Emily Post suggests that you not call attention to yourself, and simply have an acolyte/alter boy pass a note to the officiant. Miss Manners further advises that if it is not a religious service, you should just leave things be, unless you have reason to suspect that the bride has lied to the groom about her virginal status, in which case, you should address the matter before the ceremony.
A few weekends ago I saw a young man wearing this ( http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/579/450/897.jpg ) including the fedora (note, it was not the guys from the photo, but a clone).
He seemed to be with his girlfriend and her parents. So cringe inducing…
When I worked in a Pet Store we all wore jeans, t-shirts, and closed-toe shoes. For heaven’s sake, we cleaned up shit for a living! We had a co-op student who would wear a strappy sundress, sandals and a “Blossom” hat. Even after being told a few times not to wear that. She didn’t last long.
What’s a “blossom” hat? something with real flowers?
ETA: nevermind, Googled it. It’s a “tween” wearing the kind of hat the middle-aged Modern Orthodox women wear to shul.
Yes, sorry, it’s the kind of hat that Mayim Bialik always wore on “Blossom” back in the day.
My fashion pet peeves (irrational, I know): dark socks with shorts; any socks with sandals; short-sleeve shirts with ties; polo shirts with the top button buttoned; visible armpit sweat stains on dress shirts; torn pants; kids with their pants riding very low and their underwear showing. Get off my lawn!
When I was a prosecutor I asked a witness to come to court the next day wearing his “Sunday best.” Imagine my surprise when he showed up in a bright orange Edwardian-length suit with a looooong row of buttons up the front. Snappy!
I gather from my friends who do criminal law that ‘defendants and witnesses’ notions of proper court attire’ are a whole sub-genre of this thread unto itself. 
Which makes sense, as Bialik is the quintessential Modern Orthodox woman.
Socks with sandals, ugh…
Obviously an alien anthropologist, in carefully researched native-dress, being dropped off in an out-of-the-way spot to begin a research assignment.
It was probably just sheer luck that you didn’t run across her intern, wearing a two-sizes too small foil Arcturian erotic opera shirt, dragging an upside-down crate of Very Sensitive Equipment, yelling “Hey Doc, where did you want this crap, again?”
I have a theory that there are aliens living among us, who had to take a very long, thorough, painstaking class in how to fit in with earthlings before they were deployed, but a few of them missed a single day of class, and never got the notes from someone else.
We were asked to stand up for my the baptism of my wife’s brother’s new baby. He (the father) skipped the mass but showed up afterward, when the baptism was to be performed. Wearing jeans. And a white t-shirt. A white Hell’s Angels t-shirt.
The baby turned out to be a fine young lady. The father? he’s currently serving a five-year prison term.
Some of the Japanese tourists I saw on Diamond Head were head scratchers with their cowboy boots (usually brand new) and high heels on that narrow uneven rocky trail. I’m surprised none of them twisted/broke an ankle or worse.
Did you accidentally step into a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney game??
I went to a kids event and one of the fathers wore a hat with the word “fuck” on it. It’s not like my kid doesn’t hear that word come out of my mouth a lot and couldn’t read at the time anyway, but dude, come on. Some of the kids could read and it wasn’t like we were all family.
I have to echo all the court tales. I’ve only really gone on a few civil matters or observing for class, but I am always the best dressed person there who is not a lawyer, and I just dress business casual. The amount of flip flops and sweat pants and torn pants never ceases to amaze me. If nothing else, you can’t find jeans and a solid-color t-shirt? gah.
I’m still mad at my former boss for hiring the girl the rest of us all came to hate when she wore jeans to her interview… and continued to wear them, despite our strict no-jeans policy. But he was incapable of telling younger, pretty girls they did anything wrong.
I saw a woman a few years ago at the beach that… well, I don’t like to body shame, but this woman… She was flabby and overweight. Which itself is not reason to judge her. But she wore what basically was the female equivalent of that Borat banana hammock two sizes too small. She was also old enough to know better (mid 40s, maybe early 50s). It would have been a tough suit to pull off if you were 20 years old and a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model wearing the proper sized suit, but when you put it all together, it was epic.
I sometimes wonder if she lost a bet or someone dared her to do it.
It was the “too small” aspect of it that really was too much. Otherwise it’d be like “Hey, whatever makes you happy. Work it, girl.” I can overlook too much skin, but constricted and shoved in places it should have been… I just can’t.
Dear gent waiting in the bag-drop line:
While you’re in your late 20s and not the ugliest thing on Earth, I really, really, really wasn’t planning on seeing any nipples here; I would have consider them unappropriate even if they had been attached to the love child of Orlando Bloom and Brad Pitt. The fact that your T-shirt had been carefully modified in order to show as much skin as you did* only compounds the matter.
I’m used to seeing all manners of dress around airports, but you made the two over-surgeried bottle-blondes with the painted-on halters and shorts from two weeks ago look elegant by comparison.
- Sleeves ripped off, sides ripped open, then carefully sewn up.
No, but that would’ve been fun!
I stil remember my cousin’s then-BF turning up to our Grandad’s funeral in rags he’d apparently slept in. There was a slogan on the t-shirt but it was too faded and dirty to read. My Grandad was a tolerant man, but he always wore a suit, and this was a church funeral. If the BF hadn’t had anything more suitable to wear, someone would have loaned something.
I once pulled an English as a Foreign Language student aside after class to explain what her t-shirt meant. Her level of English was not that bad, so she could understand me, but prior to our talk she hadn’t understood that “just fuck me” (written like the slogan “just do it”) might get her into trouble. She was a very innocent and petite Japanese 18-year-old who’d just arrived in the UK and was walking around with a map in her hands asking strangers for directions. She knew fuck was a bad word but thought it was just an expression. Even if it didn’t get her into trouble outside class, it was inappropriate in the class.
I wouldn’t be surprised if someone in the US tried to use it in court as a rape defense.
Objection!!