So I was driving up to Washington DC amidst rush hour traffic and I heard about this website on the local morning show. The site consists of a well traveled groupie and her friends giving the low down about thier experiences with over 100 rockstars in the sack. I checked out the site and thought it was just too hilarious not to post here.
Well. That’s information you won’t find in People magazine!
There was a relatively famous groupie in the sixties (ironically I couldn’t find her name anywhere) that collected impressions of rockstar penii.
Apparently the biggest she came across was Jimi Hendrix, but I think she didn’t get permission to make a cast of it.
— G. Raven
Cynthia Plaster Caster.
Apparently she got into some legal trouble and a bunch of rock stars held a benefit concert to pay her fees, entitled “Hard Aid”. I swear I’m not making this up.
Apparently, she’s still at it.
[Edited by Eutychus55 on 06-21-2001 at 04:15 AM]
:eek:
If a mod has time, would they kindly fix that url please? I promise to go to sleep now…
Hee. It’s the Lonely Planet of Rock Dicks.
Priceless stuff. 
So… who is the audience this is aimed at?
First of all, women who are rockstar groupies have already decided they want to sleep with these guys. Is any of this gossip about their circumcision or preference for blowjobs going to make a difference?
And women who don’t like male rockstars, well, they just aren’t interested. Period.
That leaves a slice of the female population that is undecided, or underinformed about these guys’ sexual magnetism. This would include many teenage girls just entering puberty, but I surely wouldn’t want my 12-yo daughter reading this site. I’m probably going to have enough trouble with her as it is!
As for men… how many straight men want to read about the sexual qualifications of people that we’re insanely envious of already? Not me! (But reading the bad reviews kinda offsets that… and the pictures of Donna I’ll take, too.)
So all that’s left is gay men. And I can’t see any reason why gay men wouldn’t love this stuff… other than the fact that they typically have as much of a chance of bedding these rockstars as your average straight guy has of getting a piece of that hot blonde “researcher,” Donna Anderson. Still, those kinds of probabilities never kept a (mostly) straight guy like me from lusting openly about Courtney Love or Britney Spears.
I predict this woman’s biggest audience will be men: gay men who want to fantasize about rock cock (great phrase, btw, rock cock) and straight men who want to see pictures of Donna Anderson and read about how Marilyn Manson can only last 2 seconds. (Rose McGowan, if you’re reading this, I can go that many hours, and I’m better looking than that freak you married. Your loss.)
bughunter, I am a married, hetero female non-groupie, and I could read stuff like that all DAY!
I spend a great deal of time at Groupie Central reading about rockstars and their sex lives.
I mean the stuff you learn! Gene Simmons has sex with groupies? WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT??? 
Seriously, I love it. In fact, reading about Everlast at groupie central has given me a newfound lust :: cough :: respect I mean ::cough:: for him
No rammstein on the shlong site. Hmmm…I’ll have to report back myself…
jarbaby
Well.
Isn’t that…
interesting.
Sure slammed Vince Neil, didn’t she?!
jarbaby,
From: http://www.metal-sludge.com/Ho-Bag1-25-01.htm
Just thought you’d like to know.
Funny site however these chicks haven’t a clue on how big/small translates to actual inches. Yeah, I buy that a chick can tell that one rock star is hung better than most guys, but that doesn’t make it 10 inches. Lets face it, there are all of like 20 guys in the world with a legit 10" cock. Yet according to this site about 20 percent of all rock stars are up there. Its fun for the 14 year old in all of us, but the girls on the site are about as bright.
Don’t ya know, Omni that it all depends on where you start measuring?
I can get to 20" if I stick the first 10" of the tape measure up my ass.
Jar, I was going to post a link to Groupie Central. I have to say, do you find the stories over there sad sometimes? I mean, their only goal in life is to bang rockstars-most of whom are pretty pathetic.
Guinastasia, I was just typing up an email about that exact thing when I noticed your post. So many stories about abuse, drug abuse, overdoses, prostitution and suicide.
And how would you know?
I’d read a magizine column a few months back that toted, statistically speaking, it’s about one out of ten thousand.
::pointing and laughing at 10,000 men::
No, wait guys! … I was just joking!!
No, I was…
Um, put away those baseball bats
Shit.
How did they collect that data? I’m sure they couldn’t trust “self reported” data, or the median penis size would be 12.9 inches. So are there researchers out there measuring penises?
Supposedly the researchers did the measuring of over 1,000 men. I’ll try and find the article… I think it was in “Maxim.”
So… let’s do some math here. If they’re saying it’s 1 in 10k, and they only measured 1k samples, then they had only a 1 in 10 chance of even finding ONE manhood 10" or longer.
Makes it a bit suspicious how they can even calculate those odds… I mean if they found zero, how can they figure any number? And if they got one, why aren’t the odds 1 in 1000?
I find it very suspicious. Let’s examine the result.
If that frequency is correct, that means there are approximately <tappa> <tappa> <ker-CHUNK> <ding> 27,600 pentapenes in the US alone. I can’t evaluate that intuitively… except for my standard “large number of people” scale helper of thinking how many football stadiumfuls that is: One.
But bottom line, I know if I was an adolescent boy with a big 10", I sure wouldn’t be wasting my time on musical instruments, and hanging out with other well-endowed males banging on drums and guitars. I’d just put on a pair of tight pants and head to a disco…
So why are so many of these 27,600 men drawn to rock performance?
“Pentapenes”?
Oooooooh, now there’s a real challenge…using that word in a sentence, without laughing hysterically. But I swear to my Goddess, I will try to meet that challenge.
Persephone’s Boss: Afternoon, Persephone. Whatcha got for lunch today?
Persephone: I’m having pentapenes today.
Persephone’s Boss: Pentapenes? Oooh, is that something new from Luigi’s?
Persephone: Um…yeah! Would you like some? It’s really too big for me.