Our youth minister has scheduled a christmas party for the 5th of December. No big deal. He scheduled it at erin’s house. big deal. we have had it at sarai’s house traditionally, and just because Erins mom volunteered for the task, the location has been changed. problems: erins house is much smaller. Erins family will just be getting back from tenessee and won’t have much time to prepare. not alot of people know how to get to erins house.
Sarai’s house is about 3x as far away in comparison, but it is much bigger, has a pool table, plenty of parking space(as opposed to erins 3 car driveway) and sarai’s house has a huge tv. the expected attendance is atleast 20, and the last time we went to erins(about 12 people) we were on top of each other trying to watch monsters inc. Me and Sarai were talking at lunch, along with andrew, and we decided to revolt, have our own little party at sarai’s house anyway, with the same theme, gmaes, etc.
Do you guys condone revolts? how far should we take it? to whom should we advertise? or should we just sumbit to this “regime of honesty and fairness”?
But as a traditionalist, this offends me. erins mother knew we always have it at Sarai’s house, and Sarai’s family wouldve volunteered, given they are reminded/encouraged. Plus, everyone else like me loves spending time at Sarai’s house.
I plan to do that, along with anyone else who feels the same way. i just think that erins family is doing this for public appreciation, ie “look at all the great stuff i am doing. pat me on the back”
Alternatively, when I have seen something like this occur, it has been because the family (played here by Erin’s family) has felt that the group has been taking advantage of the other family (played here by Sarai’s family) and thought they’d give “Sarai’s family” some relief by volunteering, themselves.
It’s bad enough that you want to tear up the group for your own selfish motives without ascribing malicious intent to other people.
So what are the possible scenarios?
Suppose half the group abandons Erin’s place for Sarai’s. Is this an RSVP situation? Are you going to reimburse Erin’s family for the extra food they will buy that won’t be eaten? How does Sarai’s family feel about you just dropping in unannounced for a party? If they know you are coming, do they know that you are using them to spite someone else?
Alternatively, if everyone but you, Sarai, and one other conspirator go to Erin’s, are you prepared to reimburse Sarai’s family for the extra food that they will buy? Are you going to tell Sarai’s family that they are being used as pawns in a game of spite?
(It sounds as though your youth group needs a few more lessons in charity and, perhaps, less emphasis on partying.)
So let me get this straight…Sarai’s family did not, in fact, volunteer to host the party, and didn’t jump in and say that they’d love to host it again when Erin’s family did offer. In addition, because there wasn’t enough room for 12 people to watch one television comfortably, you’re claiming the whole house is too small to host 20 people. In light of this, you’re planning to splinter the youth group because they’re not doing everything the way you think it should be done. Is this correct?
In short, you’re being a jerk. Erin’s house may be smaller than Sarai’s, but if they thought it was too small to host the group, they wouldn’t have volunteered and the youth minister wouldn’t have agreed. It would have been rude, unreasonable, and pretty damn unChristian for him to turn down someone who volunteered and then have to ask somebody else to host the party. It’s also pretty unChristian of you to ascribe selfish motives to someone who’s trying to do something nice for you. (And what makes you so sure that Sarai’s family doesn’t host the party for the reasons you’re attributing to Erin and her family?) Tradition is all fine and good, but there comes a time when traditions no longer work with the realities of life, and they have to be changed. It’s just the way of the world.
Be a petty little twerp and boycott the Christmas party to go to Sarai’s house if you really feel you must. But do NOT go around trying to get everyone else to go along with you. All that will accomplish is to stir up anger and resentment within the group, and make you look like a major asshole. The seperate party will make you look like an asshole; you don’t need the amplifier.
You know what would be a great way to revolt against your youth minister? Convert to another religion! Imagine the look on his face when you and Sarai bust out with an offering to Ganesha, the Elephant God! Hilarious!
I dunno, I kind of find your entire attitude about all this revolting.
If you don’t like the idea of going to the party at Erin’s house then don’t go. Don’t whine, complain, or act snotty about it, just don’t show up. If you can’t even appreciate that they were generous enough to offer their house for you and other guests then you probably don’t deserve to be there anyways.
And what makes you think that Sarai’s family isn’t tired of everyone expecting them to host the party? Maybe they got sick of ungrateful guests and decided that they weren’t going to volunteer again this year. I wouldn’t blame them.
I’m curious as to what you would say if confronted by someone, like Erin or the youth minister?
“Erin’s house is too small, we don’t like that.”
“Sarai’s house has better stuff, you don’t have a pool table or a big TV or good parking.”
“You live farther than Sarai, that’s not convenient for me.”
Perhaps you wouldn’t say them out loud, but that seems to be your reasoning. I can’t say that I would think any of those things would be examples of good Christian (or good anything for that matter) behavior.
If Erin’s house doesn’t meet your standards for a party location, then don’t go. Go to Sarai’s house some other time if you want.
First, punch Erin in the throat, then break a curtin-rod across the back of her head. Kick her when shes down, just to make sure.
Burn down that little cracker-box she has the nerve to invite you to. Hide in the bushes and bust a few caps into random strangers who come to view the inferno.
Get the whole crew of nizzies and whozzies over to Shari’s crib and tear that joint up with fatties of The Chronic. Keep your Gat handy for the shootout when the fuzz shows up.
Make sure you have lots of that fruit salad with the little marshmellows in it.
Who says there are no simple answers?
She told me she loved me like a brother. She was from Arkansas, hence the Joy!
This is some kind of church or religious group gathering, right? And what positive Christian or Jewish or Muslim or whatever-religion-you-are-characteristics are you displaying by 1) not accepting with graciousness the offer that has been extended; 2) planning some sneaky rotten immature childish “revolt” to satisfy your own selfish wishes? I’d like to hear more about this brand of faith.
I really feel like I should offer my honest opinion, but I think the majority of the Dopers posting here have covered my sentiments on such behavior.
jerkish? yep
petty? yep
Un-xtian (or actually un-any faith/creed that ascribes to the Golden rule)? yep
twerpish? yep
uncharitable? yep
mean? yep
In short, yes, this sort of behavior is revolting and childish. If I were Erin, her family, or the youth minister, I’d make a special point to un-invite any member of my group who acted in such a manner to this and any future gatherings.
FaerieBeth
