Remember the Emperor of the World? I think I met his wife today.

The BBQ Pit
1

Scene: Department store, Labor Day sale. The line is eight deep, at least. At the registers are me, Jack and Britney. I’m about to start ringing up the next customer, a little old lady buying plastic tumblers, when I hear a shrill voice from behind me. “Miss! Miss, your co-worker needs your help!”

I turn to Britney, to see her aiming the scanner at price tags on towels. Her customers are a woman with a soccer-mom haircut and too much mascara (the one making all the noise) and her mute companion.

Little background here. Sometimes the scanner gun on that register refuses to read the return labels (don’t ask), and they have to be keyed in by hand. Except Britney’s contacts sometimes cloud up on her, and when the two situations coincide, I have to read the numbers to her. Thinking that’s what’s happening, I start reading: “Seven five three…Eight—”

Britney: No, it’s not that. [continues scanning]

Me: Do you want me to fold the towels or something?

Too Much Mascara Woman: No, you need to do this transaction!

Me, to Little Old Lady: I’m sorry; I’ll be with you in one second. [To TMMW] I’m sorry, but I have a customer here—

TMMW: No, you have a customer HERE! We’ve been here for fifteen minutes! This is unacceptable!

Me, to Britney: I’m sorry; what is the problem?

Britney: Nothing; I’m almost done. [tear slides down cheek]

Me, to TMMW: I’m sorry, but I really have to take care of this—

TMMW: You have to take care of THIS transaction! Your co-worker does not know what she’s doing!

Britney: Ma’am, these towels ARE 4.99…

TMMW, to me: Miss, you NEED to do this transaction!

At this point, I really should have said, “Oh, so you’re saying you’re more important than the customer at my register?” But instead, I turn back to Little Old Lady, who says, “That’s okay, dear; I can wait.” (!) I turn back to Britney, she hands me the scanner, I scan the last two damned towels, and Britney tells TMMW the total. I ring up LOL’s plastic tumblers and that’s that. More or less.

Later, I ask Britney what the hell that was all about. She replies that the only reason it took ten (not fifteen) minutes was because TMMW is one of many people who think that the price on the scanner will be further reduced when they get to the register. She contested the prices, made Britney go back to the bargain table to get every single towel in that style, then, in the face of evidence, insisted that Britney must simply be incompetent.

So to sum up:

4.99 wasn’t a good enough price for a bath towel for her; she had to argue about it.

She thought she could drag me away from another customer.

She made Britney cry.

She thought she could order me to stop waiting on someone else.

She didn’t care that another customer was waiting.

She thought she could dictate to me, like I was her personal shopper. And believe me, I go way out of my way for customers. But not at the expense of a totally different customer’s needs. Nobody’s THAT fucking important. Except, of course, the Empress of the World.

Did I mention she made my co-worker cry?

She made a huge scene about fucking bath towels from a bargain bin. Hello? There are people in the Astrodome right now who…Oh, I know, I know, but if what’s happened the past week doesn’t give some people a sense of perspective, then it’s clear that nothing. ever. will.

2

Man… I worked the register at a Bed Bath and Beyond once… I could swear that if I haven’t met this woman, I met her twin sister. It should be legal for people who work retail to smash one person’s head in with a lead pipe per day*.

*This would not be fatal, as their heads are most likely filled with pudding.

3

So her day was complete then, right?
I think everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, should have to work in retail for one full year. That would cover Christmas, back-to-school, inventory and all the holidays and various sales. It would really cut down on this kind of abuse.

4

The customer is not always right; just once in a while, the customer needs to be told to shut the fuck up (by the manager, ideally).

5

I agree in principle. But - how to choose? How to choose?

6

Interestingly, a few minutes later, the manager did smack down another set of customers, for cutting in line. He just happened not to be there when TMMW was showing her ass, unfortunately.

7

Oh, man. I met this woman’s twin sister last night at the Walgreens pharmacy checkout.

Woman about my age walks up to the counter. Me, pleasant: “May I help you?” She gives me her name. Her scrip isn’t ready yet. It’s Labor Day evening, everyone got back from their holiday and realized they were out of meds for Tuesday back-to-work, and came in. We’re busy and backed-up. Realistically it’s going to be another 45 minutes before she can have her meds.

And–suffice it to say that she Made. A. Scene. The major plot elements were:
[ul]
[li] The girl she talked to on the phone (not myself, BTW, but almost certainly the chirpy high school newbie) promised her we could have it ready in 20 minutes.[/li][li] She had driven all the way in from Argenta, and it wasn’t ready.[/li][li] Therefore, we had lied to her (this was a major theme, “The Big Lie”).[/li][/ul]
Along the way, she also loudly informed the waiting room full of people:
[ul]
[li] “I itch! And I need my medication!”[/li][li] “I pay for my prescriptions! Not like these welfare people getting their free prescriptions!” (Our pharmacy does serve a lot of public aid patients, being in “that section of town”, but it also serves the white upper-middle-class Warrensburg/Latham bedroom commuters, a dozen or so of whom were at that moment sitting there patiently waiting. The public aid folks hadn’t gone anywhere for Labor Day and had all come in earlier in the afternoon.)[/li][li] “This is not a section of town I normally come to!” (the reason she hadda come to OUR pharmacy was because we were the only pharmacy in town open on Labor Day evening.)[/li][/ul]

And then, when I checked her out, she went ballistic again about the price. “$25.51? I have Mueller! I pay $20 for the first one, and $10 for the second one!”

So I pointed out that the first one WAS $20, and the second one WAS $5.51. And she merely went, “Oh.”

And on her way out, as a parting shot, she gave us this:
[ul]
[li] “It’s a good thing you people aren’t a cardio unit, because with your slow speed…”[/li][/ul]
And I thought, “And…if we were a cardio unit, we wouldn’t be a Walgreens. If pigs had wings and laid eggs, they’d be chickens. What’s your point?”

I have a wonderful fantasy of obtaining the surveillance video of that from Walgreens Corporate and of playing it at, say, her 25th wedding anniversary party. Everybody sitting around, waiting for the “Highlights of Tom and Karen’s 25 years together” video, and instead there’s Karen making an ass of herself at Walgreens.

Join me in speculating on where exactly she itched.

8

That woman was at the pharmacy this weekend! Four to five deep at two registers! Everyone else was standing patiently in line, when the EotW wife pipes up that HER husband has a heart condition and she should go first! Oh I see, everyone else in line has to pick up non essential meds, that’s why we should step aside…WTF?

9

:eek:

:rolleyes:

:smiley:

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

10

What puzzles me is that other, inconvenienced customers often won’t stand up to the Emperors and Empresses of the World. Personally, encountering EotW is one of the things that make a shopping trip worthwhile; I wish I encountered more. I get to unload, both barrels, when the person can actually hear me (as opposed to my ranting and raving at other drivers). What the cashier is thinking, I can say with impunity.

11

The Emperor of the World

In case you don’t remember him.

12

Whoa, wait. There were bath towels for five bucks a pop? Were they any good? What brand were they? How heavy were they? Were they ugly colors like coral or seafoam?

13

There isn’t enough mooing in this thread, especially after the mention of the Emperor of the World in the title. Moo.

14

MOOooo. Moo.

15

This is not quite true… I was in a fast food place that on the first day of school was rather backed up with people who were bringing in kids after their half day in school. They were very shorthanded. After waiting in line about 20 to 25 minutes the man in front of me was next in line to place his order and apparently saw 2 people at the end of the line he new (turned out they were his cousins) he brought them up to the front of the line to place their orders after his own. Of course, they had just came into the store and had to hem and haw around, delaying everyone that much further. After all four of them placed thier order they stepped away form the counter and an older woman of the same ethnic group further back in the line told him he was quite wrong for doing this and he informed her that he didn’t want them to have to wait and everyone else would do the same thing. She told him no that wasn’t in fact true. I commented " just look at what you are teaching your daughter". The man in question went ballistic and started hollering about how I was talking smack about his daughter and that I didn’t have the right to talk about her. I told him that I wasn’t talking aobut his daughter ad I was talking about him and the lessons whe would learn form him. Which is when he started threatening me. I told him if he continued, I would have the police called. He continued blustering about me and how he would “Smack the fat right off of (me)” for insulting his daughter and these were his cousins who didn’t need to wait in line etc etc. I finally turned around asked for the manager and told him that the man was threatening me. The manager immediately called the police. The man stomped off still uttering threats about me but leaving his so important cousins behind to possibly face the police. I could see my vehicle out the window and made sure none of them came close to it. My hands were shaking so bad I kept missing the little cup to put the ketchup in. They had left by the time the police had shown up, but the cousins had apologised to me before they left. Of course they did say “but what would you do if it was your kinfolk?” I said I appreciated their apolgies and my kinfolk would have waited in line and I would have gone back to join them. The older woman who had spoken to him first was quite upset and informed the police that this man was in the wrong from start to finish.

I want to say that while their are race elements to this incident, I don’t beleive that it is indicative of the behavior of any ethnic group just of assholes. :mad:

16

adhemar, it happens sometimes, just not often enough. I’m often more than willing (heck, I’m waiting for an opportunity) to lead the charge.

17

D_Odds, I keep my mouth shut because adhemar’s situation could pretty easily end up with a knife in the gut, and teaching someone a lesson just ain’t worth it these days.

18

Cheesesteak, I’ve got a son 2 years from college and a step-daughter 5 years. Collecting on my life insurance premiums to pay for it looks better every day.

19

UrbanChic, we do have some Ralph Lauren towels on the bargain table, but they’re 8.99. As for the 4.99s, they were a generic brand, but good quality. Mostly earth tones, which I don’t care for, but many people do. The contested towels, to be specific, had a pink-and-white swooshy pattern, with a lace border at one end. Very cute, but I bet they won’t stand up to much washing.

And having re-read the Emperor thread, that’s another situation that causes strife at my job: people insisting that they’re in a line that is not a line. See, our cashwrap station is a hairpin, with two registers on the side of the hairpin that faces the selling floor (and the mall entrance) and one on the side that faces a small display area (and the escalators).

Customers are supposed to wait to be called to that far register, but every so often, we get people who attach themselves like a barnacle to what they think is a line; you finish ringing up the customers who were in the real line, and you’re face to face with new people you didn’t call over. Now, sometimes this is a matter of people who just walked up, but other times, it’s people who were in the long line and left it, due to whatever reasoning.

This can get awkward, because the exchange, “I’m sorry; the line forms that way.” “But I’m already here!” “Yeah, but you’re supposed to wait for the next cashier.” “Well, can’t you ring me up?” and so forth without making any of the statements which are true, but almost guaranteed to set them off. Such as:

“You weren’t next.”

“It wasn’t your turn.”

“You’re gonna have to get in line again.”

and so forth. Especially when, with your back to the line, you have no way of knowing if this person really was next, and just hasty, or if they left the back of the line, or just walked up. It always takes time to hash this out, and it’s often tempting to just ring them up and be done with it. But I no longer give in, not since the time I caved, and next thing I knew I had a five-person line of people who took this to mean that there were two lines. :smack:

There were two particularly unpleasant incidents stemming from this. In one case, because the two women wouldn’t stop bleating (why do these problem customers always come in pairs?), I had to say in an icy tone, “No, the line is back there. There is not a line at this register. One party being rung up does not constitute a line.” And then they didn’t know what that last sentence meant!

In the other, the people (again with the plural!) demanded to see a manager because they claimed “Peter”, another co-worker, was being racist. Because the woman who was officially next in line was of his own ethnic group, while the people who had planted themselves on the non-line side were not, and they thought his calling over the next in line was an attempt to snub them because they were not “one of his own.” :rolleyes: People just hate to be told they’re wrong.

20

I uh, have to say, when you said “just look at what you are teaching your daughter” you were probably crossing the line:

  • From safe statements to issuing fighting words
  • From legal behavior into illegal behavior (at least in a few states)
  • From being disrespected by an impolite individual to behaving in a rude fashion

Expressing your opinion that someone is breaking line is one thing. Accusing them of poor parenting without being related to them, a health care professional or employed by certain branches of government is another.

That being said, I’ve done worse, but that doesn’t mean I think the worse I’ve done was wise or justified.