I read the news today—oh, boy
About a man who got elected
And though the news was rather sad
A bid of three no-trumps
Well, I just had to laugh
It’s a world of laughter,
And a world of fear.
In it you will lose
Everything you hold dear.
There’re so many reasons not to care
That’s it’s time we’re aware
It’s a shitty world afterall.
True story. Not exactly the second line, but when my son was describing the electric boat he was buying from a company called Duffy, he was showing us a photo with a canopy on top and with transparent windows I could not help but start singing:
Swans and ducks and geese better scurry
When I take you out in the Duffy
When I take you out in the Duffy with the fringe on top
The screws are yeller, the upholstery’s brown,
The dashboard’s genuine leather,
With isinglass curtains y’ can roll right down,
In case there’s a change in the weather.
When I was in school in Austin we occasionally did our physics homework in a bar, and one night we came up with
You must remember this
A ket is just a ket
A psi is just a psi…
The fundamental laws apply,
As time goes by
When shall we three meet again?
Another f——-g Covid strain!
O, say can you see by the dawn’s early light?
It’s a flag! It’s my turn! and I spy something purple.
And can’t ignore classic Cecil…
On a dark dessert highway
Cool Whip in my hair
Well we’re all in the mood for a mammary…
Oh yeah I’ll tell you something/I think you’ll understand
When I say that something/I want to hold your ham
Can’t remember where I first saw this one:
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art exactly like July 19th.
I came up with this many years ago. You have to say it while your voice gets creepier:
I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as…
You. Lying there. NAKED. The chalk outline so freshly drawn around your body…"
I’m hearing Peter Lorre.
All the Whos
Down in Whoville
Liked Christmas a Lot
But Scrooge
Who lived out in London
Did Not.
I still prefer my other version
All the Geats
Down in Geatland
Liked Heorot a lot.
But Grendel
Who lived North of Geatland
Did Not
What is so rare as a day in June?
A day in April, September, or November
Rarer yet is a day in February
Bye, bye Miss American pie,
I’d rather have cake …
I won’t lie