Not sure if this is truly Pitworthy. But I feel like swearing, so it can’t go in MPSIMS.
I’ve become fed up with restaurants that force their wait staff to deliver prepared speeches. What’s wrong with the person simply introducing themselves and then taking my order?
Yesterday I was in Red Lobster. The hostess who seated me gave me this spiel about how they were SO happy to see me, that their special summer menu makes them unique, and how I’d find that my waitress is a “seafood expert”. I heard her give this speech precisely the same way to everyone she seated.
Then the waitress has to go through this rigamarole further affirming her status as a “seafood expert” that takes a minute or more, when all I want is my drink order taken and a moment with the menu.
Am I the only person who finds this so transparent as to be insulting? Just tell the poor employees to simply be nice and be themselves, and be done with it! It pains me to see these people forced to recite a script.
I completely agree. I went to a local place a couple of weeks ago, and although the waitress didn’t have to recite a patronizing script, she was apparently required to go through a list of specials–a loooong list of specials. Consisting of about 5 appetizers, 5 entrees, and 3 desserts, and drink specials, with every patron. When she was done I couldn’t remember half of what she said, and during her entire spiel, I kept thinking, “Just let me look at a menu, and I’ll ask you if you have specials.” I also felt bad for her having to memorize so much before her shift.
I really wonder what types of patrons appreciate being rattled off long lists. For me, an evening out should be about the people I’m with; the wait staff should be there to take care of our basic meal needs, but otherwise be unobtrusive when performing their duties.
Hear, hear! Throw in a “fucker-ducker” and 'tis a worthy rant. And have you noticed that they make fast food drive-thru employees do the same? “Hi, and welcome to Burger Joint! Would you like to kick back and gaze lovingly at your family while enjoying our tasty new Icy-swirly-super-sugar-slush?”
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even say “No, thanks” anymore. I just start ordering.
I hate when they ask me if I’ve been there before. What do they expect? “No, I haven’t. What is this piece of paper you have laid in front of me? What should I do with it? How do you work this straw?”
Unless your restaurant works differently than 99% of the restaurants out there, it doesn’t matter.
I’ve always wondered that. 'Course, I like as little interference from the server as possible. When I was one (years and years and years ago), I’d take the order, bring the stuff, check once to see if they needed anything else, and then just spy on them from afar. If they started looking around like they needed something, I approached. If someone’s drink was empty, I approached. But I did not keep checking and checking and checking, interrupting their conversation to get their verbal assurance that they were OK.
When I’m treated likewise in a restaurant, I appreciate it.
My mother and grandma, however, call that “bad service”. They eat it up when some smiley, fakey wait person returns to the table time and time again to make sure every little thing is OK.
I don’t mind it so much when the wait staff come by to check on things, unless it is on the order of every 2 minutes (I had that happen to me once, in a Pizza Hut during lunch hour of all times, and it was literally every 2 minutes). I just don’t understand people who would freely admit being given a mini-dissertation in excruciating detail on the restaurant’s daily specials. I would prefer to be given a handout of the daily specials with brief descriptions of what they all entail. If I want to know all the details on that pumpernickel demi-glace on that chicken, I’ll ask.,
I hate it when you ask them for the recipe for the chili bean soup and they go ask the manager, and then they come back and say the manager told them he’s not allowed to give out the recipe for the chili bean soup.
Seriously, what the fuck, corporate bean counters? Do you think I’m going to go off and start my own restaurant, with a stolen soup recipe?
My god, you must be as ancient as I am. The idea that customers should be allowed the quiet enjoyment of food and conversation seems headed the way of the dodo.
For reasons I couldn’t guess at, intrusive service seems to be what marketing research says people want these days. The waitstaff didn’t invent (and probably dislikes) those speeches - they are a carefully crafted ploy, designed at a high level and no doubt at considerable corporate expense.
No shit. Fuck your speech, I want to order. I called Round Table the other day and the poor girl had to read a goddamn book to me before I could speak. I seriously had time to think twice about hanging up on her before she was done. She finished just in time, and I gave her my best impression of The Dude: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Can I just place an order for takeout?” And it’s not just restaurants. I don’t want to join your supersaver club, you can’t have my fucking email address, and you can stick your stamps, your ice, and your batteries right up your manager/corporate speechwriter’s ass.
You should’ve put her to the test with a few seafood stumpers. Expert, eh? Let’s see you sweat a few pointed questions about crustacean biology and fish migration patterns, professor!
From my limited experience: no, they’re fibbing; they can’t tell you simply because they don’t know, as the soup comes frozen in concentrate-bricks from their supplier (or from HQ if they’re part of a chain).
We don’t get so much of the ‘prepared speech’ thing here, for which I am very grateful. Waiters just tend to seat you, take your orders and then bring the food.
That’s assuming that the noise level in the restaurant is low enough even to permit conversation. A group of us from work went out for lunch last Friday. We went to an old favourite, only to find that it had had a makeover: new minimalist decor, combined with noisy music. We sat down, but simply couldn’t hear each other speaking. We asked for the music volume to be turned down, but our request was refused. We left.
That was me, once upon a time, at my first “real job” (not babysitting or working for family). Only I was the takeout girl at Big Boy. It was 26 years ago, but I still remember the Godawful spiel:
“Good evening. Thank you for calling Marc’s Home of the Big Boy, Northland Avenue. This is Scarlett, how may I help you?” Even without specials, it was a mouthful.
I did ask about this, and the waitress told me there are actually two tests required to work at Red Lobster.
They give a general aptitude test before hiring, which she said includes some math. Once hired, they have to pass a test on the food they serve, thus qualifying as a “seafood expert”.
I asked to see a copy of the seafood test, but it was not forthcoming. If I ever go back, I’ll press them for it again.
I used to enjoy going to Red Lobster. It’s adequate since I can’t get much good seafood around here. And maybe I’m getting old and cranky, but this corporate-speak bullshit makes me want to stay away. I want to punish companies that force that kind of nonsense on their employees and customers.
We hate them even more than you do, but we are required to do it. At least at my place, we have some leeway with it. All we have to do is suggest a drink, app, main dish, and desert by name, and make sure to say our name and thank then and say goodbye when we drop off the check. There’s no “set script” we all have to follow, so it differs at least a little bit from person to person.
Hell, most of us don’t do most of it anyway, unless we think you might be a “shopper” (ie, someone who is there to test how good the restaurant is, and provide a report of their experience to the corporate office.)