LOL - that definitely wouldn’t have worked. I always thought the Scouring of the Shire was extraneous and rather hokey, and I’m glad PJ left it out.
I didn’t think it was hokey, but incredibly poignant. However, it was incredibly rushed in the book, and many things were very much glossed over (like the fact that 50 some hobbits were killed!). It’s a post-climactic event, taking place well after the high point of the story - an element that just would never work on film.
Eagles are apparently direct messengers of the Valar (the “gods”–direct superiors of the wizards) and don’t take orders from anyone else. Eagles only make 3 appearances in LOTR – rescuing Gandalf from Saruman, getting Gandalf the White off the mountain after he’s reborn; and rescuing Frodo & Sam.
Don’t ask “why didn’t the eagles just take the ring to Mt. Doom?”…part of the answer is “because there wouldn’t have been a story”.
My general review: Fabulous. Almost too much to take in at one showing, so I expect to see it several more times in the theater, if my butt can take it.
So much has already been discussed here, I’ll only try to mention a few small (uncovered?) things I liked:
Frodo swatting at imaginary things as he walked through Mordor, while Sam looks on, worried. What a good method of cinematically showing the last stages of exhaustion and delirium without having to specifically state it.
Gandalf clocking Denethor. From the first time I read the book, I’ve wished someone would do this. When it happened, I involuntarily said “Thank you!” in the theater. Handy thing, that white staff - Gandalf seems to mostly use it to whack erring leaders into good sense. There’s nothing like magic!
Gandalf and Pippin galloping up, up and up the circling avenues of Minas Tirith.
The toning down of Gimli the comic relief dwarf, and giving Pippin more comic lines instead. Going into the theater, I was muttering, “If Gimli says anything about getting tossed again, I hope someone puts him in a trebuchet and he gets his wish.”
I didn’t cry throughout as I expected to. I only cried at one point: when the assembled people kneeled to the hobbits after Aragorn said, “My friends - you bow to no one.”
Just back from seeing.
The obligatory list of minor quibbles:
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I’d have liked some more eagles. Now we just get a few pansy eagles pestering the Nazgul, so Pippin/Merry’s (I tend to confuse the two, forgive me) cry of “Eagles!” seems a bit useless. Then again, it doesn’t really work as well as it should without Hobbit’s “Eagles” scene.
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A dire miss, which would have been easy to do - “Preee-ciiii-ooouuss… fwoowf”
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Denethor’s death was a bit dodgy, especially with Gandalf pushing him into the pyre.
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Shelob… I agree, I agree, she was fine, but she could have been just a wee bit bigger. I know, I know…
However, I didn’t miss the House of Healing, and I definitely didn’t miss the Scouring of the Shire. I liked it in the book, but in the movie, it wouldn’t have worked. Three words - Big Fat Anticlimax. Big… Fat… Anticlimax. On this issue, I feel, the Tolkien purists are completely wrong.
And honestly, do the people who cry ‘hokey CGI’ at every opportunity go to the movies just to analyze the computer effects? The Oliphant-killing Legolas scene, for instance, was just perfect, as was Gimli’s rejoinder. Only thing that could have been done a bit better was the Ring’s actual destruction in the lava.
Ha! I did the exact same thing!
Actually, that’s realistic. In a “real” medieval battle, the side that wins is able to recover a very high % of it’s original forces, whilst the losing side gets screwed. In other words, if you win, the guys that are only wounded or just knocked down get to recover if you win, but not if you lose. The % differences in KIA’s between winners & losers during the “sword & bow” period is unbelieveable. Look at the numbers for Agincourt for example, or several of the big Roman battles.
(Note- the battle of hastings was remarkable in that not only did many die on both sides, but that it took all day. Basicly, you can consider hastings to be several/many smaller battles, and it see-sawing back & forth, with both sides winning & losing).
Back to the Movie. I got all sniffly at the same scene as Pugluvr- ie when Aragorn tells them they “bow to no one”.
I only had one quibble meself. Hvaing seen the EE TT version- with the Entdraughts- I thought it odd that Merrry & Pippen weren’t taller than Sam & Frodo. They should have been about 6" taller, I think.
I think PJ’s version of entdraughts wears off. In TT EE, the last (extended) scene of Merry & Pippin wading through the floatsam & jetsam at Isengard–Merry is sizing himself against Pippin and says something to the effect that things are back to normal.
Probably more practical this way – otherwise they’d have to do all the scale tricks when M&P are near Frodo & Sam, in addition to all the ones they did between hobbits & men/elves. PJ probably just said “screw it–they’re all the same size”.
I thought Merry’s “back to normal” phrase was in regards to his height compared to Pippin’s. He’s taller than Pippin again, which is how it was before Pippin had the entdraught and stretched.
I do agree though that they weren’t filmed as taller at the end of the movie for practical reasons. Too bad…it would have been a nice little touch to the whole thing.
I wasn’t saying the SCOURING was hokey, I was saying the name “Sharkey” sounds hokey in this setting.
Wow.
One quibble: Why did Gandalf, Wielder of the Flame of Anor, pyrotechnician extraordinaire, and bearer of Narya The Great, send Pippin up to light the bonfire? He could have ignited it with a glance…
(I kept flashing on “The Wizard of Oz.” At Minas Morghul I thought “Now the flying monkeys should appear” and the flying wraith showed up; I could swear the Witch-king of Angmar was saying “Ohhh – you cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting! Melting! Oh – what a world – what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!? Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I’m going. Ohhhh! Ohhhhhh…”; and when Frodo woke up in the House of Healing I expected him to say that he had a strange dream and you , and you , and you where there…)
after reading this whole thing, i see i must have been the only one to think: “he ain’t heavy… he’s my hobbit…” when sam carried frodo.
also i’m a bit confused as to where exactly montana is, in middle earth…
Speculation: He didn’t want to write: “Gandalf is here” in great big letters for the enemy to see.
Of course, his cover was blown when he rode out against the Nazgul. But it’s the only reason I can think of at the moment.
Maybe he just wanted Pippin to feel important?
Maybe he wanted to be secretive? I mean, he was surrounded by soldiers when it went off, I’m sure some of them would be wary if he shot a fireball at the flammables on top of the tower.
Maybe he wanted to be secretive? I mean, he was surrounded by soldiers when it went off, I’m sure some of them would be wary if he shot a fireball at the flammables on top of the tower.
But nobody tosses a…oh, forget it. 
Did I give my verdict on the movie? It was fabulous and wonderful and kicked many asses. I had a couple of quibbles – Denethor’s portrayal was off, and I missed a couple of the things that were cut – but nothing remotely movie-ruining. It was greater (as I said of Fellowship) than the sum of its parts.
Must have been. I certainly wasn’t thinking that. I was chanting in my head, “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!” 
This raises another question - how did Sauraman escape from Isengard to even get to the Shire? Wasn’t he being gaurded by the Ents?
As one would expect of a guy who has a powerful and persuasive voice, he talked his way out. Treebeard felt sorry for him and let him go.
About Gandalf not lighting the beacon with magic–
The beauty of Gandalf’s magic is that he very seldom uses it outright. In fact, the only times he resorts to magic is when there is no other path available. I believe the Valar banned the Istari from using their powers to directly interfere with the happenings in Middle Earth, actually…