I am a big guy, and I’ve rarely been asked “How much do you weigh?” except from medical professionals. On those occaisions that someone asks who has no obvious reason to my mind my answer is always the same: “Too damned much, thank you.” Usually they clue in, then, that I don’t care to hear about all the health problems associated with being overweight. I’ve never understood how these people think I’ve gone through 30 plus years of life without learning this before.
I’m another one who thinks that specifics of pay are not appropriate for strangers to be asking for, nor even family in many cases. (My grandmother used to try to ask me how much my father was making - and would never accept that I didn’t have exact figures, and didn’t think I had a need to know exact figures.) I’ll ask why they need that information, and if it’s looking for the general pay scale, I’ll share generics, but never my info.
A lot of companies have “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policies regarding salaries. I have personally heard of companies where you could be fired for telling anyone else what your salary is. How is The Man going to keep us all down if we run around telling each other what we make, so we can make decisions based on that (like quitting because you found out the recent-hire was hired at twice your salary)? I’ll tell any co-worker what I’m making at any time. I’m funny that way.
As for the rude personal questions, my least favourite is “Why don’t you have kids?” We’ve pretty much decided on a nice, neutral “We’re really not interested in children”, and anyone who pushes beyond that is moving into the danger zone.
A close second is “When is the baby due?” (I’m a little overweight, yeah). You’d think people would know better by now, but no. There really is no good answer for that - that one is so far over the line, everyone ends up feeling bad.
I have no problem with being asked my age. Wait, I should qualify that: unless you’re a potential employer. Asking me personal shit like that (and my marital status and whether I have children) is illegal, regardless of your motives and it annoys the hell out of me.
How much something costs? No problem. I assume you’re considering a similar purchase.
How much I (used to) earn? Where I live, everyone is constantly on the lookout for another job. I assume you’re asking because you’re considering my (former) company. No problem.
My weight? You’ve got to be kidding. Who the hell asks that besides a doctor? What possible reason could you have for asking? I would likely reply that I was somewhere between 75lbs and 500lbs.
Most annoying question? I was on medical leave from my last job and dozens of people I barely knew thought I should tell them why. Kindly f**k off. If you were at all important to me, you would have that information.
My niece, who is white, is married to a black guy. They have an adorable daughter and my niece tells me that at least twice a month, some idiot in a grocery store or shop or on the street will ask, “is she adopted?” My niece’s daughter is 9 years old and she understands exactly what they are getting at!
Yeah…I guess that would be my definition of a rude question.
I was talking on the phone for the first time with someone I’d met online, and he asked me what size bra I wear! Excuse me??? So I asked him how big his penis is. Suffice to say we did not date.
I don’t think anyone needs to know what I make. Fortunately, I’m a federal employee, so if someone is interested in what our pay scale is, I can point to a web site.
No one needs to know what I paid for my house or what it’s worth now - if it’s that important, there are ways of finding it out, but I don’t feel obligated to share.
And my sex life, our family size, health issues, and similarly personal topics fall under “If it was any of your business, I’d have told you already.”
But, like I said in the other thread, my age is no secret. And depending upon how it’s phrased or who’s asking, I may answer other “personal” questions. Or not.
Most of the time I have no problem telling people to fuck off if they get too personal but I think the only question that really bothers me is “Are you asleep?”
My ex used to ask me that (big reason why he is an ex). How the hell do you respond in a way that someone with limited mental capacities will understand? “No you dumbfuck…I am checking my eyelids for holes.” WTF!
I was talking to a cow-orker the other day. I was saying that my mother married very soon after my father’s death 96 months) to one of his oldest friends. Her question? “Were they having an affair before your father died?” Now that’s rude. And no, she wasn’t having an affair with him. He’d lost his wife to cancer and was living on the other side of the country.
Oy, both extremely immature teens and adults have asked me the same rude questions:
1. Do you have a boyfriend?
For your information, I don’t. Who needs a guy when I have several girl friends? And if you want to go ahead and assume that I’m a lesbian who gets turned on by group sex, then fine.
2. What’s your bra size?
Why? Will knowing my bra size fill that empty head of yours? (Don’t worry, no adult has ever asked me this. Just other teens)
3. How much do your parents make?
I suggest you ask them yourself and even if you do, I seriously doubt that doing so will give you any information because any discussion of their business could lead to serious legal liabilities. Good day.
I haven’t gotten it in years (I’ve finally filled out in my old age) but I used to get “Do you eat?” or “Do you have an eating disorder?” all the freaking time. First of all, what a rude question! Second, what possible good answer is there? Third, when I said, truthfully, “No, I just have a high metabolism” they’d always look at me with that sympathetic “we both know what’s going on” look. Argh!
I knew I should have clarified that but I have actually been asked if I am a “dwarf” or “midget” so that is why I used those terms. No offense meant.
Nowadays, I sometimes get asked if I am a hobbit. I just reply that I am. It’s just easier that way.
More than once, I’ve met someone for the first time, who, upon learning that I was married, asked, “Is your marriage happy?”
What are you, my therapist? Who the hell would consider that an appropriate question? Next time I should respond, “Actually, no. My wife is a schizophrenic meth addict. She writes weird shit all over the walls and once tried to poison my cat. Wanna see a copy of the restraining order?”
Nah, I wasn’t offended. A LOT of people don’t know about that one is all.
I was once accused of being a hobbit in an elevator at DragonCon – I was wearing a fantasy/Renaissancy sort of outfit, and there were three orcs in there when I got on. Carrying pizza. I had to show them my shoes to prove that I wasn’t a hobbit. I’m sure hobbit is far tastier than pizza, so it’s a good thing I wasn’t barefoot!
First time today. Thanks, CG.
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