Roland Deschain, I have some choice words for you.

The BBQ Pit
101

There are some things, Roland, that if you have to ask the question, you’re never really going to understand the answer. Why people are creeped out/irritated/disconcerted by your posts is one of those questions, I’m afraid. But I’m going to try and explain it to you.

There’s not some big checklist of what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate. It’s a gestalt of time, place, audience, context, tone, and a host of other social cues. Pan fried semen is funny–here on the Dope, when it’s in its own little clearly marked thread so people know what to expect, and when it’s approached with humor. Pan fried semen is offensive on a rape victim support board, or when it just randomly pops up out of nowhere, or in a hundred other circumstances. Detailed discussions of sexual matters, body fluids, dead baby jokes, Bonsai Kitty–it’s all got an appropriate time and place, and about a zillion inappropriate times and places.

Your stinky dick story would have been fine in a thread about what anal sex is really like, or one about most disconcerting sexual experiences. Those would have been appropriate situations. This thread, not so much.

What bothers people isn’t so much that you sometimes misread social cues and say things that are inappropriate. Hell, everybody does it from time to time. But when most people realize their hilarious joke or not-so-relevant-after-all story has gone over like a turd in the punchbowl, they apologize for the misunderstanding and pay closer attention to social cues so it doesn’t happen again. You don’t do that. You defend your actions and tell people their social mores are stupid. And then you keep doing it again and again and again. The failure to learn from such mistakes makes you look either too stupid to learn or too assholish to make the effort.

That, and the fact that some of the questions you ask…well, they’re not the sort of questions typically posed by a healthy mind. The thread about shooting the security guy at WalMart, for instance. It implies that you are, as you’ve described yourself, a sociopath. (You do understand that sociopathic isn’t a word that has any positive connotations at all, right? And that describing yourself as sociopathic certainly isn’t winning you any supporters?) Sociopaths make people nervous because there are no standards for predicting their behavior. You never have any idea what they’re going to do next, or any idea whether or not what they do next will be dangerous or even lifethreatening to you.

That is why people react to your posts the way they do.

102

The ocean is about 3 or 4 percent salt. And yet it is very, very salty. Enough to kill a man if he drinks enough of it.

Just sayin’

103

The Wall Mart post was NOT about shooting the security guards (people “morphed” my position into that). Rather it was about what would happen if you simply choose to ignore their silly, stupid little buzzers. Some people bascially said “well then they would detain you.” to which I responded “well, what happens if you refuse to be detained and have the means to resist?” That was somehow morphed into me advocating shooting security guards which was never the case. As for the wage employee’s at Wall Mart are paid I think that should be determined by the free market. Having once been a Wall Mart employee for a brief time I can tell you that no one put a gun to my head “no pun intended” forcing me to take the job (although I needed the money there were other options and I soon left because I didn’t like the low pay and lousy working conditions).

As to the social cues thing I’ve made a living out of ignoring social cues since I was a wee little child. People’s little “social games” have always struck me as inane and unnessary. I’ve never flirted, told jokes or engaged in pointless banter that was intended to convey something specific. Also, I’ve always tried to ask the questions that others won’t without regard to so called “political correctness”. To me every perspective should be examined and nothing is out of bounds unless presented in a deliberately hostile manner.

104

So, I’m forced to ask the question - How’s that working out for ya?

105

And yet, by not playing the social game Zim, you end up not getting what you want, which is, evidently, to be treated a certain way. Kinda shooting yourself in the foot there, eh?

No flirting, no jokes, no pointless banter?
Dude, you must be great at parties.

Also, you fail to realize that your individuality does not cancel out other people’s. Yeah, you get the choice to do whatever you want. But they also get the choice to react however they want. So whining about how individuals react to your individualism is rather… conformist. No?

106

And I’m telling you, that’s why since you were a wee little child people have treated you like an annoying-ass freak. You got two options, chuckles: you can either pay a little attention to social cues and get treated somewhat normally, or you can go on deliberately ignoring social cues and shut the everloving fuck up about being treated like a freak.

107

This doctrine of yours not only has a stupid name, it’s just plain stupid. Henceforth I shall call it the Dumbass Doctrine. Normal people, when asked by a genocidal dictator how to identify victims, are not going to follow the Dumbass Doctrine of calmly answering the question. They are going to react very negatively to such an insane and evil question. If you honestly don’t understand that, maybe you really are sociopathic.

108

I am not Zim whoever that might be. It was just that sort of challenge to my sincerity that caused me to post our 800# at Nationalmortgage.com (on their Grapevine) years ago (during a debate about creditscoring) and which my wife went apeshit over.

As to my doctrine I’ll admit that my illustrations involve hyperbole. However, the point is to illustrate that one should respond to the question rather than the questioner. This is a basic tenet of logic and failure to comply with this point often results in “ad hominem” attacks (or responses).

Also, someone said that I asked too many questions and don’t offer enough responses. I respond when I have something to say that contributes to the dialogue in a unique manner. Since most people know more about most things than do I, that is not very often. On the other hand I almost always do a “search” before asking a question to make sure that it hasn’t already been answered (or at least not from the angle I am seeking. Furthermore, I would point out that I went many months with hardly a post only to come back again over school break (that pattern will likely repeat to some extent). Finally, I notice many of you with thousands of posts who haven’t been here that many years. The point being that at my current post rate I probably will never even be in the upper 80th percentile of all Dope posters. Besides I would venture to say that my “question reply rate” is at least in the upper 50th percentile of all posts. That is to say in the Dope equivalent of the “Nielsons” that my posts shouldn’t be canceled. This may serve as evidence (but admittedly not proof) that not all of my questions are inane, banal, insipid or otherwise unworthy.

109

Roland, reading your posts and trying to figure out how your brain works makes me feel like I am breathing nitrous oxide.

Have you noticed the lack of people chiming in to agree with you that your viewpoint makes sense? Consider for a moment the possibility that these are not ad hominem attacks but critiques of the fundamentals of your position. There is a place between responding to the question and responding to the questioner, and it is taking the question in context.

“Where is a big sharp knife?” asked of you by your wife, standing in the kitchen getting ready to cook dinner, is very different from the exact same question asked by a masked stranger in your house. Yet your doctrine would have you answer the same in both circumstances.

Think about that, would you? Realize that context matters, that the small social graces are worth practicing, and get some fucking help. You are sociopathic, and that is NOT A GOOD THING.

110

That is exactly what Zim would say, Zim.
Zim. ZIM!

You really are hopeless, ya know?

And the basic tenet of society is that normal people find genocidal lunatics and tyrants to be poor conversational partners.
Live and learn, eh?

111

You’re doing it again, dude.

Ain’t that the truth.

112

I rest my case.

113

To clarify, Zim is an insane alien who neither knows nor cares how humans are supposed to act. He has a disguise so he can sort of fit in, but mostly he just wants to take over the planet. When Zim does crazy shit, it’s funny, being a cartoon and all. When Roland does it, well, not so funny any more.

114

In the end it’s “just” a board folks. I am amazed at how many people are ready to have my nursing licenses (currently only CNA/QNA revoked) or to have me committed to an institution based upon what is for me essentially “mental gymnastics”. Not that I don’t learn a great deal here in terms of factual information, but let’s face it social interaction in the context of electrons has little to do with the real world. Yes context is important, but so what? I intend my questions to be starting points for illuminating dialogue, and or as catalysts for the presentation of factual information not previously presented (to include unique first hand experiences that we all have). In essence, I see many of my posts as “thought experiments”. I wouldn’t dare post in class (or even among my friends and associates) a question about “swing clubs”. However, in the context of a message board there is little down side in the real world, and the possibility that useful (or at least interesting) information might be revealed.

It was my impression that Zim was an actual poster here who shared certain characteristics common to my posts. If he is instead a character from literature (popular or otherwise) then I’m not qualified to compare my resemblence to this person.

115

You are insane.

A) we don’t need to know whatever licenses you have. We don’t want to know. Your desire to tell us is weird Zim,
B) I went to look up the thread that creeped me out, and found you’ve started one hundred and fourty one threads. Let me just say, if you’ve started that many threads, and you don’t have a clue how the Dope functions… I, personally, would suggest that as a member of the community you make an effort. Then again Zim, you can keep trying to take over this strange world of earther scum!
Lurk more.
C) The OP is a nurse. That’s all I have to say.

To be honest, the more I read of your stuff, the more I think you’re a real honest to god crazy person.
I think your ‘mental gynmastics’ are the result of a mind that’s come totally unhinged. Either that or you’re a big fucking baby who’s still sixteen and refused to grow up and is trapped in highschool.

Except when you realize that posting to the SDMB is an action of participation and observation for thousands of other people who form the community, and dedicate real time in their real lives to interacting with this real message board.

… Context is important, because… context, is… important.
See, that’s what important things are, things to pay attention to and alter your behavior according to your goals and the conditions. Grok?

Childe Roland to the Zen Master came and asked for illuminating dialogue.
He then mentioned that the word dialogue makes him think of the argument he had with his wife when she tried to slap him after he ‘accidently’ fucked her ass.

This koan may be made shorter to simply say ‘penis ensues’

The question was fine. The Dope is a pretty liberal culture, all in all. Asking for personal experiences is fine. I think people were squiked out by the tone, the … gestalt of your posts from that thread and others, and that some things you said were, well, werid and/or creepy.

It really is odd, but I can’t stop hearing your posts in Zim’s voice, Zim.
Trust me, if they were going to do a live action Zim movie and needed actors… well…
I’d want you to be kept far away from the set. but that’s neither here nor there.

116

To the observer, your “gymnastics” look more like seizures. This is an information-sharing community… you aren’t going to get as much information if you alienate the various sources.

Here’s a phrase to try on: “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was offending anybody. I was just trying to get a better factual understanding of ________.”

Here’s another one: "I see things differently, so I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.

Having said that, I do agree with you wholeheartedly regarding people who rush to criticize a question without giving their best shot at a factual answer. That is a* huge * pet peeve of mine. Call me crazy, but I give people credit for understanding their own lives and motivations more than I do. You just happened to run afoul of the community by trying to call it a “doctrine” and inventing a long-winded explanation dramatized with wildly inappropriate historical figures. Was it really important enough to drag Hitler into it? A stint in Toastmasters might do you good.

117

Back to weird and creepy eh? What is it with you liberals anyway? In nursing school I get it drummed into my head constantly about how I have to respect all cultures, perspectives, and outlooks (by very liberal instructors and texts). Thus, if someone is Zen Buddist and wants thirty candles I am to try an accomodate (and not judge) them. In a similar manner if a prostitute comes in for her seventh abortion I am also not to think negatively of her. Even if someone from Nigeria brings their daughter in and I notice that she has been clitorally mutilated, I am to say nothing since it is part of their culture (unless I believe the act occured here where it would probably be illegal). If my clients are Satanist, I had better try to accomodate them every bit as much as if they are Southern Baptist.

Fine, if those are the modern “liberal” rules then so be it. I don’t have to like the rules, I just have to try and adapt to them if I hope to support my family in this field. However, when Roland the creepy responds to someone wishing that he would have anal sex with a fellow Christian and then die well that’s just over the top. I mean, damm he’s, he’s well he’s creepy and needs help for Gods sake. You people are often so damm hippocritical that I don’t see how you can stand the cognitive dissonance. Consider Rush Limbaugh for example. Most liberals are all for drug rehab, decriminalization, and medical privacy except when it’s Rush that has a problem. No in his case we need to let the government confiscate his medical records and send him down the river for being an addict.

118

What the fuck do liberals and nursing and culture have to do with you being a creepy and stupid dickhead?

I really feel sorry for your wife and wish her the best of luck finding someone else more stable at a swingers club.

119

You never stopped.

Zim, we don’t include stuff like that in our discussion normally. It’s called ‘over the top’.

No Zim not when you respond, how you respond.

Spot on.

I know, I have massive cognitive dissonance. The last time I had cognitive dissonance I was hacking a body to pieces, do you have any idea how hard it is to cut through the sinew in a human body? Whoa, lemme tell ya. So, anyway, cognitive…

120

By the way, I’ve made up my mind. You are very weird, and there is probably something wrong with you.
I don’t think anything anybody says will sink in, and I’ve grown tired. If you want the last word, it’s yours.
Ciao ciao.