De gustibus non est disputandum. Except for root beer, which is not a taste, but a molecule. Root beer is an empirical fact. This has been demonstrated by science. In this instance, America is objectively and measurably in the right. The rest of the world may believe otherwise, but that is an accident of history. Root beer forgives them.
On a fundamental chemical level, America equals root beer. As amber was to the Prussians, as Tyrian purple to the Phoenecians-- so too is America enriched on all levels-- cultural, technological, pornographic-- by its vast naturally occurring root beer deposits.
Americans have the highest concentration of root beer-fueled cellular organelles of any nation on Earth.
Even Americans who hate root beer secretly love it in their sleep.
When the Catholic rite of transubstantiation is practiced in American churches, ~.07 ul/l of sacramental wine is instantaneously converted to root beer. The religious significance of this effect has been hotly debated by beverage theologians, but the Book of Root Beer (long attributed to Luke the Physician) has been historically regarded as apocryphal.
Root beer is the only soft drink detected in interstellar space.
The Aztecs sacrificed over 250,000 people to the Sun-god Huitzilopoctil every year. They had no root beer.
Root beer unlocks your ear-wiggling muscles.
If you were born with a tail, drinking root beer will cause it to regenerate like a lizard’s.
Root beer wards off the levinbolt.
Root beer knows the future.
Will you accept root beer into your life?