Review the Oscars Telecast

Cafe Society
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Well, I’m not tired of talking about the Oscars yet, are you? I’ve read most of the other Oscar threads, and even thought the “watch-along” thread may have covered some of these topics, let’s condense it a bit.

The Pre-Game Show

Those Entertainment Tonight nitwits have got to go!! Are these people on the ET show nightly? They were excrutiatingly bad. The dude even did an “Oprah/Uma/Oprah/Uma” bit—awful!!! Oprah’s post-Oscar show today had tons better footage and sound bites than these dim bulbs could come close to. Too bad ABC didn’t use Gayle King to do the pre-show interviews. And E!'s coverage with Joan/Melissa is just too horrible to talk about.

Billy Crystal

Opening sequence was the weakest I have ever seen from him. The funniest part of the “montage” was when Roger Moore got trampled. The rest of it was just painful–seeing Crystal nearly naked makes me long for the days of Janet Jackson’s boob. And why does he insist on the inane songs set to the tune of music from the 1950’s? Why not throw in an Outkast “Hey Ya!” parody song or something more 2003, at least??

Please bring back Steve Martin!

I did think it was cool when the guy who won for best short form documentary (I think) mentioned Billy Crystal was his inspiration for going to film school.

Acceptance Speeches

Worst: Sean Penn–Dude, you just won an Oscar!!! (Awesome, totally awesome!) Can you at least look happy or like you are vaguely interested? And he actually got a standing ovation!! Granted he is a great actor and I really think he deserved the award, but his speech was horrible and brain-dead. You’d think after 4 nominations he would have had something at least mentally prepared.

Best: I liked the director of Finding Nemo. He seemed genuinely happy/excited that he won, very sincerely thanked all his people, then thanked his wife by saying “I wrote it to you in a note in the 8th grade, and now I can say it in front of a billion people: I love you!” That was soooo sweet!!

Presenters

Will Farrell and Jack Black - Funniest
Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson - Most annoying
Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins - Most stylish
Julia Roberts - Great tribute to Kate Hepburn
Liv Tyler - Most nearsighted
Robin Williams - Funny only to Billy Crystal

Catty Fashion Observations

Why did everyone want to be so PALE this year? Nicole Kidman’s dress was great, but she almost looked like a ghost. Same for Renee Z and Charlize. What is so wrong with color? I thought Catherine ZJ, Jamie Lee Curtis and Jennifer Garner all looked great with their bright colors. (BTW Jamie Lee, lipstick helps you look more feminine!)

I liked Diane Keaton’s Annie Hall costume. Don’t quite get the gloves, but on Ms Keaton the whole thing works.

I guess it’s part of his charm, but could someone have not found Peter Jackson a tux that fit? Or at least a SHIRT that fit?

General Observations

Bill Murray and Johnny Depp are such class acts!! It was so cute when the Whale Rider girl got to meet Depp, he was so sweet, all he did was say how great she did and what a big fan he was. Bill Murray just always looks like you want to run up and give him a big bear hug.

The “In Memoriam” was handled very well, I thought. I liked the tributes from Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, but was a little puzzled about the one for Gregory Peck…his was tacked on to the front of the montage of all the other deceased. And who was the guy that gave the tribute?

And where were some of the “heavy hitters” like Barbra Streisand, Redford, Pacino, Dustin Hoffman, Harrison Ford, Liz Taylor, Robert DeNiro, Meryl Streep, etc. I didn’t even see any of them in the audience.

Come on, let’s hear your Oscar Show Critiques!

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Overall it was dull. Everyone was playing it safe; I think they all were afraid of being the first one bleeped.

The opening montage was dreadful. I would willingly have gone my entire life without seeing Billy Crystal naked. The song medley was terrible. There wasn’t something besides Pete Rose that could’ve gone with the Seabiscuit song?

The best animated short winner thanking his boyfriend on stage is the first time anything like that has happened at the Oscars.

The man presenting the Peck tribute IIRC was the president of the Academy. Presumably Peck, as a past president, rated a little extra bit of a tribute.

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Oh, and I hated, hated, hated Diane Keaton’s outfit. Wear a damn dress, Diane. The Annie Hall thing was barely kinda cute 25 years ago. It looked awful.

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I thought Billy Crystal was good once we got past the opening. For heaven’s sake, the show drags as it is, let’s move the opening a bit faster. Best bit- when Crystal and Williams got together and posed as the gay wedding cake topper.

The fashion sucked. Too much white, not enough leg. In a million years I’ll never understand what people see in Nicole Kidman. She’s gotta have the palest and pastiest skin in all the world, plus she wears way too much makeup.

Jim Carrey looked like he just got out of a concentration camp, Bill Murray must have aged 20 years in the last 5. Robin Williams is looking like an undertaker, please grow the hair out, Robin. Johnny Depp I thought looked the best of any male, Sophia Coppola I thought was kinda cute.

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Did ya notice that when Charlize thanked Christina Ricci there was no audience shot of her…was Christina not even there?

I thought Oprah looked horrible in the one shot I saw of her, during Billy Crystal’s “impromtu” bits on whomever the camera “happened” to land on.

Jamie Lee Curtis looked just horrible…very unfinished. You know, the way you look when you go shopping in no make-up, limp hair and try on a fabulous outfit…and you look like crap. Maybe that’s why her husband looked like he wanted to drop dead when she was gushing about him…did any man ever look so not in love?

And I agree…the Annie Hall thing looked dreadful.

Nicole Kidman just never looks good at these award things…always has her hair pulled back too tight, and too blonde. Let loose with some red curls…let Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones show you how it’s done! They looked great!

6

This was the first time I watched the bulk of the Oscars in a long time. Mainly because they actually nominated worthwhile films for the most part.

I tuned in and got the last 3 minutes of the preshow mess. Didn’t that jerk notice the “I’m about to stick that mic where the sun don’t shine” look from people? Don’t ever let something like that happen again.

The opening montage was kinda weak, but as per my post in the Oscar show prediction thread, it was pre-ordained.

The ensuing song part was absolutely awful. Unbearable. Never, ever do that again Billy. Now Jack Black and Will Ferrell, they know how to do funny songs at the Oscars. (Which one of those 2 is going to host the Oscars first?)

It was weird how they bundled up the performances for best song. They should have been more evenly spaced out (and the only “serious” numbers of the night).

Crystal’s running “gag” on thanking everyone in NZ tanked. He clearly knew it wasn’t working halfway thru but since they commit to such a gag for each Oscar, it was deer-in-headlights for him for the rest of the show.

Having actors from the movie introduce the clips for Best Picture is downright weird. Doesn’t work, do something else.

Bill Murray was clearly upset at which clips from LiT were shown. They were background fillers rather than scenes with SJ which is what the movie was really about. It’s like showing only clips from “Jaws” with people having fun on the beach.

The “Starsky and Hutch” plug should never have been allowed. (Note, it is being distributed overseas by Buena Vista, a Disney company, which owns ABC and the Oscars have a big overseas audience. In case you wonder “why?”)

I like that they gave more time for acceptances this year. About time they fixed that.

But it will always be The Oscar Show Where Eugene Levy and Catherine OHara Sang a Duet for me. You just can’t top that.

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They’ve been bundling the songs for a couple of years now I think. Interesting how they broke them into the “serious” song block and the “fun” song block.

I just realized they didn’t have a special “nominated score” moment. Those haven’t been the same since they stopped Debbie Allen from doing those loopy interpretive dance numbers. They used to sometimes do a best costume fashion show; I miss those Oscars!

I think Bill Murray is poised to become the new Jack. For the last few years the hosts fawned over Jack from stage as the apotheosis of cool. Other than the montage Jack was conspicuous in his absence. Bill’s being primed for that role.

8

The show was like Heinz Ketchup: Slooooooooow.

It was a mistake not to limit the time for acceptances (They was no limit for the major awards, though there did seem to be one for the minor ones – but longer than most years). The stage was set up terribly – it took presenters forever to reach the microphone. And, when it was clear the show was running overlong, they showed them announcing earlier awards. The cuts to commercials were long enough to run a commercial or two in them.

I didn’t stay to the end. It went on forever.

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I stayed up till the end. I so wish I hadn’t.

I liked Chrystal mentioning the nipple thing while the camera was on Julie Andrews. I also liked the “AAAAAAAAAAH” scene in the montage.

I’ve asked before: Why didn’t Tim Robbins hug his other kid? Does anyone know?
I agree, he and Sarandon were the coolest couple.

Jamie Lee Curtis looked awful. Very common.
Diane Keaton knows how to dress remarkable, especially when you’re not too young. Big titties are good for under 30ties.
Best dressed: Naomi Watts, Jennifer Garner, Sofia Coppola and Patricia Clarkson.
Worst: Uma Thurman, Sandra Bullock and Liv Tyler.
Too much make-up: Nicole Kidman and Oprah Winfrey.

Way too many Oscars for LOTR. An amusing movie, at best.

Bill Murray should have won. No doubt about that.

All in all, a pretty lame night. Errr, day.

10

I would have found this the most boring Oscars ever, except:
I was thrilled, thrilled, thrilled that LOTR won so much. Woo Hoo! It’s cool that Jackson looked like himself - think how weird he would looked all fancied up.
I enjoyed any and all shots of Johnny Depp. The only good moment in the “pre-game” show was when that “reporter” introduced Keisha Castle-Hughes to Depp. Cute & classy moment.
I liked, to my surprise, Jack Black & Will Ferrell - a lot.
I enjoyed hearing all the nominated songs this year. surely a first.

my catty fashion comments: Kidman’s topless dress looked so awkward. You couldn’t think about how it looked, only how did it stay up. Uma Thurman is usually dressed so beautifully - what happened? And Theron’s hair was a no, but everyone was looking at the body I guess.

Non-fashion catty comment - Why oh why did Katherine Hepburn deserve a separate tribute from the other dead guys?

And now, it’s back to reality.

PS - Did Crystal really refer to Sir Ian McKellan in one of his jokes as a “queen”? Funny?

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Liv Tyler looked awful. Her hair really bothered me.

Charlize Theron was too tan and, were I her, I’d fire my makeup people immediately.

Why was Oprah even there?

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He just finished filming a movie where he has a shaved head. Meh.

My two cents:

Why did they play “Hail to the Chief” for Tom Hanks? That seemed inappropriate.

No Salma Hayek? :frowning:

The Technical Awards were presented on Valentine’s Day. Kinda made me sad for all my fellow geeks out there - but honestly, what other night are a bunch of technical and special effects guys going to be free?

The winner of a technical award (as previously mentioned) said something to the effect of, “It’s about time I won an award - I’ve contributed more to this industry than anyone in this room.” Nice.

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I would say Michael Douglas is. He even had the indoor sunglasses thing going on.

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Katharine Hepburn deserved a separate tribute because she won more acting Oscars than any other woman (four) and is a Hollywood Legend.

I didn’t notice a “queen” comment from Crystal directed at McKellen but McKellen is of course openly gay and has participated previously in good-natured ribbing related to his sexuality (including doing drag on SNL).

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This is the 1st one I’ve seen in years. IMHO, cut the thing thing down to two seperate 90 minutes award shows (maybe call one geek and music night & the other one the main event).

If the prime time extravaganza was limited to:
Actress in a Supporting Role,
Actor in a Supporting Role,
Actress in a Lead Role,
Actor in a Lead Role,
Directing,
Honorary, and
Best Picture
The ratings would probably improve dramatically.