A lesbian trucker named Pike
Had a job that she just didn’t like.
“I am, as my Jill knows,
Delivering dildos -
Which makes me a fake-dick van dyke.”
correction:
There once was a fellow from Tripoli
Who liked to make love rather nippily.
Complained one young lass
(While rubbing her ass):
“Less teethily, please, and more lippily!”
.
.
.
.
.
I must say that I’m truly impressed.
'Mongst writers, y’all rank with the best
Of lim’rickal skill
(Be it poetry or swill)…
The readers are cursed, but you’re blessed.
Love to All,
TN*hippie
I sent this in email to galen ubal, but far be it from me to let him get the last word publicly:
Forsooth, fellow user, you test me.
My fingers still strain to divest me
Of rhythm and rhyme
Nearly all of the time
With restraint, my good parents have blessed me.
With this follow-up…
Chef Troy, TN*hippie and all
It’s good that you’ve answered the call.
Though TN done made it
And Cheffie done slayed it
The gold goes to galen ubal
A side note to beloved Chef Troy
Whose antics I always enjoy:
That last contribution
Of skilled elocution
Had a pun that made me groan “Oy!”
Peace,
TN*hippie
I have some more puns here for you -
A dozen, in fact, minus two…
I thought at least one
might make people run
But no pun in ten did, so whew!
This thread is infested with crazies.
The lim’ricks are sprouting like daisies.
My poor tortured mind
Has fallen behind
And lagged in the back with the lazies.
But still you can’t say that I’m shirking
Or skirting the issue by lurking.
I work from a truck
So I’m just out of luck,
'Cause I can’t be online when I’m working.
And thus, it turned out, Hamadryad
And galen both went somewhat “rhyme mad.”
They hijacked this thread
With lim-er-icks dread
And forced me to write this lame triad.
Spring’s lovely, with this no one can’t agree,
When buds and shoots on every plant are free
And birdlets are squawking,
So let’s spoil it by walking
On foot all the way out to Canterbury.
-G. Chaucer, Prologue
There once was a woman named Kate,
Who had a date with the coroner at eight,
But on the way to the lab,
She was hit by a cab.
The poor girl arrived doublely late.
There once was a lady named Venus,
Who had a strap - on - able penis.
She played with her toys,
On both girls and boys,
(I hope no one’s seen us!)
What’s wrong with our verse, Hamadryad?
There’s no need to be quite so snyad!
So what if our sport
Falls a little bit short;
At least we can say that we tryad!
There once was a girl named Canthearya,
Who’d run from you if she got nearya.
She’d scream, “Go away!”
But El Hubbo, he stayed.
'Cause smiling, she said, “I don’t fearya.”
Canthearya, I know what you’re saying
And it’s not a game that I’m playing.
My honey, with pride
Has stuck by my side
And he claims that is where he is staying.
It’s not that I’m swishy or girly
It’s not that my hair’s really curly
I think when I pass
And I twitch my fine ass
His brain simply goes ‘loopty-swirly!’
A hippie who now lives in the hills
Smoked, drank, sniffed, shot up, popped pills.
But he’s finally learning
(Though his brain is still burning)
That there’s no future in chemical thrills.
Love to All,
TN*“if it feels good, abuse it”*hippie
Hippy, How you been?
There once was a tailor named Quade
Who fashioned a doll out of suade
But he could not resist
The passive young miss
He made sure that she was tailor-laid
A viril young steed named DeGaul
Would look for a meyer in each stall
He said “if I don’t get stuck,
And with any luck,
I’ll be happy to service them all!”
(an answer to trade)
The hipster is doing okay
But his love life is still kinda gray.
I had moments erotic
With a bleedin’ psychotic…
Would I do better if I just went and turned gay?
hard ‘n’ plenty,
TN*hippie
This is an old one, but it is original. I provide it for the amusement of newer Dopers.
There once was a fun-loving fellow
Who drank lots of booze to stay mellow.
He got many a date
But they rarely stayed late–
His liver was hard, but his lover was Jell-O.
Love to All,
TN*hippie
There once was a Hippy who claimed
For his love life had turned rather lame
'Tis better my brother
to be without another
Than be with one who makes you insane
So the Hippy decided one day
That he may be better off gay
Take a bloke, not a lass?
On this I will ask:
Just why is it better that way?
Here’s one I came up with in high school…
There was a young man named Armano
Who decided straight sex was bird guano
So he found a good friend
And plugged up his end -
Now they both prefer mano a mano.
Good one, Ham.
My answer to trade:
Switching teams is not what I’ve planned,
For I do find women quite grand–
But I’ve known masturbation
For such a duration,
I’m used to the touch of male hand.
Love to All,
TN*hippie
This morning I rose early from bed
To rush off to work (get ahead).
But I’m not at my job–
This pitiful slob
Is posting drivel on this thread.
Love to All,
TN*hippie