Ooops – I meant to add that I am glad you are feeling better about it all, duffer. We’ve all had the whacky family issues to deal with…probably the ones who haven’t are the cavedwellers, not you.
(bolding mine)
In this case, duffer, may I suggest that as a part of your discussion with your wife you both agree that from now on, for new expenses (you know, the stuff you don’t already have in the budget) over a certain amount need to be signed for by both of you. Therefore, if you want to buy a new ratchet set, let’s say, you can’t get it unless your wife goes along. If she wants to get a new wardrobe, you have to be there. That way, she can just keep telling brother the next time he tries crap like this, “Oh, I’m sorry, I just can’t do that without duffer. We’ve agreed that we both need to be here to discuss this sort of thing.”
YES it sounds like a bit of a pain in the butt, but it’s really not. DogDad and I have been doing this for YEARS - not because either one of us is inclined to suddenly buy something hideously expensive or forget to tell the other that we bought a new phone for someone, but because it gives us an opportunity to discuss the impending purchase and whether or not
A) We really need it and
B) We can either make do with what we have or otherwise reduce the cost.
It just prevents a LOT of spending-based friction.
I’ve got a friend going through the beginnings of a divorce from her dead-beat husband.He has a mobile phone with an $80/month plan. She called T-Mobile who the plan is through and had the phone switched to a $20/month plan and its service suspended. It saved her from the big cancellation fee that was on the plan.
Moreover, coming from someone who had an almost $2000.00 phone bill from Sprint one time (I had my lawyer write up a letter telling them to fix the bill and it got reduced by 50%), I’d suggest getting rid of one of (at least) one of the BiL phones. Nothing worse than having some large bills in your name that aren’t yours or your spouse’s.