Roommate situation -- what should I do?

Wait, so is anyone else currently living in the apartment besides you?

Ideally, I wouldn’t give the key back. When he’s ready to ship her stuff, or get her furniture, he can come over and get the stuff. Is there a reason he needs unlimited access to your apartment? He probably wants to list the furniture on Craigs List and let people come see it when you’re out. Fuck that shit. He can show it when YOU are home or he can move it into his apartment.

I don’t know if that is kosher though, if she’s current on her half of the rent. She does deserve access to her stuff, but a third party opening your apartment up to psychos off CL is a bad situation.

Just to clarify, I am currently the only person living in the apartment. My roommate (who has paid her rent up until April) has moved to New Jersey, and is apparently not coming back, so this has all been done via phone/email. My roommate and I have together arranged for someone to move in from April 1st - July 31st (the end of the lease). I’m fine with this person moving in. When she arrives, we can add her to the lease and I’ll be (relatively) protected.

What my roommate wanted to do was rent out the room for the duration of March, in order to get back the rent money, so she doesn’t have to pay double rent while she is in New Jersey. When I told her this was not acceptable, she agreed not to rent out the room, but her friend still had the key (until I took it back).

I agree there has to be a balance in trust here, but hey, this is America.:stuck_out_tongue: I don’t think she will try to move someone in now that I told her that treating my apartment like a hotel is not acceptable, but I have no way of knowing for sure. The fact that she thought it was OK shows a pretty serious lack of judgment, in my opinion.

I *think *I might reluctantly agree to give back the key, with an agreement that the friend will remain with anyone who wants to buy something at all times. It’s still a bit risky, but I’m not sure if it’s worth endangering the relationship with him and my (ex-ish)roommate. Plus, it would be more convenient for me if he handles it… oh, I don’t know! :smack: Think I’m going to try to get a studio next year, though!

Ah, that makes it clearer. I didn’t realize that the Chinese student hadn’t moved in yet. Well, if you do give the key back for convenience sake, you should lay down some firm ground rules, including when he’s giving the key back and the people he’s letting into your apartment. Once the other renter moves in, he shouldn’t have a key anymore.

Trying to use your apartment as a $15 hotel is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever heard, and I agree that it shows this person has no judgment at all or no care for your personal well-being or possessions. Either that, or she was deliberately trying to get you killed by a hobo.

I lean towards the hobo theory myself.

With the additional info you’ve provided, I see no reason for the friend to have a key at all. If he needs to show the furniture or sell it, he can do it while you’re home.

I do not like people in my space so I would volunteer to sell/ship her stuff (which would cost me a lot of time and effort) just so no one else in the city has a key.

If she really want neighbour to do it, he will have to abide your schedule to show people stuff/pick stuff up.

What are you going to do with the old roommate’s furniture when the new roommate moves in? I think I would try to think of a way to get rid of it, perhaps by giving it to the across the hall person.

Count your blessings, she could’ve tried to rent it out by the hour, with the guy across the hall managing the couples renting the room…

As I said, the old roommate is trying to sell it on Craigslist. I don’t know what she will do if she can’t sell it in time.

After I informed my roommate that I now had her key, she has started sending me frantic messages about giving it back to her friend. When I sent a polite message suggesting that her friend-across-the-hall keep her stuff in his apartment and that she send me the people who were interested in buying her stuff, she freaked out and just now sent me a message threatening me with the police and/or our management company! What a nutcase.

I promptly informed her that in America, the police don’t give a shit about her ridiculous problems. :stuck_out_tongue: Also, that our management company probably wouldn’t be overjoyed that she was attempting to rent out our house by the day. Also, that unless I agreed to let her sublet the apartment, she would be on the hook for rent until July. I’m sorry that it had to escalate to this, but really–it looks like I’m DEFINITELY not giving back the key now.

Of course, I’m still fine with this other girl subletting the room, but doesn’t she realize that I have most of the power in this situation? What a nutter.

This. Totally this. Your now-in-NJ roomie may be entitle to access since she paid rent until April, but not some other random guy.

She has two choices,

  1. Her friend can schedule “furniture viewings” when you are home.
  2. He can house all of her crap at his place and show it off any time he likes.

ETA: At my old place, the building management would have gone apeshit if they found out anyone was subletting the room on a nightly basis.

Not paranoid at all. I wouldn’t want strangers traipsing through my home when I’m not there and haven’t vetted them ahead of time.

Neighbor can have access to the apartment when you are there to give it to him. That is a perfectly reasonable way to accommodate them. If he can’t work with your schedule to sell the furniture and retrieve the luggage (why didn’t she just give him the luggage to hold onto until shipping in the first place?), that’s not your problem. She may deserve access to her stuff, but she’s not there, and there’s no good reason to allow strangers to access it. If they want unlimited access to the stuff, yes, he can store it in his place instead. Your safety is more important than her stuff, frankly.

I wouldn’t give a key to anyone who thought it was okay to let strangers in my home behind my back without even asking me how I felt about it. Doing so indicates that ex-roommate and neighbor are either really dumb, or real assholes.

Wait a sec.

You ACCEPTED her money for the March rent, but you consider the apartment 100% yours? You don’t get to keep other peoples money and then call all the shots. The place is half hers through March 31st. It doesn’t matter that she isn’t living there. She can rent 50 apartments all at once if she is so inclined. She paid for it. It’s up to her to use it or not.

If you want this all on your terms, then give her back the March rent she paid you. Right now you are stopping someone who has rightfully paid for the premises from using them.

I don’t agree with this. She left the OP in the lurch. It sucks that the person she found to replace her and that the OP is okay with can only move in in a month, but the OP agreed to live with her, not her and anyone she can find on Craigslist.

Wrong. SHE is allowed to use the apartment. SHE is allowed to live in the apartment, because she is on the lease. No one else. Under my lease, subletting is not permitted unless I agree. The management company made this very clear. I signed a lease agreement with my roommate, not random crazy woman from Craigslist.

And I don’t consider the apartment 100% mine–if she comes back from New Jersey, she’s welcome to move back in. I will, of course, give her the key. She’s not allowed to let random strangers traipse through my apartment while neither of us is around. I will let her use the apartment by facilitating any time her friend wants to come in and sell her stuff/send her stuff off, but I’m not giving some random guy a key to my apartment.

Not at all. If she wanted to come back I’m sure the OP would have no issue handing her back her key but in a shared house (or even technically in any rental) situation you can’t just give someone else your rights. Ie, guy across the hall and random CL renters.

Almost forgot, to the OP. Keep the key.


Nutter it is.

Like Tanaqui says, SHE has the right to access the apartment, not random people she gives the key to. I think the neighbour taking the stuff or Tanaqui giving him access to show it (when he’s home) is perfectly reasonable - the ex-roommate is NOT being reasonable, expecting Tanaqui to be okay with not knowing who is in his apartment.

The rent by the day thing was weird, too - if you have to jam on a lease and it costs you a month’s rent, that’s the cost of making that decision. Too bad, so sad.

ETA: Forgot to say, yeah, keep the key. This is getting too weird.

Are your keys special “Do Not Copy” security keys? If not, it is possible that your roommate and/or neighbor have already made additional copies. You may want to explain the situation to your landlord and ask to have the lock rekeyed. Anyone on the lease can pick up a new key in person from the landlord.

If you can afford it, give her back 66% of the March rent, get her name off the lease and pay the rent yourself. You can arrange for someone else to share the remainder of the lease yourself if you need help to pay the rent. The apartment is half hers as long as she is paying rent. You can’t totally stop her from allowing others access to the apartment, but your lease probably precludes her from subletting. If you can prove she did that, it may even be grounds for removing her from the lease. You can expect the landlord to cooperate with you, as long you keep paying the rent. They don’t want to end up with both of you running out on the remainder of the lease.

Wrong. You don’t get it. She doesn’t need to “come back from New Jersey” or “move back in” to have a key. She is on the lease and she paid the rent. That makes that key HER key, not your extra key.

I will let her use the apartment” but “I don’t consider the apartment 100% mine” WTF? The hell you don’t consider it 100% yours. What was that about “*traipse through my apartment *”. Shouldn’t that be our apartment? And “*When I sent a polite message suggesting that her friend-across-the-hall keep her stuff in his apartment *”. That was because the place is still half hers until March 31st, but you would prefer it if her stuff wasn’t there, right?

You BOTH are on the lease. You BOTH paid the rent. You don’t have the right to dictate the rules that affect the BOTH of you. You BOTH have to come to an agreement on things like who gets access, not just you making the decisions.

Please quote where I said it was ok to use the apartment as a hotel, because I can’t find it. My condo has by-laws that prevent any unit from being used as short term rental, as do almost every apartment or condo I have ever seen. My problem is with your it’s all mine and I can do whatever I want and she has to do whatever I say because I didn’t have enough experience or foresight to realize that when I rent a place with someone it’s a two-way street and ground rules have to be worked out in advance so issues about basic things like friends having keys don’t come up later.

Frankly, I’d change the locks, and let the roomie know that she needs to tell you if she comes back and wants to use the place. And let the neighbor know that the old key doesn’t work any more, too. Yes, she is still legally a tenant in that apartment, but that does NOT give her the right to sublet it without your knowledge (especially by the night!) and it doesn’t give her the right to hand out keys to anyone without your knowledge. It certainly doesn’t mean that a NON tenant (and non landlord) has the right to show the place to people without your knowledge, and it doesn’t mean that a non tenant/non landlord has the right to enter the place to get stuff out of the apartment. She can have this buddy keep her stuff in HIS place, where HE can take charge of it. Or she can continue to keep her stuff in the apartment, until her lease is up.

If Divine wants to live there until the end of March, then Divine needs to come up with both the rent and security deposit in advance. Couch surfers are generally not solvent, and a lot of them are also opportunistic thieves. Not all of them, but there’s plenty of horror stories about them.

Now, Absentee Roommie might have come from a culture where it’s OK to casually rent out an apartment by the night, and OK to hand out keys to anyone. But she’s in a different society now, with different rules.

Agreed. Absentee Roomie’s payment of rent grants her the right to access the apartment herself. The fact that she’s made it geographically impossible to do so was her own choice. It does not give her a right to distribute keys/access to anyone else without the express consent of everyone on the lease (and this would remain true even if she were still living there).

Absentee Roomie has made a series of choices which makes it difficult for her to manage/sell her belongings long-distance, but again, this was her choice, and she needs to grow up and live with the consequences. She has a number of options which don’t involve riding roughshod over the rights and safety of the other legal tenant. It may be less convenient, but oh well – she’s the one who chose to move out.