Freyr
March 14, 2002, 11:53pm
1
Way back, in the old days, Cecil wrote this column:
Does the Koran Really Promise…
Well, that whole thread was lost to the Great Bit Bucket in the Sky. During the Board’s hiatus, I had this emailed to me. I thought it worth sharing. Note, original author unknown. This came to me thru the 'Net. Your milage may vary.
After getting caught in a Daisy Cutter’s blast, Osama Bin Laden made his way to Heaven. As he steps through the gate he is confronted by a large man in a blue and tan uniform. “How dare you attack the nation I sacrificed so much of my life for!” yells George Washington, and delivers a ferocious backhand to Bin Laden’s forehead knocking him to the ground.
Bin Laden struggles to his knees, when he is driven face forward into the ground by a tremendous kick to the backside, “You tried to deprive Americans of their liberty, so they deprived you of your life, sir!” announces Patrick Henry.
James Madison comes up in front of Bin Laden, and says “This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!” He grabs Bin Laden’s beard, and drives a knee into his cheekbone knocking him to the ground again.
Osama is subject to similar attacks from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe, and other men who have the same love for liberty and America.
As he writhes on the ground after an unusually savage kick to the groin (this from Light Horse Harry Lee wearing his cavalry boots), he is picked up by Generals Lewis Amistead and Robert E. Lee who force him to bend over, and a conga line forms and each of the men dance by and kick Bin Laden in the rear end.
At the end of this treatment he is dragged to the gate of heaven, and ejected by Thomas Jefferson.
As Osama is dragged to the gates of hell by angry angels who buffet and revile him. He screams “What is this, why am I being treated this way, I had expected better!”
An angel replies “God warned Mohammed that heartless terrorist bastards like you would be met at the gates of heaven by 72 Virginians; if he didn’t copy it down correctly that’s your problem!”
Ahhahahahahaha! That was great!
(guffaw) Thank you, Freyr .
Robin Williams did a stand-up show in L.A. a few nights ago. He revealed that the seventy-two virgins awaiting “martyrs” are actually…
…Catholic school teachers.
Osama, meet Sister Mary Mike Ditka.