What’s that sound? Is it a metronome going at 150 BPM? A drum line warming up with some rudimentals? Is it playing cards taped to bicycle spokes on a moving bike?
No! It’s the sound of my fucking roommate’s goddamn heel hitting the goddamn floor! To more clearly explain this tic: he sits in his chair with one foot planted firmly on the ground, the other on which he rests the weight on his toes. It is with this particular foot that he will repetitively use his heel to hit the ground. Try it at home, you’ll see what I’m talking about.
Seriously this guy is going to make me commmit some type of felony before the year is out. I already knew he had the mental capabilities of a slow 7 year old, and the language abilities of Cletus the slackjawed yokel, but does he have to have the most annoying nervous twitch I’ve ever encountered in my life on top of it?
All day constant movement of that fucking leg! Constant clicking sound! And in addition to the nervous twitch, constant farting! Constant disuse of words such as “isn’t” and “doesn’t”, for which he’s chosen instead to ALWAYS say “ain’t” and “don’t”!
Does he go to class? No! Does he close the door when he pisses? No! Is he able to realize in the least that he should have some kind of modicum of courtesy for myself and my suitemates? No!
So roommate, I’m going to bring myself down to your level here for a second, and level with you: I know we don’t got to be friends or nothing but ain’t it ‘bout time you started bein’ somewhat respectful an’ shit? I mean, Jack don’t like it when get his microwave all messy and shit, and Mike was talkin’ the other day 'bout how you leave the shower a disaster. So please stop being such a motherfucker. Or I will kill you.
Yep. I hate it when someone takes a piss with the door open! How disre-fuckin-spectful is that! Damn it, keep that to yourself! If you like the nice splashing sound that it makes with the door open…too fucking bad, ass wipe!
At least he doesn’t stink. I had one that stank. Even right out of the shower he stank. Maybe even in the shower (didn’t check…)!
I, too, have never understood the pissing in plain view thing. We have a door to the bathroom and a door to the stall, yet I’ve had two suitemates in my time who were apparently unable to urinate unless both were wide open. Of course, when I mentioned this to them, they stopped (you have brought these concerns to your roommate’s attention, right?).
My roommate rant, from this thread (which is an extremely interesting read if you get the chance):
There’s a second Casey story in that thread, but it’s not really a complaint (and it’s not funny, either).
My only complaint about my current roommate is that I’m forced into “sexile” (forced to vacate my room while he has a girl over) fairly often . . . which wouldn’t bother me if I was gettin’ any. . .
Sometimes when I’m too tired, and it’s too early in the morning for me to be courteous I’ll shout that there is a door, but otherwise I’ve pretty much laid off on the pissing with the door open thing.
With some roommates you have to pick your battles, and mine is one of them, so I’ve focused our “discussions” to being mostly on things that really piss me off. Like how when I’m in the room I don’t want to hear him blast whatever Creed or Drowning Pool song is popular, even if they are, as he put it “pretty socially acceptable music.” I had to very slowly explain to him that even if society as a whole likes that music (an assertion of which I’m incredulous) I myself, do not. Therefore, please do not play it so loud as to not allow me to hear my own music which I’m listening to through headphones.
So by comparison, the open door pissing thing isn’t so bad. And generally I would say that there aren’t a whole lot of really annoying things my roommate does, just the aggregate of them adds up to him being a sucky person.
