Requesting: tales of people being inappropriately dressed

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

I’ve shared this before, but when my Great Aunt Clara died (she was easily the sweetest lady who walked the face of the earth) her very obese son-in-law came to the funeral wearing a misshapen polo shirt, pill-y khaki pants, and very worn-down hush puppies. I only mention his weight because the clothes were stretched out and obviously old and well-worn. Honestly, he wasn’t even as presentable as the maintenance guys who worked at the church. He was a slob, always was. I never understood what my cousin saw in him…

Another real zinger - brother of the groom shows up to a lovely afternoon wedding in a yellow polo shirt, tan cargo shorts, and boat shoes with no socks. This was not a beach wedding - it was held in a very nice hall and the men in the wedding party were in tuxedos. The family photos were really, um, something…

This was not so much dress as, well, I’m not sure what. One of the groomsmen at my sister’s wedding decided that 2 days before the ceremony, he needed to get *elective *nose surgery. He showed up dressed like all the other groomsmen, but with a big old bandage across his face. My sister and her husband pretty much cut him from their circle of friends after that.

82

My ex-wife’s cousin’s husband showed up at our daughter’s wedding dressed in a wool plaid shirt and bib overalls. No, he’s not a farmer; he worked at a paper mill at the time. I just chuckled and paid no attention to it; after all, the clothes were clean and pressed. My ex had a shit fit over it, which is part of the reason she’s my ex. I suppose I could have seen it as being a bit disrespectful, but life’s too short.

83

An acquaintance of mine once showed up at a wedding in sneakers, polo shorts, and sneakers without socks. My friends told me that when they mentioned it, he got all offended and said, “If I knew that I HAD TO dress up…” I already knew the rest and finished the sentence: “… I wouldn’t have come.” The guy in question left the army after a full career embittered and vowing to never take an order from anyone ever again. Unfortunately, he thinks that conforming to expectations of polite behaviour falls under this heading.

84

I will tell this story in this thread because (a) it’s funny, (b) I don’t really feel like working, and © it makes a point that “appropriate dress” is so very relative.

My wife and I went on a nude cruise last year. Now, on our usual nude vacations, we like to dress up in the evenings, either in smart resort casual or in something erotic.

This being a cruise, there was a formal night. So, I a carefully chose a classic, Carey Grant-style tux and my wife brought an absolutely beautiful long formal gown.

Now, I know this will offend some people, but our fellow cruisers largely consisted of crunchy granola, militant nudists. I mean, they were truly zealots. You know the type - their zeal is the monolithic component of their personality. On our way to the dining room on formal night, I overheard several people making catty remarks about our dress. There probably only 20-30 people in the main dining room. For the other 1500 or so people, it was more important to be naked 24 hours a day than it was to have a good time.

After a wonderful dinner, my wife and I walked down to the ship’s main atrium, where they had a lounge act most evenings. Now, I’m here to tell you, I looked sharp.

There were several gay couples on this cruise. One of these couples liked to dance a lot and they were very good at it. Swing dancing, ballroom dancing, they were a pleasure to watch and they were dancing in the atrium most evenings. That evening, we stood for a while on the balcony a couple of decks above the atrium, watching these guys dance.

I though to myself, “This is pretty much a unique experience. On a ship in the middle of the Caribbean, dressed to the nines, watching two middle-aged men, wearing nothing but pink feathers on their dicks, dance.” And I smiled.

Now, I asked you, which of the two couples, me and my wife or the two dancing gentlemen, were dressed inappropriately for this situation?

85

Well, I was wearing an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time, and I forgot to exchange the white onion for a yellow one.

(And, yes, it did take me this long to think of that :smiley: )

86

I’ve been known to attend client meetings in my bathrobe (of course, since I work from home and the meetings are all remote this really is NOT a big deal).

Possibly the most startling “outfit” I saw was at a waterpark. A woman (50ish I imagine, and who did NOT have a figure that looked good in a skimpy suit) arrived wearing what was clearly a too-small-for-the-job bikini top.

But it’s OK, no risk of showing anything: she wore that over her bra - a plain white Playtex-type (i.e. serviceable but about as attractive as a bowl of soggy bran flakes).

It would have looked better if she’d just shown up in the bra and left off the bikini top.

87

I’m sure everyone is aware of the People of WalMart site. If I stop at one of the “ghetto” supermarkets, gas stations, WalMart, or a dollar store around where I live*, it’s quite common to see people shopping in pajamas, bedroom slippers, very large people in ridiculously skimpy outfits and underwear showing. Regular-sized people too, come to that.

This afternoon I was in line at a gas station behind a guy wearing fairly short-shorts, a belly-baring mesh t-shirt (trust me, he did not have a belly that ought to have been bared for public appreciation) and the most ridiculously tall, gelled mullet I have seen on a real human since about 1987. And sandals with black socks. There is simply no venue I can think of where that would be appropriate. I actually thought of this thread and wished I’d had the ovaries to snap a photo to share.

*I live just barely north of Flint, Michigan.

88

Several years ago, I attended a memorial service for a friend. He was a very caring, spiritual guy and the community recognized it. Had to be 600 people in the church for it. He was religious, I’m not, but he was important to me and I wanted to pay my respects and commiserate.

Most were dressed as you would expect. Suits and dresses for most, slacks and dress shirts for others.

But there were a number of people who dressed for beach volleyball. Like they would spend a few minutes in the service then hang out by the pool. I understand you not wanting to wear a suit on a hot day…or maybe you don’t own a suit…I don’t judge that. But to dress like a sloth at a solemn occasion?? Seriously? You wore shorts and sandals? You couldn’t even wear jeans and polo shirt??

89

At my grandmother’s funeral 13 years ago, my cousin’s daughter wore a micro-mini, halter top, backless, silver sequinned clubbing dress.

My grandmother’s family are all pretty well-off and upper crust, Southern polite manners kind of people, so no one said anything outright, but there was a lot of "bless her heart"ing going on afterwards.

90

I have had to send student workers home because of the following outfits:

overalls, no shirt (overalls with a shirt would have been acceptable)
no shirt whatsoever (male)
bikini style halter top (no bra, nipples clearly visible)
muscle shirt cut off to show bare midriff (both genders)
bicycle shorts (no or little underwear, both genders biological gender obvious from outlines of shorts)
various gym clothes dripping and reaking with sweat
and my personal favorite a Luann Platter long T-shirt with short shorts combination in which the shorts were so short she appeared to be wearing only a T-shirt (student did protest that she was wearing shorts all along, big deal that’s not what it looked like and her T-shirt didn’t pass the fingertip length test)

I know some of this stuff they could probably get away with wearing to class, but they should be grown up to know that they can’t wear it to work in the library.l

91

(Bolding mine.)

As background, I have spent more time than most in nudist resorts or in places where nudism is normal. Beaches, camp grounds, spas, retreats, and three visits to Hedonism in Jamaica and multiple weekends at the Turtle Lake nudist resort here in Michigan.*

I would say you and your wife were definitely not dressed appropriately for a nude cruise, no matter how sharp you looked. The whole point of nudism is not about the clothes you’re wearing, because, well, that’s the point. If some sexual playfulness was tolerated or encouraged on the cruise, the two guys were very appropriate.

*Hedonism not only welcomes, but encourages sexual play and themes. Turtle Lake is very non-sexual in the approach to being nekkid. So one acts appropriately. Since both venues are about nudism though, fully-clothed people are considered weird and possibly voyeurs, or banned outright. With sensible accommodations made for women having periods, nervous first-timer men afraid of inappropriate boners, etc.

92

Speaking of Church…

My mom used to have a place in Vegas just down the street from Siegfried and Roy. The church was just across the street. One Sunday, she’s going to church and a limo pulls up. Out steps Siegfried, in a white tuxedo, then Roy steps out wearing a nun’s habit!

My mom says it was unmistakably him!

93

I agree with you. Our ‘dress up’ was more a costume for the evening than anything else, since the theme was formal night. Shortly thereafter, we changed into some slutwear and went dancing ourselves.

There was no sexual playfullness allowed on this cruise and we were aware of that beforehand. There was also little of any kind of playfullness. These were some damned serious nudists.

94

Heh, yeah - context is everything. So the guys with the pink feathers may have been overstepping the bounds, or not.

With the exception of Hedonism resorts, pretty much all other nudism I’ve been a part of has been very, very puritanical and proper, with most places allowing or encouraging nudism being WAY more conservative than your average bar or even coffee shop, and many places being family and children friendly. There’s even at least one Christian nudist/naturist organization.

Anyhow, back to clothing… :slight_smile:

95

They were being perfect gentlemen. They were obviously very much in love and they were such good dancers.

But I would not be surprised if someone didn’t give them attitude about their feathers. Some of the more militant nudists may have considered them overdressed, too.

96

High school prom supply store.

In most states, people on unemployment are required to put in a certain number of job apps per week to show that they are actively seeking work. I have known people who deliberately apply for jobs they know they don’t have a chance of getting hired for, because they either want to stay on unemployment as long as possible, or they are hoping that something perfect will come up before their unemployment runs out, and they don’t want to end up in a so-so job, and miss out on their dream job (just reporting here, not agreeing).

For the record, Orthodox women can wear pants, but they have to be demonstrably not men’s pants-- for example, the zipper needs to be on the side or in the back, or they need to have some kind of girly trim. The zipper is really key, though.

97

A friend was having a wedding at a nice country club, so I wore a suit. I went to another friend’s house to pick him up and he was in jeans and a button down shirt. He laughed at me for wearing a suit, saying I would stand out. He decided to change into slacks and grabbed a blazer. When we got to the wedding, he was the only male there that wasn’t wearing a black suit.

Another time, a big group of us decided to go out for dinner and a movie. It wasn’t formal or anything, but most of us dressed up nice. One guy was wearing gym shorts and the free t-shirt he got from whatever protein powder her ordered. I was sure he felt out of place.

We did the same thing a few weeks later and I figured he was going to dress like the rest of us this time. He wore the exact same clothes.

98

I’m really not up on clothes–I basically trust my wife’s judgment and tend to wear clothes that don’t require much thought. So although I’m sure I’m the subject of some such stories, I don’t personally know them.

I remember once being at my wife’s (then girlfriend’s) house, and her roommate was getting ready to go see a movie with this cute guy in her class. She was a landscape architect student, in a very get-your-hands-dirty program, so she was looking forward to the date and spent an hour or so getting all dolled up: hair done, tasteful makeup, lovely dress, jewelry, everything.

At last the guy shows up. He’s in a t-shirt, jeans, and baseball cap, and clearly flummoxed as soon as he sees her. I don’t know which of them was dressed inappropriately, but we never heard anything more about this guy.

99

Who the fuck dresses like that to go see a movie?

100

We were on vacation at an event in Quebec province last summer. One of the locals from the event tragically died. Sorry, home is too far away to return & get a suit. I wore the best clothes I had (sneakers, jeans, polo shirt) to the funeral, pretty much the same as others in our group. I dressed as well as I could be yet I still feel a bit akward…until I see a *few *of the locals filling the church. Shorts, sandals, etc. They don’t own a pair of khakis? It gets cold there in the winter; surely they own some closed-toe shoes. Given the family was wearing black suits/dresses I don’t think this was a beach funeral & had the effect of transferring my embarrassment from me to them.