restaurant serving etiquette

Suppose two diners go into a restaurant for dinner (let’s just suppose they do). After one diner finishes the meal should to server (1) clear that plate to make more room on the table or (2) wait until the second diner finishes to clear all plates so the slower diner doesn’t feel rushed?

I’d go for A). Clear the plate of the finished diner so that he/she doesn’t have to deal with the plate while conversing with their compatriot.

“A” is what I have experienced at most restaurants I’ve been to.

“A” is correct. There is no good reason to leave dirty dishes in front of someone.

“A”? I didn’t think “A” was a choice!

I too think “1” would be the way to go. In order to avoid the slower diner feeling rushed, the quicker diner should probably moderate their intake so that they finish somewhere close to the same time (assuming slow diner isn’t being unreasonably slow.)

Good advice. Thank you. :slight_smile:

Sometimes you just end up with a different setup than the other person though. You may have a small side salad that cam with your entree and eat it first while the other person has only their entree. There are lots of instances of that type of thing that can happen especially at a fancy restaraunt where many different plates are used.

I am probably wrong but I think 1) is very rude. I would rather not feel the waiter was in a giant hurry for me to finish.

Why would you feel that, if the server waited until you were done to take the plate?

I suppose you might feel rushed if the server asked if you were done while you still had food on your plate, or was hovering around looking like they wanted to snatch it. (I’ve had both happen.) But if they wait until you are clearly finished, there shouldn’t be a problem.

In any case, “1” is what is usually done in the better restaurants I’ve been to.

Like I said, I am probably wrong (it happens frequently) but I hate feeling hovered over. If the waiter takes the first diners plate while I am still eating I would feel rushed.

Perhaps I just have no class, actually this is most likely. :slight_smile:

Never ever clear until they’re all finished.

Although I recollect from other threads that there’s an America/Europe divide over this.

Doesn’t bother me either way. I don’t like feeling “hovered over” either, but if there’s a dirty plate on the table, and the waiter is happening by, he or she is not doing the job properly if it is left there. It’s not nearly as bad as the meals arriving out of synch. Or being the last in a restaurant and having the waiters fussing about removing the things from the other tables, and generally making you feel like you’re being shooed out of the place.

This happenned to me yesterday. My aunt is elderly and a very slow eater. I am neither - and the food doesn’t stay hot that long anyway. The server asked if she could take my plate.

After working as a server and a manager in a fine dining restaurant for years, I would have to chime in- it depends. I worked in an “old school” restaurant- meaning that you follow the "rules of yesteryear… If the first person finished was a woman (and the other is a man)- you do not clear their plate, as it might make them feel like they rushed through their meal. If the first person done is a man (and the other is a woman)- you still do not clear their plate, as it might make the woman feel rushed to finish. If both diners are of the same gender- clear away!
You will find that, most of the time, if someone wants their plate cleared, they will move it to the side, push it towards you, hand it to you, or ask for their plate to be cleared. They may even (gasp!) put their napkin on top of it signaling for the plate to be cleared (you should clear the napkin and the plate, and give them a clean napkin to replace it).
Those are my recommendations…

The diner is supposed to signal being finished with his/her meal by placing fork and knife on the plate approximately parallel to each other and then leaving the plate alone. When this is done, the waiter is aware that the plate may be removed.

A courteous waiter will, in the absence of this signal, observe Diner A evidently completed with his entrée, and come to the table, asking “May I clear this out of your way?” as a part of serving the table, with other question of, “Would you care to see the dessert menu/cart now?” or “Would you care for an after-dinner drink/some/more coffee?” or whatever is appropriate to the situation.

The context should always make it clear that the waiter’s overt intent is for the comfort of his patrons – whether or not he may have any other motives. Removal of the plate is ostensibly for the comfort of the patron who is finished with it, as opposed to whatever the restaurant or the waiter may want.

I’ve always thought it just slightly rude to remove one’s plates while the other is eating. The better the service and restaurant, the less frequent this happens too. There’s one notable exception that I haven’t seen mentioned. Is that that doesn’t apply when it’s a small table with too many plates. I had korean with some friends and we ordered apps, entrees, and had drink glasses. On top of that, this korean restaurant served their entrees with lots of side dishes for the table to share. It was a sea of plates that our courteous waitress kept attentive to when they could be cleared to make more room. A good waiter/waitress should be able to pick up on the signals by the customers and be as “psychic” as possible.

Here’s a tip from a website about serving ettiquette

In less formal restaurants another acceptable tactic is to take the empty plate but tell the person still eating, “Take your time”, “There’s no hurry”, etc… But if you’re working at Le Maison de la Tete D’or, which charges $150 per entree and requires coat & tie, that probably wouldn’t work.

Yep. As a Brit living in America, I can confirm this. American restaurants normally clear the empty plate, British ones wait until they are all finished. I don’t mind either way. When I first came to the US, I was tempted to ask if they were running short of plates in the back, but I got used to it.

FWIW in her column Miss Manners once deplored the practice of clearing plates before all were finished. Can’t cite a publication date, though.

I don’t mind if my plate (or my dining companion’s) is removed before the other is finished (especially if the plate has been pushed away or the silverware placement signal has been used), but what I do think is rude is if a server brings the next course (or asks “would you like coffee or dessert?”) for one diner before the other’s plate is cleared (i.e. before they’re finished eating).