I’ve been doing this a lot lately. It’s not fun. Two-thirty am, three am, three-thirty…I can usually get back to sleep eventually, but it takes a while, and when I’m lying there awake I worry–a lot. Also it makes me tired.
Does this happen to you? If so, what do you find helpful?
By “helpful” I mean
a) helpful in getting back to sleep sooner rather than later, but also
b) managing the anxiety even if a) doesn’t happen, and
c) keeping the waking up from happening to begin with, if that’s in the cards.
By way of background, this has been going on for probably three weeks. I have little or no difficulty going to sleep when I get to bed. I seem to wake up in the wee hours regardless of what time I get to bed (usually between 10:30 and 12) and regardless of what time I need to be up in the morning (usually 6:45-7). I have tried taking ambien, but it doesn’t seem to have much if any effect on this problem. I do plan to see my doctor if it continues much longer.
What else? There’s no obvious indication of sleep apnea: if I snore more than your average guy in his late fifties I’m not aware of it. Life is definitely stressful right now. I have had some success doing breathing exercises, or turning on the light and reading, or even going for an occasional short walk outdoors; these things can all alleviate some of the anxiety, but not for long and they don’t seem to help all that much with going back to sleep. I figure I’m getting four to five hours a night, which is…not horrible but it’s also not good.
I am something of an insomniac so during the work week I sleep in our guest room with FM talk radio (CBC or NPR) playing at a very low volume. For me it’s a godsend. In the worst case I may not be sleeping but I am listening to really interesting, distracting stuff rather than lying there staring at the ceiling.
The recommended “get up and read until you’re too tired” just doesn’t work for me as I get too tired to read but not tired enough to sleep. Trust me, I get the frustration.
I build an imaginary dreamscape to fall into when my eyes close. Not the real past, present, or future, oh no. Distant mountains, a nearer forest, a bubbling river, fuzzy critters bounding about. No money or machines. Try it.
Try listening to some easy listening music on low volume. Light classical, smooth jazz, etc. Nothing that will get you fired up. It helps me get to sleep fast.
I’ve suffered with bouts of insomnia such as you describe for several years.
For me, it’s related to stress-related low grade pain. I get relief by using a Body Back Buddy to release trigger points and ease muscle pain. I can usually go back to sleep shortly after working with it for 10-15 minutes. The thing is a lifesaver.
I’m a classic insomniac. Can’t go to sleep. I find if I try to make myself sleep its worse. I get muscle soreness and no rest.
When you wake up give yourself a set amount of time to go back to sleep. If it doesn’t happen get up. Maybe sit in a chair in the dark. I think getting up and doing excercise or going outside would rev me up. YMMV Reading when I need sleep ends up in a headache.
I put a reclininer in my bedroom just for sitting quietly in the dark and trying my hardest to not think about my stressors. I recite memorized poetry or dialogue from books in my head. I get a type of rest that way. Not optimal, of course.
I’ve long since abandoned the get up and clean the fridge, school of thought. That never worked.
Good luck.
I do a breathing exercise: inhale for a count of 4, hold your breath for 2, breath out for 6. It helps with anxiety. Some nights if I just keep repeating that I will get to sleep.
I make lots of lists. If something’s written down on a list it is less likely to wake me up or keep me up.
Counting backwards from 100. No interruptive thoughts. So if I get to 70 and suddenly think about the project at work, I start again at 100. It can be sometimes difficult to get past 80 without having to start again.
Similar, I tell the parts of my body to go to sleep, starting with the toes. Only after I feel that my toes are asleep (not the cutting off the circulation type) do I start on the ball of the foot, etc.
Consider tracking what you are eating and reducing caffeine, if you haven’t already. I would wake up at 3:30 to use the bathroom and then couldn’t get back to sleep.
This happens to me when I’m stressed by something, and usually I don’t know it’s bothering me until I wake up in the wee hours and my brain latches onto it. I have a couple of strategies:
Get up and pee, even if you don’t think you have to. Sometimes there’s just enough autonomous internal nudging there that it doesn’t feel urgent but it still keeps you from relaxing completely.
Instead of thinking “Omg, I’ve got to be up in 3 hrs, I’ve got to go back to sleep or I’ll be useless!!!” I snuggle in as comfortably as I can and congratulate myself “I have a whole 3 hrs to nap, what a luxury!” If I convince my brain that this is a treat I tend to fall asleep quickly and deeply.
I do the breathing exercise Sunny Daze mentioned, and/or do a focused relaxation (starting at my feet, think about each body part going limp and melting into the mattress)
If my brain is still fizzing like a coked-up squirrel, I add in an external distraction-
I have a sleep meditation app (free) that I found that plays nice music and has a soothing, quiet voice basically telling your brain to leave you alone because there’s nothing that can be done right now to solve the problems. There’s a ton of them out there, you just have to hunt a bit to find the voice/music/interface that works best.
I have a couple of shows I watch that essentially I love, but there’s something about them that also makes me fall asleep if I’m the least bit tired. Time Team (old British archaeology show, on YouTube) and Great British Baking Show are my favorites. I put them on on the iPad playing quietly and just turn the pad upside down so there’s no light but I can listen to them. I bet a podcast or news show would work as well so long as it wasn’t something that got you fired up.
If none of that works I just get up and try to get something productive done. If I’m doing laundry at 4 am, or paying bills, or cleaning the bathroom, at least I’m not “wasting” those perfectly good sleeping hours. Plus at the end of the day when I’m beat the chores are already done so I get to feel smug about being efficient
This problem is an old frienemy to me, sorry it’s visiting you too.
I feel your pain and exhaustion, along with everybody else who posted. I don’t have a suggestion because I haven’t found anything yet that works for me. However, as a result of my insomnia, I have fully and strictly deregulated my weekends. Household chores will get done, eventually, if you want me to go to some activity, tell me the time and I will honestly tell you I will ne there but probably late. The only schedule I adhere to is when I tell you when and where. For example, I have a lunch date tomorrow and I will be there at the appointed time since I suggested that time.
I’ll admit that I could sleep on a bed of nails and not be bothered by it, so take this advice with a grain of salt.
Eyestrain. Get a tablet or laptop, make the fonts small enough to be quite challenging, and start reading. The content of the material doesn’t matter, but I suppose that something boring would help. I don’t last 5 minutes when reading while horizontal.
Alternately, lie on your back and focus on a spot that is slightly behind your straight vision. Try to keep visual contact on the spot for a few minutes. That should make your eyes tired.
Whatever works for you, I hope you solve the problem soon.
When that happens to me (and it still does, all too often), I just silently recite the first few lines of the serenity prayer (I choose to omit the ‘god’ part) endlessly, and the situation usually clears up in 10-15 minutes. Substitute your own favorite meditative phrase, etc. Just loop it and keep it running until the worries shut down and sleep takes you back.
Waking up in the middle of the night happens to me a lot. A fall asleep in about a minute. I always read for a good half hour in bed before ‘lights out’.
Usually waking up and thinking about things to do. I guess a little anxiety.
If I have to get my mind off of something, I will think about describing a process to someone. A process I enjoy. My Wife and I play a lot of chess. I taught her the game. Just thinking about describing the movement of the pieces to another that knows nothing of the game takes just enough brain power to keep my mind off other things.
My tablet lives on my nightstand, and if I wake at a stupid hour and can’t fall back to sleep, I’ll play a brainless puzzle game till I find I’m dozing off. I know some people say screen time is more stimulating than relaxing, but this is what works for me. Definitely more relaxing that the earworm that usually plagues me when I wake at stupid hours.
“Ruminating” refers to the chewing of cud, and I have that problem, caused by a dysfunction of the esophagus (achalasia). There is no cure but there are surgical procedures to help deal with the problem. I recently had that done and it definitely is helping.
As for the more metaphorical type of ruminating, I deal with it by listening to audiobooks, ones that I’ve listened to many times already - usually something by Terry Pratchett. It keeps my mind from wandering, but since I’m so familiar with it already, it won’t get me interested and awake.
Look up “middle of the night insomnia”. It’s not classical insomnia since you can fall asleep easily.
There’s not going to be a single solution. Life stress is going to be a factor. You can reduce night stress by having a calm and relaxing transition time before sleep. Don’t do things that are highly interactive or energetic, such as video games, watching sports, etc. Stay off your phone, social media, and computer. Instead, watch shows on TV that you find relaxing, read a book, listen to calming music, etc.
If you wake up and have trouble falling back asleep, take a single benadryl. It will make you drowsy and last about 4 hours. Only do this occasionally. If you do it all the time, the benadryl will lose effectiveness. Plus, you don’t want to develop a dependency on it. So if it’s been a few days of bad sleep and you need to get a good night of sleep, that would be a good time to take one.
Don’t worry too much if you can’t fall asleep. Just lying in bed can be relaxing and rejuvenating. Also, you may be dozing in and out but not realizing it. If you’re in that in between stage, your conscious brain doesn’t sense that you fell asleep. You may feel like you were awake for hours, but really you may have been drifting in and out of a light sleep without realizing it.
In a similar vein: one of my psych professors once said that he used the following method. Pick a number. It doesn’t matter which one, but his choice was the number 1. Then picture it in your mind and focus intently on it. If your mind starts to drift, force it back to the number. Eventually, you’ll fall asleep. Now, it takes practice. It’s not easy to make your brain do what you want it to do. The only problem with this method is that it’s a form of self-hypnosis, so if you start talking about this method to someone, it’s likely you’ll start getting drowsy. I had to change from 1 to 3 because I was finding it difficult to conjure up images of 1; weird, eh?
I swear by taking a magnesium supplement before bed. For many years I had a horrible problem with waking up a lot at night, and I have anxiety and chronic pain that I manage with all the excellent ways suggested by others here.
Once I began taking magnesium, I started sleeping through the night for the first time in a decade, and it still works most of the time. I hope you find some combination that works for you, because it’s a special kind of torment waking up and worrying through the night.
