Not sure if this is the right place for this thread…my topic is somewhat connected to cuisine, so I chose here…but the mods will have the final call.
To the main topic…in the past weeks I have had the experience of dealing with restaurant servers who think they need to be creative or funny when serving their customers. Just recently, I asked for a refill of my beverage at a restaurant, and the server says 'Oh, I will think about it".
Then, there are the servers who can’t resist a running commentary of the meal. Recently, after I selected from a variety of sodas, the server says “SOLD to the customer in booth 10!”. Then I asked for a refill, and he says “we have a thirsty customer in booth 10”. Finally, he brings dinner and bellows “LET THERE BE DINNER!”
Then the absolute worst occurs when I am out with friends. The server makes a dumb joke about having A.D.D…I didn’t laugh, and the server says, " no drinks for the last to get the joke", to which I replied “That’s enough of that, sir!”
To be clear, 95% per cent of the servers I encounter do a great job, and I try to tip accordingly…however, I am wondering if there are others who have experience with comical servers as well.
Waiting tables has long been a “temporary” vocation for actor/entertainer-types waiting for their big break, or at least that is the stereotype. Probably true in places like Manhattan, LA, Vancouver, Chicago (?), and other big cities with a large entertainment industry presence, probably much less so most other places.
I appreciate a server with a sense of humor. When we asked to charge our party’s meals to our room on Christmas Eve, the waiter’s response was “Charged to the Underhill account?”
The women didn’t get it, but the men cracked up. That comment alone boosted his tip 10%.
At the risk of sounding like a snob, when I go out to eat, I want a server to be attentive, accurate, and largely absent. I have no problems with exchanging pleasantries while placing our order, but I’m not looking for a friend or an entertainer. Whether I’m with my husband or with a group, the meal is about our group, not the restaurant’s employees. A single lighthearted comment is one thing, an ongoing routine is another.
I’m really not as arrogant as that sounds. At the places we patronize frequently, we’ve developed relationships with certain servers, and we’ll chat about more personal things, but after a few minutes, it’s back to a business relationship. And I’m a pretty generous tipper, so I’m guessing that’s why we’re treated well as regulars.
I get that a lot of servers have a slash in their biographies (like actor/server, writer/bartender, student/peon) but a big part of that adventure/education they’ve embarked on is being sensitive to The Feedback Loop.
I capitalised it because it’s so important (yet so rare, at least in my family). It’s that circuit in your brain that says “Okay, I just made a small trial humorousque comment. DID THEY ENJOY IT? If yes, insert another small comment later in the evening. If no, shut up and do your job.”
I’m amazed how many people lack The Feedback Loop. Clueless guy trying to impress smart girl, teacher who’s totally confused the class, dad alienating kid, and my racist mom (“I was just making a joke, why is everyone looking at me like I’m the nigger in the woodpile?”).
At a fast food joint I frequent, there is a legit funny counter person. I mean he sings orders comments on peoples looks and makes a joke about almost anything. When you give your order you give your name, if it is in any song, he immediately sings that song. I am pretty sure he is not harboring an idea to go to Hollywood. ( he is a long way from there, if he is ). He is sort of a local celeb though. It doesn’t bother most people. I am sure he has had some weird responses. I say the more levity in the world the better, if it gets in the way of carrying out their job, then that is different.
For what it’s worth, if I were eating with you, I’d be more annoyed at your snippiness with the server than any of the comments from them that you shared.
I appreciate customers who give the benefit of the doubt to me and when I am eating out, I prefer to extend the same to my server. Plus, it means I can luxuriate in my magnanimity the rest of the evening.
I’m generally OK with most of the things servers do. I eat out a lot, and often at the same places, so I’ve gotten to know lots of servers, and it’s actually kind of nice to chat with them. I don’t mind the lame joke now and then. The one thing I don’t like, and this applies to everyone, is when they interrupt you, literally, in mid sentence. I’m surprised how often this happens-- I’ll be talking to my dinner companion and the server will walk up, interrupt, and ask if everything is OK. But like I said, this has nothing to do with servers, per se, but general good manners to not interrupt people for trivial reasons when they are in mid conversation. I wouldn’t do it to someone else, so I don’t like ti being done to me.
I happen to run a business myself. There’s nothing wrong with a little levity. I’ve used humor often myself, with both co-workers and customers. That said, I try to treat my customers–who basically pay my salary—like adults. If they make a request of me, I would never reply “I’ll think about it”, as if I will get around to it when I feel like it.
I’ve often chatted with servers. I like most of the ones I come in contact with. However, there’s a point where with some it becomes overkill. An occasional funny comment is fine…I have no problem with that…but does there need to be commentary on every event that happens while you are seated at a table? After awhile, it becomes too much.
Plus, in my OP, I noted a server who made a joke about Attention Deficit Disorder, which was–to be kind–completely unnecessary. Then to add to the problem, he singled me out in front of my friends for not laughing. Were I in a situation with my customers, I wouldn’t kid about A.D.D., and I certainly wouldn’t call out one out of a group for not laughing at something I might have said. That’s a good way to lose business.
“Good evening, folks. You know why the Canadian gymnast stretched before his routine, dontcha? Better safe than sore-y. Ha, but I jest. I’m Canadian, I can say that. What can I get for you folks tonight?”