Dude, so, it’s like totally Easter again. So I, like, was looking through my righteous DVD collection and came across a most excellent Easter-related movie: Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, the totally awesome sequel to Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure! (There’s like a totally non-non-heinous Easter Bunny in it, so it’s like totally an Easter movie, dude!)
Ahem. Excuse me.
Anyway, Spoiler alert time:
As you know if you’ve seen this (these) movies, they take place in a universe where time travel is possible. That’s the basis of the first movie, and plays more than a passing role in the sequel as well. The true genius of the first movie is the way they play with the trope of time travel being pretty much available whenever you need it.
“Hey! It was me who stole my dad’s keys!”
So, the plot of the sequel is all about them needing to play at a Battle of the Bands contest; if they don’t make it as the big famous awesome band the future knows them as, they’re gonna have to get jobs and stuff, which is like totally bogus, dude!
koff
And, of course, at the end of the movie, they make it to the stage on time. Unfortunately, DeNomolos (the big baddie) has created evil robots to stop them. Bill & Ted (with some help) create good robots to fight the evil robots… which they do. On stage. In front of the audience. Who LOVES it, assuming (or so we’re to assume, more on that in a moment) that it’s all just part of the show, and cheer about everything that happens.
But, I thought to myself as I was watching this tonight… why are they cheering? I mean, what’s going on on-stage doesn’t really make any sense at all, unless you (like we the viewers) know what’s just happened. I mean, robots? Aliens? Some dude dressed up as Death? Well, four out of five for the effort, guys, but there’s no real story here (as far as the ‘stage play’ itself is concerned, ie: the audience’s view.) Fireworks and special effects do not make an audience cheer that loudly, even after they’ve just seen Primus playing “Tommy the Cat”!
And as the show continues, they play with time travel again: Defeating De Nomolos, and then traveling through time right back onto the stage, only now with beards, babies, and actually knowing something about music. This sequence takes rather a long time, as it happens. My friend watching with me even commented something along the lines of “Really? The audience is still cheering? You’d think they’d get bored of this after a while, they’re not even playing any music yet!” But they do eventually start playing their music and thanks to De Nomolos’ vanity, everything that happens is broadcast across the entire planet, so their amazing performance is seen by everyone, and thereby fulfills the prophecy: Bill & Ted’s music changes the world, for the better.
Only, something occurs to me this time, as I’m watching. Right before the slightly-older Bill & Ted begin their song, they make An Inspiring Speech. “The best place to be… is here. The best time to be… is now.” On the surface, this means “Live in the present, dudes, because this is the only life you get. Make the most of it.”
But… that’s not what he SAYS. He says, in effect, “Be Here, Now.” To everybody on the planet, and in fact to* everybody in the future*. Who literally worship them. And, and this is the important part:
To people who have access to TIME MACHINES.
I know this concept has been brought up before, by science fiction writers and stoners alike, but what occurs to me is that people in the future will in fact be accepting Bill & Ted’s invitation. To come and witness the start of the new religion, the one that changes the world.
If time travel were possible, in the manner shown in the movies, then I’m guessing that the entire audience is made up of time travellers! THAT is why they were so excited about the pretty-lame-when-you-think-about-it show: They’re witnessing history being made!
Like if we had time travel technology today, people would be taking vacations to important events in our past. Jesus’ sermon on the mound, you know there’d be people going back to witness that. Hindenberg? Pompeii? 9/11? All focal points for time travellers, who want to go back and witness history. And that’s what happens here… otherwise, why would some little podunk town’s podunk rock festival be that full?
Anyway, that’s my theory, brought on by an over-stuffed belly full of Easter Dinner and dessert. What do y’all think?
They’re evil undead zombie-Jesus pirates! They’re not going to be freshly bathed and wearing tuxes!