anyway.

Don’t forget Gimlet, son of Groin.

“Five seven’s your height and one eighty’s your weight
You’ll cash in your chips about page 88.”

There was a new edition about five years ago (I have it somewhere), but I suspect it didn’t sell: the market for humorous fantasy is distressingly small. Other than Terry Pratchett, you can’t find any, and I’d guess no one is bothering to bring it back for that reason.

Amazon sells it.

The book is by Henry Beard and Doug Kenney, but was bylined as by the Harvard Lampoon. Beard and Kenney were the mainstays behind the growing national reputation of the Harvard Lampoon in the mid-60’s, with their parodies of Life and Time magazines. The Life parody was a financial failure, but the Time parody sold well and Bored of the Rings was a bit hit among the college crowd (even though Beard later described it as “a terrible piece of shit”). It’s sold over a million copies in its life, so I suspect that all the editions have sold really well. Its current sales rank on Amazon is an amazing 423!

Beard and Kenney had worked with Matty Simmons to distribute the magazine parodies and when they were out of Harvard worked with him again to found the National Lampoon. Beard continued to write brilliant parodies for the Lampoon - yes, this was long enough ago so that you could parody literature and college-aged kids would get the joke - and I rate him as one of the best parodists of the 20th century. It’s doubly sad that his later books are almost all cheap, slapped together ephemeral humor books. They probably made money but it’s a waste of a great talent.

Heh. In Doon, Paul becomes the Kumquat Haagenz-Das. :smiley:

I liked Bored of th Rings but I find I can only stand it in small doses.

The cover art for BOTR has also changed over the years, much like LOTR itself. The original cover was twisty psychedelia with pigs. The edition now being sold has a more conventional illustration. Damn it!

For those interested, here’s the original cover.

We boggies are a hairy folk,
We like to eat until we choke.
Loving all like friend and brother,
And hardly ever eat each other.

Regards,
Shodan

Anything edible we’ve got dibs on
hope we’ll all die with our bibs on
ever gay we’ll never grow up
Come! And Sing! And Play! And throw up!

Hmmm, it’s been a coupla decades since I’ve read BoTR.

Dildo & Frito Bugger
Moxie & Popsie
Goodgulf
Gimlet
Legolam
Arrowroot
…?

I remember the map had the countries TwoDor and FourDor on it.

Eowyn was an amazonian Valkyrie, complete with helm & weight problem, smittin with scrawny Arrowroot, much to his dismay.

Ahem
That’s Pepsi and Moxie, the Dingleberry twins.
Also that was Eorache, the sheep rider, not Eowyn.
Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt, was also known as Stomper
Don’t forget the Hobbit Clotty Peristalt
Nor Evil Wizard Serutan at Eisentower
Orlon and his Wife the Lady Lycra
Lord Cellophane
The brothers Bromosel and Farahslax
The Ballhog in Andrea Doria
Lots of Narcs
Fellow rangers Handlebar and Hersheybar
Elf lord Garfinkel
Sorehed’s ex-wife, Schlob
the nine Nozdrul
The mighty v-8s

And that was all from memory. I wish I could recall important stuff that well.

O uncool bush! Unloose this passle
Of furry cats that you hassle!
Tho’ by speed my brain’s destroyed
I’m not half this paranoid!
So cease this bummer, down this freak-out,
Let caps and joints cause brains to leak-out!
These cats are groovy here among us,
So leave em be, you uptight fungus!


Tim! Tim! Benzedrine!
Hash! Boo! Valvoline!
Clean! Clean! Clean for Gene!
First, second, neutral, park,
Hie thee hence, you leafy narc!

Also from memory. Now if only I could keep my children’s names straight . . .

I have a confession to make. At work, it is the book that no-one wants to take home and read!
I tried, truly I did but the terrible awful truth was…
I got bored reading it!

I wonder if different countries have different senses of humour?
I think they do, myself. (Heck, we even spell it differently!)

And yet. and yet… every so often, I flick open a page and read it for just a little bit. :slight_smile:
Maybe it is best in tiny doses!

Hot puppies! Grub!

Which book do you refer to, Lord of the Rings, or Bored of the Rings?

My favorite is when a narc brandishes a huge faggot

“You dieth, GI” screamed the faggot.

Had me rolling!

Bored of the Rings.

(Although, yes, I am also one who found LotR a little tricky on the first go, too. :slight_smile: Easier on the second.)

“Hairy toes, I love hairy toes!”

“They melt in your brain, not in your hands!”

“Argle bargle morble whoosh.”

“O Dragonbreth! Gilthorpial!”

“A esso sysanon decca hi hawaya.” “O movado silvathin nytol nicetaseeya.”

“Fear not, I have come to make peas with you!”

Dribble. Dribble. Dribble. Fake. Dribble. Shoot.
…and on its chest were the dreaded runes, Villanova.
“Aieee! A Ballhog!”