Rock stars who should just quit now, thank you very much

In My Humble Opinion
21

You know, I saw this thread title, and my first thought was, “it’s gotta be Sting”. I was listening to * Synchronicity * just yesterday, and was sitting there wondering “is this the same guy who slobbers all over the radio with half-assed touchy feely songs?”

Why god, WHY!!???

22

Myrr21, I can see it is apparent that you’re only judging Sting by what gets air play.

23

I’m with Myrr on the Sting thing. I’ve listened (recently) to his latest album and the man who screamed ‘Next To You’ isn’t the same guy cranking out the pap that’s out there now.

Others:

Ramones
Kurt Cobain apparently
Melissa Etheridge after her first album.

24

I agree Aerosmith should retire, but I’ll take the Alicia Silverstone videos as a tradeoff.

I just heard on the radio that Motley Crew was coming to town this weekend. They weren’t that good when they were popular. What the hell are they still doing on tour?

And (according to VH-1) a Go-Go’s reunion tour? No comment necessary.

25

The Ramones spilt in 1996, although I agree they should have called it quits after Marky left.

26

Much as I want to kill myself for saying it, I think Joni Mitchell has been a dreary washup for years. I love her dearly and have every record she made from 1969 on to 1981. But if I see one more “tribute to the artistry of Joni Mitchell” special I think i’ll vomit. Her discs in the 90s have been uniformly drab (excluding the Hits and Misses discs that consisted of old material) and her voice nowadays sounds like a rusty foghorn.

Put me down as another vote for Sting to hang it up. There was about a year ago an “Onion” editorial that very precisely skewered him: “I used to be way cool!” was the name of it. I tried to find it in the Onion archives, but alas could not.

And while I believe these guys & girls finally wised up and threw in the towel already, let’s give a special mention to the B-52’s, who were fun and funky in the late 70’s, managed a worthy comeback in the late 80’s, but descended into complete mediocrity by the mid-90’s.

27

I get to respond to my own thread!

You’re not going to believe this, but a local radio station is advertising a concert by none other than Rick Springfield. Yes, he of “Jessie’s Girl” fame. He’ll be in the lounge at the Emerald Queen Casino in North Seattle. I kid you not…

28

Ah another Seattlite doper. Yeah, I’ve heard the point advertising the Rick Springfield giveaway contest too. I couldn’t imagine who would even want to win that one.

I sort of like Sting’s new stuff, for those of you who are begging him to quit. Sure, it’s not Synchronicity, but compared to probably 55-65% of the current junk that gets played, I’d just as soon hear “Desert Rose.”

29

There are two “aging rock star” litmus tests I give an act to determine whether they should hang it up or play until the day they die:

  1. Are they, and their fans, still having fun? C’mon - haven’t you ever been to a jazz or blues concert and all the people in the band are older than dirt, uglier than sin - downright pathetic looking - but their mastery of their art has never been more apparent? This should also apply to Rock - unfortunately since a lot of rock and roll image is based on youthful rebellion it’s a little harder, but it doesn’t have to die. I went to see Plastic People of the Universe (they are sort of the Czech Velvet Underground) on their last tour. They are at least as old as the Stones, but their music was tight, energetic, and they and everyone else in the room were having a great time. Some people just get better with age: Lou Reed, Peter Gabriel, Ry Cooder, Paul Simon, Carlos Santana (ok, the songs are annoying, but the guitar is still amazing)…

Some people of course, don’t get better with age. Like Rod Stewart. And Phil Collins. Actually, these two kind of sucked in the first place.

  1. Are they still trying to pretend that they are 19 and sexy, or has their look matured? Have they affected some sort of aging rock star mullet? (I refer you to http://www.mulletsgalore.com)

If they fail one or both of these tests, they should just hang it up. No fun + aging rock star mullet + aging rock star body wedged into leather pants is just depressing.

Sting ceased to break any new ground after 10 Summoner’s Tales (a decent album). The Desert Rose song chafes me like a burlap bikini. He should stop wearing pajamas to events requiring tuxedos, too.