Rose thorn rant (somewhat pathetic)

Ok rose, I know you want thorns for personal protection, but does a thorn in my thumb have to hurt quite that much?

It’s not big, it’s not clever, and I chopped you down and burned you up just the same - ha ha ha :stuck_out_tongue:

Turn and run!
Nothing can stop them,
Around every river and canal their power is growing.
Stamp them out!
We must destroy them,
They infiltrate each city with their thick dark warning odour.

Oh wait, I was thinking of something else.

“A rose by any other name would still make your thumb hurt like a motherfuck.”

Every rose has its thorn. And every night has its dawn. And every cowboy sings a sad sad song. Stupid fucking cowboys.

Did you know that you are 22 times more likely to prick the person who waters and prunes you than you are to prick a grazing animal?

It’s not big, it’s not clever, but it seems to have outwitted you. Thorns: slightly smarter than ticker.

And here I opened this thread hoping for a Golden Age/Silver Age comic heroine pitting.

Years ago I lived in Mexico for two months. Every morning there was this rooster that woke me up at 3. In the end, I ate him for dinner.

I would have thought breakfast.

Eh…sounds like the rose was only trying to defend itself. Seems like you did more damage to it than it did to you.


Would that my prick had such sting.

That’ll learn it.

Sufficient to cause women joy in chopping it off and burning it?

That’s the thing that gets me. I water and prune the roses to make them happy, but they still prick me.

It’s like an abusive relationship. Maybe we should form a support group.

I don’t know what you’re driving at, but a rose has a god-given right to keep and bear thorns for personal protection.

Flowers are weak creatures. They are naïve. They reassure themselves as best they can. They believe that their thorns are terrible weapons.

But the rose’s (Mendelian) right has to be balanced with ticker’s right to bare arms. At the very least, roses should be compelled to use child safety corks and be subject to a seed check.

That’s fine for the pansies that live in their well-tended gardens, and never consider anyone else’s experience. But a rose that lives way at the back of the lawn, where the woods encroach, is going to have a different opinion.

I think the general tone of this thread is best suited for MPSIMS.