Fuck. One woman attempted suicide after three miscarriages so that her husband could have children with another woman.
Another woman talks about her deep grief and how she had no one she could talk to.
Sad.
If no one else has mentioned it, Chrissy had a placental abruption. They tried to deal with it for weeks with blood transfusions and bed rest, but they couldn’t stop the bleeding. They wanted to try and reach 24 weeks to give the baby a chance at viability. It became obvious that the baby wasn’t getting enough blood and the placental abruption was life threatening. She decided to release the pictures because she wanted everyone to know how much it felt and the raw grief. In general, people have welcomed the chance to actually talk about this kind of loss in public. In the US, we tend to sweep miscarriage/still birth under the rug and not publicly discuss it.
Overall, I agree that our society hides death too much. We should acknowledge these losses. It shouldn’t be shameful to discuss them.
[quote=“DemonTree, post:53, topic:924223”]
Another response to the Tiegen/Legend miscarriage, an article by a journalist who suffered several miscarriages herself:
This is a long read, but worth every minute. Thank you for posting it. I encourage women to read it for solidarity and men to read it for understanding.
There’s no wrong way to go about it. It just depends on the individual and their comfort level. I am the sort of person who can’t hold stuff in. Everything we did seemed organic to my personality. For the second pregnancy, we told close friends and family right away but didn’t go fully public until 11 weeks. I just kept asking myself, “Would I want this person to support me if something goes wrong?” and if the answer was “yes,” I told them.
I think Tiegen is so used to sharing her life online that when she asked herself, “Do I want fan support right now?” the answer was “yes.”
Yeah. I guess I’m the opposite, I actually found it surprisingly hard to bring up and find a way to tell people. But when I said maybe it was the wrong way, I mean maybe I would have wished I’d told more people if the worst happened. No way to know now.
Yes. I really don’t understand people who enjoy fame and having fans, but we’re all different. If it comforts them to have support from fans, that’s the important thing.
I told people close to me pretty early on because I knew I would have wanted their support for losing a pregnancy, as well as their congratulations for it continuing. For me, it would have helped. (I also told my work for practical reasons - not wanting to lift heavy barrels at the pub I was working in). However, that might have partly been because the baby’s father wasn’t interested, so I wouldn’t have had support at home.
Obviously there definitely is no wrong way, and holding that secret knowledge of a baby growing inside you is quite pleasant in a way. But that article is right - secrecy can add to the grief.
It’s not my thing, but that wasn’t my baby. Teigen and Legend should be entitled to deal with this as best they can.
I do know this; women who miscarry often don’t know how to deal with it, and it’s very common for them to be blamed for it by insensitive people. Women who lose their unborn children often carry guilt and shame about what happened. After Teigen shared this loss on social media, many women who’d been through the same thing spoke up and said they felt helped by Teigen’s openness and bringing her grief out into the open, that they could talk about it, too. That’s a good thing.
In today’s paper, it mentioned ex-princess Meghan’s miscarriage, with no details of the length of pregnancy. Just observing that this seems to be an accepted practice - at least among some people.
Did you read Markle’s piece that sparked this?
Different people writing for different purposes. The Markle piece was not specifically about her miscarriage or pregnancy loss in general - it was about different sorts of losses and how simply being asked " Are you OK? " can be helpful