I loved it. The charge of the Rohirrim is my favorite scene, and I was sobbing all the way through. Yes, I would have preferred to see the Witch King at the gate, turned back by the sound of great horns of the North, wildly blowing. But this was good enough.
On the Eowyn/Aragorn/Arwen issue, I’m female, and I have a slightly different take. Yes, Eowyn rocked. She was raised as a shield maiden, and forced to babysit, and came through like a, a, well, like a true daughter of Rohan. There is a scene in the Houses of Healing (that was very cleverly moved to TTT in the movie) wherein it is made clear that Theoden wasn’t the only victim of Wormtongue’s evil. He got his hooks into her as well, and her heart and mind were poisoned. Her infatuation with Aragorn is a symptom of that poisoning. She sees him as a way out of her horrid, dreary dull life, and the fact that she sees her life like that is the evil that has been done to her. (Part of what Tolkien is trying to say, I think, is about the wonder and sanctity of everyday life, with it’s little routines and commonplace pleasures. Adventure and glory are fine, but only as a response to dire evil, not as good in themselves. But I digress.) As was said above, she doesn’t really know him, they are utterly different in age and temperment, but she is desparate. It is a sign of her underlying good character that she accepts his rejection, doesn’t argue or beg or follow him pathetically, but resolves to die in the best way possible.
Aragorn sees her infatuation for what it is. What would we think of him if he took advantage of a vulnerable girl? Should he walk away from someone else (of whom Eowyn knows nothing, good or bad) just because she is convenient? It speaks well for him that he is honest with her from the first, and makes it clear, gently and kindly, that he has other commitments.
Yeah, I think Arwen is pointless as written. The wedding is a total anticlimax. But one should keep in mind that JRRT was essentially a Victorian romantic when it came to women.
And, from my reading, Tolkien’s relationship with his wife was like that. He met her when he was a teenager and she was only a girl, and fell madly in love. (Background: his widowed mother had converted to Catholicism, along with her sons, been disowned by her family and died in poverty and suffering that could have been avoided. All his life, JRRT saw her as a martyr to the faith. He and his brother were raised by a Catholic priest whom she had appointed his guardian, a man whom JRRT respected and admired.) Because the object of his affection was Protestant, his guardian forbade him to see her or contact her until he was 25, thinking this would put an end to the romance. Tolkien wrote her on his 25th birthday, and they married soon after. He adored her, and said repeatedly that both Luthien and Arwen were modelled on his wife. So whatever was going on there, long separation and longing from afar were a key part of it. Think of the whole relationship as a love letter to his own wife, and it helps.
And, in case I didn’t mention it, I loved the movie.
