Rich Little Ensuckens Dead Donkey Balls

The BBQ Pit
1

Couldn’t fucking believe it.

Morbid curiosity, only way to explain it. The Washington Correspondents Dinner, ya know? Last year, Colbert. You remember, or you can look it up. Minor fooforaw, not respectful, too nasty, ill tempered sarcasm, you know the drill.

(The voice from Zappa’s My Guitar Wants to Kill Your Mamma, querulous and neutron density unhip, “Don’t you boys know any nice songs?”…)

So this year they play it safe, nothing too edgy…Rich Little.

You heard me. Rich Little. And, God, was it awful. Camera crews adjusting their lenses as he sucked the light out of the room. He was billed as a comedian, so he told jokes. Old jokes, jokes found in cuniform on clay tablets in pre-Semitic languages. The one about the guy in the bar screams that lawyers are assholes and a guy is offended because (thudabump!) he’s an asshole!

Yeah, that joke! Christ, Jesus told that joke, is how old it is!! Pharisees, but same basic joke.

I’m not making this shit up, its on tape, they’re gonna repeat it! As he lay dying, he even sulked into the cringing “The Audience Doesn’t Get My Jokes” jokes! If Bobcat or Payton Oswald had been there, they would have torn out his throat with their teeth.

Roadkill armadillo is funnier, leprosy more witty, he lofted a joke like a dead baby tied to a bowling ball… But he was surpassed.

Even as he was the unfunniest comedian ever in the history of the Universe, he was surpassed.

GeeDubya gave the buzzkill intro of all time, nobody ever set up a comic for certain death like that. GeeDubya talks about how he isn’t gonna try and be funny because of how heavily the tragedy of VT weighs on him and surely all our prayers are for those suffering tonight in dark despair and now here’s the comedy stylings of Rich Little…! And the crowd chilled to mortuary room temperature.

I urge you to check this out when it repeats, for your edification and stuff. 'Cause I don’t blame you a bit if you think I’m exaggerating here. Worst evah? Imploded burning dogs bad, galactically lame beyond human ken?

Yes. I swear.

2

Did you mean Patton Oswalt?

Rich Little was the douchebag judge on Last Comic Standing who lambasted Gary Gulman for doing a roast challenge blue, IIRC. What a dumbass, those roasts are supposed to be utterly and completely profane. At least the ones done during this geological epoch are.

3

But he didn’t make Dub look like a fool, now did he? They must’ve been hard pressed to find any comic who would promise not to.

Forgot to add; anyway Little never was a standup comedian. His thing is impressions. He tries to add jokes but it’s not the main part of his act.

4

There was an article in the Ottawa Citizen a little while ago about him. (He was born in Ottawa.) He said he never gets asked to perform in Canada and he finds his hometown unwelcoming. And I thought, “Well, Duh…Rich Little sucks! I’d rather watch paint dry.”

5

Rich Little? Wow, Henny Youngman is cutting edge compared to Rich Little.

6

elucidator
Good pitting there. (jokes told in cuneiform, by the Pharisees, etc). :smiley:

I believe there was a thead about Rich Little’s being chosen for this a few weeks ago, but then I never heard anything further. It’s good to know someone found out about this funfest.

I wonder if he imitated anyone that is still alive?

7

I think you mean Joe’s Garage.

8

I regret to say that the playbill for the Orpheum Theatre here in Vancouver shows Rich Little and Friends at the end of April.

I don’t know how that’s expected to be a draw. Maybe the “friends” are half a dozen dogs dying of cancer.

9

Side note (and I don’t want to turn your thread into a “no, no, I saw someone unfunnier” contest, but I gotta get this out): I saw Jimmie Walker at a little shit-hole Chinese restaurant in Worcester, MA (called Aku-Aku, which is no longer. I am convinced that Jimmie’s appearance single-handedly put it out of business). The crowd was silent throughout. I mean, how bad do you have to be to not get a single laugh out of a crowd full of drunks (off Chinese restaurant drinks, nonetheless)? He actually opened up with, “Hih… hih… Worcester, Mass, you ready to partay? Well, dy-no-MITE!”

He ended up getting pissed and walking off the stage.

10

I parsed the thread title w/o recognizting ‘rich little’ as a name, but as a descriptor. it was probably funnier than his gig.

11

Wow, I didn’t know he was still alive.

12

This thread is proof positive, if proof were required, that comedy and humor are two entirely different things.

BTW: if the words roast challenge are preceded by the name of a food (eg: pig), you are probably tuned to a cooking show. Don’t expect yuks.

13

personal experience?

14

If watching the toob can be counted as “personal experience,” yaa youbetcha hey.

15

I’m gonna have to use that ‘dead baby tied to a bowling ball’ line as often as possible.

16

Why in Og’s name was there a comedian in a Chinese restaurant? If you took the three funniest people in the history of comedy, sucked out their funniness when they were at their peaks, and crammed all the funny into one uber-funny comedian, he’d still get nothing from me but an icy glare whilst I pondered lethal uses of my chopsticks.

Venue matters, dammit.

17

Sorry, I should have mentioned… the place doubled as a “Comedy Club” on weekends.

In actuality, it was usually the end of the line for hasbeen funnypeople.

18

Flashing on the Billy Crystal film Mister Saturday Night (“It’s Lonely At The Middle”) – the aging Buddy Young booked to play a Chinese restaurant – the marquee says “Buddy Yung.”

19

That’s to keep Little from decomposing.

20

Yeah, best setup man ever.