Alarm’s set to go off at 6:30 to head to the office, but you wake up at 3:15 am. Cat outside makes a noise, partner shuffles in the bed, or just usual tossing and turning, whatever. Temporary thing has passed, can go back to sleep now.
Sometimes — whether it’s adrenaline, or getting “trying to force myself to relax”, or suddenly dwelling on that tax bill, it’s hard to zonk out again.
I used to listen to late night AM talk radio, and that would usually give me something menial to concentrate on and eventually drift off… but now being not alone that’s really not an option.
Heard a good one on TV… do something like count backwards by 4 from 300 (300, 296, 292…) gives you something you focus on that’s repetitive but still takes your focus.
Someone once told me to focus all thoughts and energy on relaxing certain parts of your body sequentially… just my right toes are relaxing now… no tension in right toes… right foot relaxing, etc… a progressive sorta self-hypnosis.
TheMrs. says sometimes she focuses just on deep breaths, almost like mimicking a sleeping breather pattern.
I generally have no problem getting back to sleep in the middle of the night. I’m lucky I guess. When I do, I repeat “sleep, sleep, sleep” for about 2 minutes.
put the radio on your side of the bed. have volume high enough for you to just hear words. if radio has headphone jack you could use a pillow speaker or ear buds.
I always fall asleep on my left side, so I developed a routine where I first lie on my right side until I get sleepy, and then I roll over onto my left side, where I immediately fall asleep. I’ve done this for so long, that I think now it’s so ingrained that rolling from my right to my left signals my brain/body that it’s time. It almost always works, unless, like last night, I have too much caffeine at night, and then I turn over, turn back over, turn over again, ad infinitum until oh say 4 am. Grr. Anyway, my point is, develop a little routine that you do in bed that will signal your brain and body to go to sleep now.
I pick a random novel, decide on an event to change, and imagine how the stories changes from there. That usually allows me to go back to sleep after a few minutes.
If I am tossing and turning and can’t quite get “over the edge,” I will lay there and force myself fully, 100%, I am getting up now awake and hold that for a few minutes. Many times the drop from that level will put me to sleep where just drifting along almost-there won’t.
I learned years ago when spending a lot of time in the hospital (NOT a quiet place, even in the wee hours) to use earbuds and listen to soft music/water/nature sounds. One of my doctors told me to play solitaire on my phone when I can’t get my brain to shut down; the monotonous-ness puts me to sleep every time.
Use the bathroom if I have to, carefully DON’T look at any clock so I don’t begin calculating how much longer I have until I have to get up for the day, lie back down, clear my mind as completely as possible, and Zzzzz. Hardly ever fails.
I put in earplugs about a half hour before I go to bed. All noise becomes a distant hum. If you wake up before time, do not turn on a light; go pee or get a drink of water, then lay back down like that was the reason you got up, and go back to sleep. Works for me.
If you have indoor/outdoor cats, get in the habit of putting on slippers or sandals when you get up, whatever you step in can wait until morning, but at least it will not be on your bare feet where you have to do something about it Right Now. Ignorance can indeed be bliss. Sweet dreams!
Funny thing. Back when I was in college I was at a friend’s apartment (they lived off campus). It was probably about midnight and her roommate sort of half walks half stumbles out of her room, heads towards the kitchen, pounds a glass of chocolate milk and says “Nothing like a glass of chocolate milk to help you fall back asleep” It was nice to hear that after all the people saying “How can you fall asleep after drinking chocolate milk?” I dunno, but it’s always worked.
It seems like about each year I’ll get into a different habit for this purpose. Lately, I’ve picked some song (popular music, usually rock) and tried to analyze it – time signature, chord structure (i.e., “I vi IV V7 I flat-VII V7 I”, that kind of thing), overall structure (intro-verse 1-verse 2-refrain), etc. I am not a musicologist or professional musician. For whatever reason, I usually drift off pretty easily with this. Seems to have something to do with my brain not having room for much distraction, since half of it is recalling a song while the other half is trying to figure the song out.
If my mind is dwelling on things and that’s what’s keeping me up, I deliberately stop thinking. As soon as I start to ramble down that things to do tomorrow, stupid thing I said yesterday, why didn’t I remember to path, I try to make my mind blank. Then if I’m lucky, dream thoughts start to slip in and I drift off.
If that isn’t happening, I will try to match my breathing to the dog or cat next to me - I guess that only works if you have pets, but probably works with a human partner, too. Concentrating on inhaling and exhaling in rhythm with that gives me something to think about other than the fact that I can’t sleep and need to sleep and want to sleep, and also seems to be the right pace to relax and drift off.
And then if it’s really not happening, I pick up a book and read. Still going to be tired at work tomorrow, but at least I had some quiet time and got to read my book.
I used to have this problem whenever my next day at work was going to be particularly challenging - never on the days of little responsibility!
The sequential relaxation thing never works for me. I’m so perverse that I end up in a knot of tight muscles. Gah!
What worked for me was making a single rule and that was I couldn’t worry, ruminate, plan or even think while I was in the bed. If my mind was working overtime I had to get out of the bed and do something sedate but constructive until I was ready to try again. That way I had a choice - lie there unconcerned or get up (and maybe get a letter written or a chapter of a book read.)
Eventually I taught myself to lie there just blank and breathing until I drifted off. And on the rare occasion that it doesn’t work I still get up, even though I’m now retired.
It’s interesting how much you can learn to enjoy just being, listening and clearing your mind until the funny little hypnogogic hallucinations tickle your brain and then off-------you-----go------.
Happens to me a lot. After I check the bedside clock to make sure it’s not almost time to get up, I just day dream. Close the eyes, pick a topic, give the imagination a kick start and see where it goes while just breathing.
Sometimes I go back to sleep, other times I just doze and daydream but it’s still more rest than getting up.
