Ridiculous Civil Suits In Which You'd Be Plaintiff

Today I was scraping with my thumbnail, trying to get that maddening circle of chocolate off the bottom of the reese’s wax paper cup. I swear, anytime I eat one of those, some of the chocolate sticks to the wax-paper cup and I have to try to scrape it off. I can’t get it all unless I actually LICK the paper, and that’s a mess.

So I’m tempted to find me a desperate tort loawyer and go after the Reese’s people. It causes me great consternation (pain and suffering?) and makes it impossible to get all the chocolate that I paid for.

This is but one example. I think we ought to go after the Lucky Charms people for calling those things “marshmallows,” but that’s another story.

So, what are your dream petty lawsuits?

Stationary stores, for knowingly selling dangerously sharp-edged paper.

Breakfast cereal companies, for two reasons: Never getting the plastic toy I actually want and for all the times I’ve ripped back my cuticles opening the damn boxes, because that bloody well hurts.

People who honk their horns at female pedestrians, for reckless use of an alarm device and petty intimidation.

Stores that keep one (or more) door locked during normal business hours. Want to keep the door locked? Fine. Put up a friggin sign so I (and thousands of hapless other suckers) don’t go yanking at it all day long.

Funny thing is, I might actually win such a suit given that it may be some sort of safety violation to keep the door locked.

Then there are morons who stop dead to chat on street corners and supermarket aisles. Keep it moving or get out of the way, people…

Ekers vs Young Ekers.

My teenage self was a real jerk.

Suing the SDMB and all of you for keeping me from precious sleep right now. And to all, a good night!

Sinistrals vs. US gov’t. Demanding equal lefts.

Damn straight, ** photopat ** ! There’s a class action I want in on. Give me a left handed gear shift or give me death.

Ambulatory people who take the elevator just one floor, when they could take the stairs, thus making it take a million years to et from floor 1 to floor 14. These people should be sued for being bloody annoying, which isn’t illegal but should be.