Cute. And if that were true, the rest of us would decide whether we valued your opinion enough to respect your wishes or if we wished to continue the debate, knowing you’d be offended.
There are few exact synonyms. ‘Gay’ in the usage we’re talking about is used to mean something negative, unwanted in some way, with whatever nuances you consider are a part of it. I think it’s a bad thing to associate homosexuality with that.
You have your own opinion - why should I assume that you wanted to use someone else’s name instead of your own? Anyway, it was Bo that was wondering why he was being used.
Nobody has to, of course not. We’re not talking about conversations, not traffic regulations. But then the same thing goes for pretty much any part of conversation, doesn’t it? You don’t have to give your interlocutor a chance to talk, but it’s generally considered rude if you don’t.
I’m not going to rescind to the rest of that post because I’d simply be repeating myself. Again.
You’re terrible at insults, btw; ‘Harold Stinkfarter’ would be a rather unusual name for a woman.
It was not an insult. It’s a fictitious name I’ve used before on these boards before in place of “John Doe” or “Anonymous”.
See? There’s another case of ego-centric perception at play.
ETA: It’s pretty obvious by now that my point is lost on you. Why don’t we just drop this? If you’d like to discuss the issue further, perhaps a different forum would be more appropriate.
True or False?
Beck is Gay.
Answer that without sexual or political equivocation and prejudicial vetting.
Your point is not lost on me. Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I fail to understand.
I should have added a smiley-face. I didn’t think you were actually calling me that name, because I doubt you’d do that in IMHO - I was using it as a way of pointing out that I’m not male. It doesn’t bother me when people assume I’m male, but I usually get around to correcting them eventually, and you’re not the only one in this thread to do that.
If you’re talking about taking this disagreement to the pit, that’s up to you - I don’t think it merits it, but, whatever.
I’m talking about the musician/vocalist, Beck… not (Glen) Beck.
Which Beck? The singer? The politician (Glen Beck?) I’ve no idea. What’s your point?
Like I said, answer that without any leads or prejudices from me. I don’t know… you tell me? I think he is definitely Gay… not homosexual…just Gay.
True.
No, I didn’t mean the Pit. I was thinking it was more a debate we were having than a shouting match. A disagreement rather than a dissing, if you will.
If I’d meant to insult you, it would be crystal clear. I have lots of practice at it; it’s kind of a pre-requisite skill for my line of work.
But I meant no offense, and had no reason to offer any. (A dual explanation, eh, showing that yes, I do know the difference between intent and motive.)
That may help explain the disconnect, at least a little. For women, everyone deserves respect. For men, nobody deserves respect until they earn it. Generally speaking, of course; no doubt there is some overlap. I think this may play some part in the divide.
scifisam thinks nobody should offend anyone, or rather, everyone should be mindful of everyone else. By contrast, I am a pretty typical “guy’s guy,” and from what I know of Bo I think he is too. The guy brain doesn’t think that way. Again, no doubt there are outliers, please spare me from the dozen guys chiming in to say “I think everyone deserves respect!” It’s a gender difference, deal with it. It’s explained pretty well in this essay, in the section on “Earning Manhood.” Specifically:
The whole essay is a pretty good read, and the above quote really benefits from the context of reading the whole thing.
I really don’t know anything about him - I’ve no idea what you’re going on about.
Woah, what line of work are you in that requires insulting people? Lots of people on here would love to get into that!
I didn’t think it was a shouting match either, I just didn’t know where else you meant.
I think there is something to that.
FWIW, my friends and I throw insults at each other all the time, normal banter like you’re talking about. But because it’s mutual and there’s a line you don’t cross, it’s not actually insulting. If someone specifically asked you not to use a certain term, for serious reasons, IMO it’s crossing a line to continue using it.
I know that a lot of men would find it difficult to get away with asking their friends not to use the word gay in that way - they’d probably end up with their friends using it every second word. And those friends would be intending to cause offence - they just wouldn’t consider it important.
(I don’t think it’s the biggest deal in the world, either, but it’s very easy to change precisely because it’s so trivial).
I’m with you on the first part. For me and the various groups of friends I’ve had throughout my life, specifically asking not to use a term is itself crossing the line.
As for the parenthetical, I’m uncomfortable with the idea that because something is trivial to change, changing that thing is expected.
I should point out that long ago I stopped using the term gay to mean lame because it is offensive to gays. (That “lame” is offensive for exactly the same reason and nobody seems to care is just one of life’s little ironic treats for me.) I’m invested in the philosophical debate, not the actual term, which I agree is homophobic. I do not like being told that I have to speak a certain way and I shouldn’t sweat it because it’s trivial. That slope is too slippery for my taste.
I’m a guy and if asked to stop using the word I would take in to account a few options:
If you were actually gay, I would stop using it around you as best I could
If you were a male stranger, I would determine if I cared or not and go from there
If you were a female, I would stop using it depending on how hot you were
If you were male and a friend, I would use it every other sentence until you stopped caring, cried, or punched me.
I do have to say in regards to snowboarder’s opinion. If you ask me not to use the word and I continue to use the word I know full well what I am doing.
I had to look at you and choose whether to respect your wishes. The fact that you asked me to stop is already one strike against you.
Opie is Gay.
Have you read this thread? The very joke being cited is that “gay” means “homosexual” but it also means “lame” as in “crap”. Several people have posted in this thread that they use gay to mean lame (i.e. crap).
WTF are you posting about?
I don’t know and don’t care if Beck is homosexual.
I don’t know and don’t care if Beck is lame.
I don’t know and don’t care if Beck is the musician or Glen Beck.
I don’t know and don’t care if you think Beck is homosexual.
I don’t know and don’t care if you think Beck is lame.
It is totally possible to evaluate if a person is homosexual without value judgment. One is a factual determination, the other is an opinionated judgement.
Did you actually read that article, or did you just ignore everything except that which played to your stereotypes?
(For those of you who didn’t bother, it’s actually really interesting)
Does it bother anyone else that absolutely no one seems to have a problem with the not-so-new-but-potentially-offensive use of “lame” (or “retarded”) while having a problem with the sorta-new-and-apparently-always-offensive use of “gay” as a word describing the same thing? Or that “gay” originally meant something entirely different to begin with, and now people are having problems with it changing in meaning again?
Words mean exactly what speakers and listeners think they mean. It has become fairly clear that people have appropriated “gay” to become a synonym for prejudicial uses of “retarded” and “lame”, general unspecified disagreeableness but not of the sort where comparability to excrement is required and I don’t think there’s a single good word available that isn’t offensive to someone that describes the concept well.
You might as well say that people shouldn’t use “gay” to mean “homosexual” anymore, and for the exact same reason.
This. I’m getting sick of it, to be honest. Words can have several different meanings. Who is someone else to tell me which meaning I intended when I said a word? Not that I say gay or retarded very much.
I am not at all offended by the use of the word lame, and I use it myself.
Has anyone seen the Hilary Duff commercial?
Or you know, there are other possibilities. Like, I don’t think Beck is homosexual or lame, but I think he’s pretty damn gay. I love Beck’s music and style and I don’t believe he is homosexual, crappy, or lame… just gay. Why, he’s even gayer than Bowie.