Remember That Russian Cult That Sealed Themselves in a Cave?

[Tuckerfan]

They’ve had to come out.

The leader of a doomsday cult in Russia tried to kill himself by hitting his head with a log because his apocalyptic vision had not come true, officials said.

Pyotr Kuznetsov, who had been hospitalized after being diagnosed with schizophrenia, was allowed out to try to persuade his followers to come out of caves where they had been awaiting the end of the world. He was sent back to hospital, The Times of London reports.

“It was an attempted suicide. Pyotr put his head on a tree stump and started hitting his head with a log. He is in hospital with a head wound,” said Oleg Melnichenko, deputy governor of the Penza region.

Oh, and they think that barcodes are satanic.

[Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical]

My butt smells funny.

[Cisco]

@Tuckerfan

Oh, and they think that barcodes are satanic.

This is actually pretty common. When I was growing up in the bible belt it was pretty much a settled issue that the mark of the beast was going to be a barcode.

[3waygeek]

The story leaves one major question unanswered: When Kuznetsov came out of the cave, did he see his shadow? If so, six more weeks to the Apocalypse.

[Enter_the_Flagon]

Y’know, it seems to me that what we suffer the most from in the U.S. is a shortage of caves.

[Kythereia]

Nobody’s going to make the ‘In Soviet Russia…’ joke?

(I now have a mental image of the guy smacking himself upside the head with the log like the monks in Monty Python and the Holy Grail…)

[Boyo_Jim]

In Soviet Russia, Apocalypse waits for YOU!

[Kythereia]

I knew I could count on you, Boyo Jim.

[Boyo_Jim]

Somewhere I heard Yakov Smirnov is in Branson, Mo now. Once I get more decrepit and cranky, and Branson becomes appealing rather than repellant, he would be among my first choices to go see.

[Speaker_for_the_Dead]

What came to mind for me was “in Soviet Russia, tree stumps YOU!”