Wow, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone use the phrase “that’s what they want you to think” in defense of a crazy conspiracy theory non-ironically. (well, OK, it was “that’s the attitude they want you to have”, but close enough).
I have a bicycle. I do not have a helmet. That’s just how I roll. However, I hate the asswipes who ride on the sidewalk and almost run me down when I am walking somewhere. So, am I for you or against you? Shit if I know 
I was expecting the op to be a parody of this, actually.
I’d probably hate bike riders a lot more if I wasn’t co-workers with several respectful and conscientious ones. The ones I see on my daily commute are more the “suicidal college idiot” type.
You know, I’ve never had a problem with a cyclist on the road. All the ones around here tend to be polite, courteous, and safe. Same goes for the drivers, actually.
I like it here.
Where is that? It sounds like Bizarro World.
La La Land is pretty cool. I hope to retire there. Which part do you live in? Mayberry? I would be hard pressed to find a good cyclist on the road unless you count the ones with a ambulance crew standing over them shaking their head.
Parody.
That Maes guy is a shitstain and an egregious example of how certain Loyal Amurricans will drink the Kool-Aid till it spurts out their ears, eventually coming to believe that any show of compassion, nonviolence or non-gobbling-up of resources is another domino fallen in the progression toward a reign of limp-wristed, tofu-eating terror.
I, OTOH, am actually a bicyclist and moonbat liberal, whose city is bike-friendly and has maintained such a policy for over 35 years.
Thanks for all the BBQing, though. Sometimes it’s nice to be flamebroiled for no real reason. Honorable mention to Knorf, who wrote:
And may the good Lord administer a great pus-spurting rusty-implemented skullfuck to you and every living organism you love.
I’ve got no problem with bicyclists in general, but what’s with Ted from accounting dressing up like Lance Armstrong shooting for the yellow jersey? For the record, I don’t really believe all the logos on your ill fitting lycra shorts are actually sponsorships for your ride around Back Cove.
Ted from accounting is clearly a flaming, screaming, senior-grade, gold-braided, fuel-injected, ultra-de-luxe douchebag. He and his bicycle really ought to fed to a woodchipper, and his entrails strung from telephone wires as a warning to all and sundry.
Dude, emo was SO last decade.
Oh god, I hate that guy! What about Linda, from human resources, wearing her Nike running shoes and shorts when she goes jogging. Please. Like she’s ever going to be in the Olympics. And Louis from engineering, the dipshit, actually wears a baseball glove when he’s playing outfield! Can you believe that?!
Bunch of pansies. When I go bowling, fuck the ball, I throw MYSELF down the alley.
Whatever, dude. I’m standing by my comment about BMW and truck drivers.
And fuck bicycles too, for changing for no good reason. I finally blew out my fork this year - do you know how hard it is to find a decent suspension fork with v-brake tabs on it these days? Impossible*, because all the goddamned biker riders moved on to disc brakes. Why? Most of them are not even fast enough to need brakes. So now I may have to rebuild my wheel just because, well, for no good reason.
*Ok, not impossible but hard. I had to buy an '09 model to get the tabs.
Disk breaks??? What’s next? A drag chute like the land speed record guys put on rocket cars??
Please, can we save the hate and ridicule for the recumbent riders who deserve it?
Actually, yes.
(Seriously, I have the same streamlined bicycle (tricycle) and I’ve often been concerned about brakes overheating during long descents. Bikes don’t have engine brakes.)
You know what’s really un-American? The Twike! (It’s Swiss.)
I wish I could afford one of those . . . Riding an upright bike always makes my ass numb, even with a wide seat and padded shorts. Makes my hands numb too, even with padded biking gloves. Uprights look a lot comfier.
Aren’t you that trustafarian who’s too smart to have a job, or something?
Aha! I got you on this one. Louis from engineering doesn’t just where a baseball glove when he’s playing outfield, he’s also wears pinstripe knickers with matching stirrup socks, a batting glove just on his left hand, Nike metal cleats, three wristbands, an elbow protector, eye-black and flip down sunglasses … at the company co-ed, slow-pitch, high-arc softball game.
Boo-yah!