I actually was introduced to Lord of the Rings via Bored…
Funny book!
There is a reissue out there. I almost bought it yesterday, but decided against it.
“This is indeed a queer river,” said Bromosel, as the water lapped at his thighs.
Frito looked back in time to see the Lady Lavalier gracefully sticking her finger down her throat in the ancient elvish farewell.
…
(me talking now:) So many passages pop unbidden into my mind when watching the movie (or reading the real book)…Timmy
By the by, there was a good thread on casting the movie version of BotR a few months back, if anyone feels like searching for it.
…and after that the boggies were offered round candies with little letters cleverly printed on them. (“They melt in yoor brain, not in your hans,” giggled Tim.)
…
“Argle-bargle morble whoosh?” said Frito.
G: Ok frodo take the ring out of the fire, now hold it up and look close. Do you see anything?
F: Yes, there are firery letters inside and out. But I cant read them.
G: I can, the letters are elvish but language is that of Mordor.
It Says " Keep Away From Open Flame"
Let us recall the 3 ethnic divisions of Boggies: Clubfoots, Stools, and Naugahydes.
“That was a close call! Came nigh to a-spoilin me pantaloons!”
In LOTR, JRRT makes a big deal about the histories of particular weapons, e.g. Narsil, Glamdring, etc. So in BOTR, Goodgulf’s weapon is described:
“In his hand he carried an ancient and trusty weapon, called by the elves a Browning semi-automatic.”
I wish this thread hadn’t come up. Now I’ll be forced to reread the thing (again). :smack:
Goodgulf: “THE KNOB!” :smack:
Horrible book. Reads like it was written by college kids who think they’re sooooo hilarious, but are in fact just riding on the coattails of people who are genuinely funny. Has a desperate ‘lets force another parody name in here somewhere’ atmosphere.
It’s like they were Monty Python fans and thought the key to great humour was putting rude or weird words in the middle of sentences.
<waving her 1969 paperback Signet copy, with psychedelic cover, at the computer>
Only problem with this wonderful book was that I read it within a few months of having slogged through the Hobbit and the LOTR trilogy. From then on I have never ever been able to take the original as seriously as it wants to be taken. Oh, I love it and enjoy the movies and all, but I can’t get Frito and Legolam and Stomper out of my mind.
My favorite scene among so many, after the Introduction concerning Boggies (they went west in steerage…then elbowed their way into all the country clubs, dropping their old language and customs like a live grenade) is the fight in the tavern at Bree-I mean Whee. The Nozdruls have disguised themselves as lovely waitresses–huge, hairy, cigar-smoking, red-eyed, blond-wigged waitresses–which totally fool the boggies, until finally the nine surround Frito and start rifling his pockets for the Ring, when:
"…From below the table rose a sharp, barbed blade. Stomper leaped up.
“Oh Dragonbreth! Gilthorpial!”, he yodeled, waving his cleaver around like a madman. He lunged at the nearest wraith with his unwieldy sword. “Banzai!”, he screamed. “No quarter asked or given! Damn the torpedoes!” Taking a vicious swipe, Stomper missed his mark by a good yard and tripped on his scabbard.
The nine stared at the frothing, writhing maniac with round, red eyes. The sight of Stomper filled them with awe. They stood speechless. Suddenly one of the stunned creatures began to titter, then chuckle. Another guffawed. Two more joined in, chortling loudly, and finally all nine were in the throes of hysterical, side-aching laughter. Stomper, puffing and enraged, stood up and tripped on his cape, spilling his silver bullets all over the floor. The whole dining room roared with unbelieving hilarity. Two Nozdrul collapsed to the ground, hopelessly giggling. Others staggered about, great red tears rolling down their scaly cheeks, gasping for air and incapable of holding their maces. Haw haw haw! Stomper got to his feet, his face beet-red with anger. He lifted his sword, and the blade fell off the handle. Haw haw haw haw haw! The Nozdrul rolled and writhed on the ground, clutching their ribs. Stomper replaced the blade, took a mighty wind-up, and firmly embedded the point in the cement pig. HAW HAW HAW! [enough of these to make Jack Chick happy]
At this point, seeing that nobody was paying any attention to him, Frito calmly picked up a mace and proceeded to bash some heads in. Moxie, Spam, and Pepsi followed his example and went among the gibbering wraiths administering random kicks to groins and breadbaskets."
Great, great stuff. I’m just worried that a few of the jokes will fade over time: Tom the hippie, “clean for Gene”, Bromosel=Bromo seltzer, etc.
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First off the map
The tiny X shapped forrest, the Mulsanne straight, and who could forget the land of the knee walking turkeys.
The foreword
**
And Concerning Boggies**
**
How do you think I know?
“Just wait 'til the rush hits yoo.” Tim Benzedrine
What was his girlfriend’s name–the one who was mistaken for a pile of dirty clothes in the corner?
“Maim!” roared the monster. “Mangle, mutilate, crush. See HARM.”
You have to know how old Thesauruses were formatted to fully appreciate.
And in my bridge playing days, I used to intone prayers to Oxydol. No one understood, mostly because they were all over 55 and didn’t understand about the goddess of Quick Tricks and Small Slams.
How I love thee, Hashberry, from nose to sleazy love-beads!
O slender as a speeding freak! Spaced-out groovy tripper!
I read BotR when I was a kid, but I never finished LotR.