First let me just say I love thinking someone is gonna rush in here to say “Read a book! Go outside! Actually talk to real people!!!” because actually literally none of those are options here.
I work, but most nights i’m the one who gets to put our daughter (14 months) to bed at night. That means chilling with her in a dark room, usually in the rocking chair, till she goes to sleep enough that I can put her in the crib and she’ll just stay asleep.
The challenge comes that oftentimes I’ll get up too soon, in which case the whole process starts over again.
So in addition to singing to her nursery rhymes or whatever, I also just need ways to amuse myself for a little while. But since I am holding her and trying to keep the room dark, anything like a prop is basically out of the conversation… And so is anything electronic.
I guess this is just a lot of preamble to ask what you do when you are stuck somewhere and just need to amuse/engage yourself. What has worked so far for me is things like go through the names of books or states and try to start the next word with the last letter of the previous word.
I have tried games like name all the US presidents in order or name all the James Bond movies, but of course without any back up or device I am basically just scoring myself.
So, you have a 10 to 15 minute wait, you can’t really use your hands or have any external light. What do you do with yourself?
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I suck at math, so something like counting backwards from 100 by sevens would be a good brain teaser for me. Except I’d go “100. … 93 ok got that … Uhhhhh…”
Something I do to quiet my mind if I can’t sleep is visualize doing some mundane task, but REALLY break it down. So for example “chopping an onion” involves putting my hand on the fridge door, opening the fridge, checking for a half-used onion first, closing the door, opening the pantry for a fresh one, placing my hand on a knife handle, sliding the knife out of the bloc. Etc etc.
Write a story in your head. If you aren’t good at coming up with characters on your own, write some fan fiction. Think about a T.V. show or movie you like, and then tell the story of the characters the way you would like it to go: Was that mystery solved incorrectly? Was there a better way to get those bad guys? Should that couple have gotten together ages ago?
Maybe you can come up with a story that you can tell your daughter – now or in the future. What do you imagine for her life? What does she imagine? Will she be slaying Martian dragons? Fall down a rabbit hole? Be cloned? Have a pet dinosaur? Something a lot more interesting than I can think of at the moment?
I make plans, go over training exercises and decide on what to work on in future, and sometimes work on the novel I’ve been writing in my head for years.
The thing with the math actually works too well… I will, when I have trouble going to sleep myself, start at 400 and count back in threes for example. I have heard that recommended before as a pretty good way to focus and clear your head…
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I have to seconds this, getting our two to settle themselves off to sleep was the best thing we ever did. They’d bawl for little bit for a couple fo nights but soon got the hang of it. Worth a try I’d say.
I have 3 kids and bedtime became ridiculous for me and my wife to get them all in bed and get them to sleep. Not any more.
IMHO, training your kids to go to sleep with you, in the dark and in silence is a mistake. They need to learn how to fall asleep alone with a little light and some background noise and stay asleep if something disrupts them.
Put on some ambient music and a maybe night light to start. Believe me, you’ll thank me for your sanity later, there’s nothing worse than a child that can’t sleep when it’s light out and wakes up screaming at the drop of a pin.
I remember and miss those days with my own. It may be cliche but I recommend slowing down your mind and live in the moment of having quiet time with your daughter.
However, in general if I’m bored I like to daydream that I’m a wizard. That works for me.
I’ve been trying this the past week and it’s gone pretty well. I loaded an audiobook (Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein) and listen to it with earbuds while we sit. It take a little finesse (turn glow on phone screen way down, have her not get suddenly interested in earphone cord, etc) but so far so good
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