As I’ve mentioned on this board, my one New Year’s Resolution for 2017 was: I would become more positive.
And at the end of this year I have to report, I think I actually have become more positive. Not to the extent that I’ve cured my depression, but I believe I feel better about things in general. A little, at least.
I tried little exercises like writing down things I was grateful for. That only lasted through January. It got to be like homework I hated, so I stopped.
But I kept watch over myself, to catch my own mental abuse. I did not allow my inner voice to call me an idiot, even in jest. I think I managed that well. I still tend to think of all the bad things that could happen in life, and dwell on sad or angry memories. But I’m trying to remember, that even if the worst stuff happens, I would get past it, like I get past everything else.
And how many times does the worst happen anyway? Statistically speaking, it’s rarely, because it’s on the end of the spectrum of consequences. Whatever happens, the results of anything are likely to be somewhere in between the best outcome and the worst.
Yes, my mom became bedridden this year. But she’s still alive, and now she’s not falling down all the time like before. Yes, I have to be careful to keep her from getting bedsores, but her skin is in good shape so far. Yes, I have to help her with the commode, but there’s always the chance my cat Tippy will wrap up the poo in paper. And if I catch that on video, maybe I can put it on YouTube.
Yes, my job sucks, and it doesn’t make enough money. But it’s permanent with benefits. And they let me listen to the internet on my headphones as long as I get my work done. That’s never been the case at any job I’ve had before. Makes a big difference in making the time pass.
So, all in all, a qualified success. Still, I’m keeping this resolution for another year.
Along with a new one to write something creative everyday, no matter how short.
Maybe I’ll write me a novella of 365 sentences.
How about anyone else? How’d you do with your 2017 resolutions?