Resume of a Drug Lord

Still being a bit of a newbie and not yet having figured out the nuances of what threads should go where, I’m not sure if this will wind up in GD, but figured to start with it’s more of an IMHO thread. Shoot me if I’m wrong.

The other day at work, a friend emailed me a scan of an “Employment Wanted” classified ad from the Toronto Financial Post, Feb 23, 2001. I have quoted it here and can email the actual scan to anyone who wants it.

"Having successfully completed a ten year sentence, incident-free, for importing 75 tons of marijuana into the United States, I am now seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and my family

Business Experience: Owned and operated a successful fishing business - multi-vessel, one airplane, one island and processing facility. Simultaneously owned and operated a fleet of tractor-trailer trucks conducting business in the western United States. During this time, I also co-owned and participated in the executive level management of 120 people worldwide in a successful pot smuggling venture with annuities in excess of US$100 million annually. I took responsibility for my own actions and received a ten-year sentence in the United States while others walked free for their cooperation.

Attributes: I am an expert in all levels of security; I have extensive computer skills, am personable, outgoing, well educated, reliable, clean and sober. I have spoken in schools for thousands of kids and parent groups over the past ten years on “the consequences of choice” and received public recognition from the RCMP for community service. I am well traveled and speak English, French and Spanish. References available from friends, family, the U.S. District Attorney, etc."

We kicked this around the office a bit, comparing it to our own resumes, rather pathetic by comparison, and wondered, “would you hire this person for an executive position”? (Assuming of course, that your company would have a use for someone with the outlined skills). The general consensus was split about 80/20, for and against. Personally, I was for it not without reservation, as I find demonstrated skill and experience to be much more valuable than a degree, and “past be damned the bill was paid”. I’m curious to see what the folks here would think.

If I was the boss looking at the resume (and I think this is some sort of Urban Legend as I have heard of this before), I would match him with other canidates with similar experience or schooling. It takes a lot to run a drug business (I refuse to talk about that…), so I can see how he would do well in legitimate business.

I think it is a real resume. Here is a scanned image that I got in an email.

I’d hire him in a heartbeat. You can’t beat that level of honesty. Besides, I’m sure that running a drug-smuggling business is every bit as complicated as (probably moreso) running a legitimate business.

The ad is very real. There was actually a front-page spread on the guy in The National Post.

I’d hire him.

With all the publicity this has recieved, I wonder if anybody’s hired him yet.