I’m talking about the person who stares at you blankly while you give a long, convoluted order: “I’ll have the steak and eggs. Steak medium well. Eggs over easy. Hash browns extra crispy. No butter on the pancakes, please.” For whatever reason, this person refuses to pull out their notebook and write it all down.
This drives me absolutely bonkers. I presume they are trying to impress me with their great memory. Instead, all they do is stress me out as I wait praying that I’ll get the order exactly as I’d prefer. And I’d estimate that 40% of the time something comes back wrong (e.g., eggs scrambled instead of over easy).
So, I have a few questions:
Why do some servers do this?
What is my recourse before-the-fact? Should I insist they write down my order? If yes, how would I phrase such a request? Is it likely to antagonize the server?
Some servers actually can do it. Their recall is crazy perfect. But, I know what you mean, I often pause after drink orders to give them time to pull out a order slip, it usually means they walk off to get the drinks.
You could say " I have complicated instructions for my meal would you care to write it out?" say it sweetly. And leave a nice tip if your order is correct.
I used to do this when I waited tables. For two or three people, it didn’t matter how complicated they thought the order was–it wasn’t. For parties of six or more, it might start to get challenging if a lot of them had a bunch of substitutions and special requests. But for eight people to order a drink, a meal cooked to their desired temp, with two chosen sides. It wasn’t difficult. I wouldn’t hesitate to pull out my pad if things started getting crazy. But for a normal group of four or less people with uncomplicated orders, I never wrote a thing down.
One thing I would do before walking away from the table, though, was repeat everyone’s order back to them. Something like, “Okay, just to be sure we’ve got everything, you’re getting such and such with this and that… you’d like, this thing cooked that way… etc, etc.”
Something you can do to ease your anxiety that is not likely to antagonize the server, is to ask them to repeat your order to you to be sure that you didn’t forget to tell him something. “Could you repeat that back to me? I want to make sure I didn’t leave out anything…” or something like that.
Some waiters really do have an astonishing facility for remembering the precise details of every order. Here’s an astonishing demonstration by a talented server.
To all those servers and former servers who have replied, thanks for the information. But I don’t believe anyone has answered the “Why?” question. Is it just easier for the server who can handle the memory load to do it this way?
Also, were you aware that some customers might find the memorization method to be stressful and unnerving?
Also: if a server memorizes the order but doesn’t write it down, how is the order relayed to the kitchen staff? Is it transferred orally again, and then they have to memorize the whole thing, too?
Actually, it kind of just progressed to that point. Mainly due to the fact that customers walk off with your pens after signing their credit card receipts. Unintentionally, sure. But all the time. So there’d be many times where I’d only have one or two pens left, and maybe those pens are not in my pocket because they’re still sitting on a table in front of customers who haven’t signed their bill yet. Or some other waitress needed to borrow my pens because they have a large party with separate checks and she needs more pens for them. Figuring I don’t need them right now, I don’t mind lending then.
But then, a table of four comes in and I figure I’ll just get their drink order, so I don’t bother getting a pen. But they’re ready to order everything, so I just pay close attention. Stuff like that would happen enough times, that I gradually just stopped bothering to write anything down. I just realized it wasn’t necessary for me to write it. Plus, I noticed that I paid better attention to the order when I wasn’t writing it down. I’d be more likely to be unable to read something I wrote in short-hand than to forget something they ordered that I actually put effort into remembering.
No. But like I said, I’d almost always repeat back the entire order. It seemed like most people were more stressed about whether I was bringing them Diet Coke as opposed to regular coke. So that was another thing I’d be sure to say when getting them a refill. I’d say, I’ll be right back with another Diet Coke. Or whatever they were drinking.
I’d have some customers, especially larger parties of like eight people, mention something about me not writing anything down. But they’d be impressed before I walked away because I repeated their entire order correctly. They seemed to enjoy that. Or, at least, they didn’t seem to mind it.
For me, and I think most modern restaurants, the order is entered into a computer terminal. So even when I was writing it all down, it was just so that I could walk over to the POS station and enter their order into the computer. Then I’d just throw away the paper. So, there was really no need to write down anything except to ensure the server remembered everything for the two minutes it took to walk over and enter it into the computer.
This happened to us a couple of weeks back. When the guy insisted on his flawless memory and would not write down the order (and, yes, my family is full of people with “… and can you put X on the side” types), I merely waved down the manager and asked for a server more interested in getting our order correct. Which he did.
I remember eating at a restaurant where all the servers did this. One time, a table of four figured they’d trick him but switching places after he’d left, so that he’d give the orders to the wrong people. He knew what they’d done the second he returned. (And he delivered the drinks to the correct people.)
A tip (from years of running Registration tables at political Conventions): get those cheat ‘stick’ type pens, and leave the caps in back – give them the pen with no cap on it. People are quite unlikely to walk off with your pen when it has no cap.
Mostly people do this out of forgetfulness, and when they go to automatically stick the pen into their pocket, the lack of a top reminds them that it isn’t their pen.
They do it because they can. Back in the day when the written record served as the information to give the kitchen and the means to tally the bill (which it still is in many local places), you had to write it down because you simply had to. It didn’t matter if you could memorize it, because you weren’t the one that was cooking it, and the kitchen wanted something to refer to since while you only had a few tables they had the entire restaurant to keep track of. As mentioned, now plenty of places have all the orders entered into the computer which automatically relays them to the kitchen and prepares the bill, which means that there’s no need for a written record. The server only has to remember it long enough to punch it into the terminal. If they are able to repeat the order back to you, they should be able to retain memory of it long enough to do that. Once it’s in, then they’ll be able to refer to what’s in the computer and refresh their memory on everything if it gets hazy by the time the kitchen finishes it.
I have always seen it as a sign of a seasoned server, and assumed everything would come out right. If I’m at a family restaurant, I don’t expect perfection and will simply mention “remember the blue cheese dressing for my fries” if it is forgotten.
I had never considered that anyone would find this problematic, to the point of asking for a different server before the first one had a chance to make a mistake.
Most serious problems seem to be rooted in a deeper communication breakdown than a waitress’s memory.
Some years back I took my family to an Outback, and my daughter ordered a cheeseburger without bacon–it came with bacon on it. They immediately made a second cheeseburger for her–again with bacon. The manager came out and announced that she would escort the third burger through its process. This time no bacon, and free dessert.
There was no way that the second bacon-burger was caused by memory issues, and the exact repeat of the problem casts doubt on the first mistake coming from omission on the part of the server.
Many years ago, I worked as a server, and in some cases, it was the restaurant that pushed us to memorize orders, to give customers the fantasy experience that they had a set of personal servants who anticipated and remembered their every need.
I’m with the OP on this one. I’ve had a lot of servers do this and about 10% have actually gotten everything right. I mean if you are one of those people who NEVER misses a thing, go for it. It just seems like you’re setting yourself up - people don’t tip better based on a great memory (right?) — anything that’s wrong with the order takes my mind back to the server not writing it down, and my standard 20% goes down more sharply than it would have if the server had actually written it down and not tried to show me he/she was Super Server.
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I once visited a steakhouse with about 5 colleagues in Georgia. About a month later we had to revisit the same area and we ate at the same restaurant. We had the same server and she was able to tell us all what dishes we ordered last time.
I’m with the OP. No need to impress me with your memory skills; I’d far prefer to know that the order was written down and could be looked at later, either by the waiter or the chef, if needed.
There’s a chain of restaurants around here that requires it of their servers. They put a lot of emphasis into training (new servers get 2 weeks of training before they hit the floor), so maybe the servers are drilled on the menu and given memory tips.
I’m also with the OP. I’ve seen a lot of servers who claimed to have a flawless memory. I’ve never, not once, seen one who could get even one order right without writing it down. Instead, they claim that YOU forgot what you ordered. If a server refuses to write my order down, I’ll leave.