In the spirit of the day, Melandry, I can even one-up you on the pedestrian thing. Twice.
The second-scariest experience I’ve ever had as a pedestrian came as a direct result of a right-on-red driver with all the social skills of a one-legged goose. I’m patiently waiting my turn to cross the street, not entering the roadway, because the light has just turned green and a few cars on my side of the street are making left turns that would cut right through the middle of the crosswalk. I, you see, can wait all of twenty seconds if it woll save a bunch of people several minutes of their own time. Not the dogfucker in question; the minute I decide it’s safe to step into the intersection, he honks at me. Seriously. Gets worse, though; when I’m not disintegrated by his sonic blast cannon, he decides he’s got to intimidate me a little, such as by accelerating full speed into me. I managed to my asshurrying out of his way, but he came within a damn inch of hitting me. Scary part is, in order to get out of the way, I had to do a half twist of my hindquarters to clear the space that he was heading into. Since I was focusing entirely on that, and not on anything else, I ended up landing sitting down (half lying down, really).
In the path of oncoming traffic.
With the light mostly over.
You’d beter believe that I hauled my ass out of there pronto, and I sure wasn’t looking to see what the Amazing Asshole Wart was doing, but I saw enough to tell that he had stopped “just short” of hitting me. Probably he thought me a chickenshit for being scared of his multiton vehicle when I myself wasn’t wearing one. Certainly he didn’t apologize or even look to see if I was all right; he had places to be, after all, and stopping briefly at that light had already made him late. I was only thinking about the First-Scariest experience I’ve ever had as a pedestrian, and how that could have potentially blown it out of the water?
What was scariest experience I ever had as a pedestrian? Easy. Picture a similar scenario, except that I end up getting hit by a speeding car. That’s what happened.
I used to live near an intersection that could only be safely crossed against the light. That sounds stupid and dangerous, and indeed the whole intersection was and is stupid and dangerous, but it was slightly less dangerous if you broke the law, because everyone else would surely violate the law egregiously.
It worked like this: there was a turn from a busy street onto an equally busy street. The intersection is at a shallow angle, rather than a square corner, which makes it very easy to complete a right turn there. The right turn lane has a specific right turn signal, which means that if you’re turning right you have to obey the signal. The same lane has a big sign that says, specifically, “NO RIGHT ON RED”, which means that you CANNOT TURN RIGHT ON RED. It is exactly the same as running straight through an intersection against the red signal. Inevitably, every single person who ever approached that intersection breezed through it at 45 MPH. If you ever tried to cross when the light was green in your direction, you would surely get flattened by a procession of cars who not only didn’t stop or even slow at the red light, but actually ran directly through a red light. It was (and is) much safer to wait for a red light on the cross street, meaning a green signal on the main street, and wait until all the cars have cleared the intersection. Nothing else is ever safe.
I forgot this, one day. It was midday, plenty of visibility, I had the right of way, and I decided to cross. The minute that I stepped out, the crown prince of bad drivers roars out of a fast food exit driveway adjacent to the intersection. He’s clearly trying to make the intersection while the light is still red, so that he can be sure to break the law. Problem is, he didn’t look to see if perchance someone was trying to cross.
I was damn lucky. I sensed him coming as I stepped off the curb. I managed toget my arms in front of me. I actually managed to push off with my arms. I somehow, on instinct and adrenaline, figured out to jump back with the balls of my feet, rather than try to make my knees backward. On top of all this, there happens to be a grassy hill right behind where I was; I was pushed back into it, and I was not hurt, other than going absolutely insane with panic for ten seconds or however long it took.
Fuckbreath actually rolls down the window and asks me, “Holy shit, are you okay?”
Me: Well, I think s…
[he peels off at approx 80MPH over the posted speed limit]
Call me an asshole, but I always stop at red lights, even when I’m supposed to.