Review a movie as if you were Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson, of course, is a character on How I Met Your Mother, portrayed by Doogie Howser. Or possibly Dr. Horrible. It’s hard to keep them straight. Anyways, Barney, in addition to his other – let’s call them special – psychological attributes, has a curious moral inversion when watching movies. He thinks Ralph Macchio played the villain in “The Karate Kid,” for instance, and mourns for the death of the killer robot in the original “Terminator.”

Which brings us to the point of this thread: reviewing movies as if you were Barney. I’ll name a few to get things going, but don’t feel constrained by my choices.

  1. The Dark Knight.
  2. Star Trek II.
  3. Superman II.
  4. Lord of the Rings (any of the Jackson entries).
  5. The Smurfs.

Anybody wanna take a swing?

ETA: Misspelling in thread title already reported.

OK, I’ll play:

Superman II: Meddling angsty orphan spoils military hero’s plans for global unity.

Star Trek II: Kirk blows chance to nail mom from Eight is Enough. Amiright??

Smurfs - “The lead was a great actor, and so good looking!”

“That poor guy in Downfall. I know exactly how he feels.”

Theodore Vivian Mosby! Do you pay attention to ANYTHING I try to teach you?

If you’re going to be me, be me. That means more than rooting for characters misunderstood by sheeple like Lily to be “bad guys.” It means commenting on fashion. It means praising hot chicks, particularly ones like Lois Lane who are too stupid to see through a pair through a glasses. It means explaining how the Kryptonians were following the Bro Code, and yes, that includes Ursa, for as our beloved Robin has shown us, girls can be bros too. And more than anything it means giving high fives.

Try again, woman!

I believe you channeled the man himself. You are ledgen-wait for it and I hope you aren’t lactose intolerant-dary!
(Theodore Vivian Mosby—that was awesome.)

Happy Gilmore My dad beat up Adam Sandler!

Inglorious basterds: Guy with stylish moustache tries to fight terrorists and support the arts, and ultimately suffers a tragic fate when the two threads collide.

Lord of the Rings: In this epic and interesting tale the main character BRRRRAAAAAAPPPP (falls off of chair, Moe can be heard in background)

Oh wait, that’s Barney Gumble.