Reverend Moon and the Houston Chronicle

Today in the Houston Chronicle there is a full page ad for the Unification Church (aka “Moonies”). The ad is entirely text, and just quotes religious leaders. Here are some excerpts:

Jesus: Reverend Sun Myung Moon! You are the Second Coming…

Martin Luther: I believe Reverend Sun Myung Moon is the Lord of the Second Advent. I proudly proclaim that the Unification Principle is the new gospel for humanity. I, Martin Luther, pledge that I will believe these truths…

Confucious: …the Reverend Sun Myung Moon as the Savior and Messiah.

St Augustine: …Reverend Sun Myung Moon and I give my oath and pledge…

Muhammad- Since I, Muhammad, enountered the Unification Principle and met the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, my worldview has changed…I cry out: Victory for God! Victory for Reverend Sun Myung Moon, the True Parent, Messiah and Savior!

Karl Marx- I, Marx, affirm God’s existence and that He is the Parent of all humankind…

Stalin- Friends in Communist countries, I am Stalin. You have received wrong thinking…Please receive the will of Reverend Moon completely…

Those are just some highlights. The whole thing is topped off with a Letter from God.

The ad can be found in today’s Houston Chronicle on page 18A of the headlines section. And that, my friends, is how a cult bought a page of a paper to spread their word.

At least he’s not selling Amway products. Then I would question the testimonials.

Waitaminnit, no word fom Albert Einstein?

Heh, check your local paper, the ad might be there. The website claims to have published the ad in all major US papers.

Unfortunately, there was no mention of Alex Chiu’s Immortality Rings, so I’m not convinced of this Moon character. :wink:

You left out a few…

L. Ron Hubbard: “What was I thinking with that Dianetics crud? Moon, Bubby, You are the MAN.”

Moses: “If only I’d had room on the tablets to write that everyone should obey you. Moon, you ROCK!”

Buddha: “Rev. Moon, the next time I get reincarnated, I am DEFINITELY joining your chuch.”

Joseph Smith: “Moon, you rule… I’m with you all the way. Um… all those brides at Madison Square Garden ARE just for me, right?”

Madalyn Murray O’Hair: “Love ya, Moon. If God existed, you’d be Him, I guarantee!”

Cecil Adams: “Eat shit and die, you loser.”

Cecil can’t be bought.

It was in the Topeka Capital-Journal today. Really weird.

Actually, I think the ad was supposed to be for Moon Unit Zappa, and someone at the paper got confused.

I could see it.