My first post as a member! Welcome me, people, or I shall get to some smiting.
On to the subject of the post: let’s talk about retcons you would really like to have happen but know never shall, for whatever reason. I have a list of ten to start with.
Kryptonians look nothing like humans, at least not in their native environment. When the rocketship holding baby Kal-El arrived on Earth, Kal-El immediately “imprinted” with the genome of the species that opened his vessel, a la Marrina in Alpha Flight. This would, of course, require Jonathan Kent to be significantly more studly than he’s usually drawn.
After Luke Spencer raped Laura in that disco in 1980-whatever, she clocked him so hard on the head that he went into a coma. All his subsequent adventures of dreams in that coma. 'Cause women don’t fall in love with their rapists or marry them voluntarily.
One night between Superman’s death in Superman#75 and his rebirth in the “Return of Superman” storyline, Wonder Woman went to Metropolis to see if Lois needed rescuing, because, well, Lois is Lois. Ms. Lane reacted badly at first, as she’d always seen Diana as her greatest rival for Clark’s affection. Diana, attempting to prove that she wasn’t in love with Clark, offered to let Lois interrogate her with the golden lasso. In the process, she admitted she was always more attracted to Supergirl.
There’s never a number four in my lists.
In a grief-stricken, alcohol-fueled indiscretion, Lois and Diana did it immediately after the events chronicled in #3.
Jim Gordon knows who Batman is under the mask. He’s known since Year One. He simply pretends not to so he has the advantage of surprise in case he ever has to take Bruce down.
Each episode of Star Trek: The Original Series (including the movies) takes place in its own unique alternate universe, similar but slightly different from the other episodes’. Star Treks II, III, IV, and VI all take place in the same continuity as “Space Seed,” but otherwise there is very little continuity.
Buffy never came back from the dead the second time. The latter two seasons of BTVS were a trial she was undergoing in Purgatory to expiate her feelings of sinfulness before she got into heaven.
Xander called off the wedding because he was beginning to suspect that he was a little gay.
Batman once showed in Marvel NY when an interdimensional rift had sucked the Joker out of Gotham City. Spider-Man, already in pursuit of the Mad Clown, ran into Batman as he was torturing criminals to find out where the Joker was. When Batman insisted that it was his way or the highway, Peter kicked the living crap out of him and threw him back through the rift. Bruce magically healed the way he always does, studied up on Spider-Man to prepare himself, and went back through the rift. Peter had just caught the Joker at that point, and he tossed both the bat and the clown through the rift–but not before he kicked the crap out of Batman again.
In X-men #67, Professor X stayed dead. The X-men found some other way to defeat the Z’noxx.
I don’t recall which issue of The Fantastic 4 it occurred in, but Mr. Fantastic was almost lost in the Negative Zone. It would’ve been interesting to see how the team develoed with him no longer in charge.
What if the baby in the rocket from Krypton had been female and the rocket had landed in the 1920s. Would there then have been a feminist revolution in the 1940s?
If Captain America had stayed frozen would the Avengers have folded up shop in issue #15?
Glory bled Dawn to death and opened the portal to her hellworld.
I’d change that a bit - Giles disregarded Buffy’s tantrum about no one hurting Dawn and brought a rifle, and when the ritual began, shot Dawn between the eyes himself, setting up a truly interesting sixth season with Buffy out for revenge on Giles.
I love Batman. I just don’t like the current omnipotent asshole Batman. I want a Batman who (very) occasionally screws up, who can’t handle every single threat conceivable, who doesn’t know the future and is thus able have an anti-transexual dancing dwarf spray in his utility built in case he finds himself in the kingdom of transexual dancing dwarves. Dwarsfs. Whatever.
In my spare time I’m writing a “Batman gets a clue” story.
Instead of attacking Willow blatantly a she did in Season 7, young, and very tasty witch, Amy seduces Willow and then insinuates herself into the Scoobies to destroy her from with. Sabotaging Willow at every possible turn, Willow quits the Scoobies and returns to England to try fo find out what went so awry rather than giving in to Dark Willow again.
I’m willing to bet that I am the only Dopester who gives a damn but…
Quicksilver (you know son of Magneto and brother of the Scarlet Witch) had his own series for awhile during the whole Heroes Reborn thing. The first arc was pretty forgetful since it tried to work in the most unexciting elements of the character’s background and gave him the silliest supporting cast (The Knights of Wundagore) after it realized that the series should focus on the fact that Quicksilver is tightly linked to the Inhumans and the Mutant community it got much better. Toward the end of the series the new writer revamped the nature of Quicksilver’s powers. He wasn’t a speedster, he had power of time. He only had learned to use his powers to simulate super speed.
The series ended with Quicksilver just starting to try develop his real powers.
Kurt Busiek tossed that out when he revamped the Avengers. And no one has dealt with it since.
I want it brought back since it puts Quiksilver on the same power level as his dad and sister.
It would have made perfect sense to do when the X-men were doing the whole Second Mutation angle.
Hmm…this is mutating into “change the storyline” instead of “retconning.” But whatever.
The direction I’d have taken the Dark Willow plot was a mite simpler. When Giles returned to the magic shop to save the day, and Buffy was explaining how Willow wasn’t really evil, just addicted to magic, he should have rattled off all the evil things Willow had done over the years, progressing from minor mischief to selfish to outright right bastard villainy. Which would have prompted Buffy to say, “Crap.”
And Willow would have stayed evil and become the big bad of season seven.