I’m putting this in IMHO because I have a feeling it isn’t enraged enough for the Pit.
Why is it that in certain circumstances, people lose all sense of decorum?
Prime example: I have red hair. At least a hundred zillion times a month people ask me different variations of the question, “Is your hair NATURALLY red?”
Look, that question is rude. It’s not a big enough deal that I’m going to call you on it in public (depending on how you ask it) but it’s still pretty rude. If my hair IS naturally red, I’ll feel annoyed at the constant questioning of my goddamn hair colour. If it isn’t, I’ll feel annoyed because maybe I’d like people to believe it IS natural.
Furthermore, MEN: asking if my hair is natural isn’t just rude, it’s creepy. Particularly when you ask in such a way as to find out if my pubic hair is red. It’s none of your goddamn business. Why the fuck should I assist you in picturing my gentialia? That’s disgusting and obnoxious.
And it’s not just hair colour, folks. When I was younger, I was very, very thin. I was just a naturally thin person. I’ve filled out more in the last three years, but all through high school and university I could eat all day and not gain an ounce.
Under whose system of etiquette is it okay to walk up to a stranger and say, “Are you anorexic”? That’s just as rude as going up to an overweight person and saying “Are you fat because you eat too much?”
And furthermore, why is it any of your business? You know whose business my hair colour and weight are? Mine. And maybe my husband’s. That’s about it. So buzz off.
Anyone else have examples of this kind of rude behaviour?
Re: tha hair thing: I agree that asking in that nasty way some guys have is rude, yes, but sometimes I think people are just asking out of curiosity. I get lots of questions about my hair, too - “Is it naturally curly?” Of course guys never ask me about that, they just don’t care! But I know that nasty sort of look. And it is kind of rude, again depending on who’s asking and how it’s being asked.
As for the anorexic comment, that is just nasty and downright mean. Strangers have actually walked up to you and said this? shakes head My Og.
All that to one side, I’ve seen your pic, Carlyjay, and if it’s Ok for one girl to say to another, I think you’re quite lovely. I know it doesn’t help and often is more of a curse than otherwise but that’s the way the cookie crumbles unfortunately.
I’d hate it, too – especially the pubic insinuation. I’ve heard so many stories about what a trial it is to have red hair.
But I also think that because so many people dye their hair red, people are curious if there is, in fact, a dye that can achieve the gorgeous red that your hair is! It’s still rude to ask such personal questions, of course – but that never has stopped people from asking.
Anyway, here’s the thing: I’m horribly jealous of people who have red hair. I think it’s gorgeous. If yours is natural, you’re so lucky. If it’s not, then the fact that people think it could be means you’ve got an amazing hair dye there. Either way, beautiful hair!
When my sister introduced me to her new husband, she said “Honey, this is my sister, Cyn. That’s not her natural hair color.”
Like those are her teeth!
She got married in Nevada a week before her son’s wedding. She can be a touch rude…
Even back in my drinking days, I can’t imagine ever being that nasty. That’s just creepy.
I’m frequently asked if I’m wearing underwear, by complete strangers sometimes. Don’t know what’s worse, frankly - strangers or acquaintances. Either way, if you don’t want to discuss your underthings with random people, don’t quiz anyone about theirs.
Men in kilts must be exhibitionists, right? Or maybe I bought a custom fitted, clan specific, properly pleated $800 skirt from Scotland and have never heard the joke about the old ladies and the blue ribbon.
By Og, the next time I’m going to ask about hers. “I’ll tell after you do. Gotcherself a thong under there, lassie? Nah, yer a granny-panty type, aintcha? C’mon, drop 'em and show it!”
Never asked anyone if that was their natural hair color, but MYOFB would be a good enough response.
I’m frequently asked about my weight, but I’ve also had a gastric bypass, so I expect it. I’m happy to tell anyone who asks how much I’ve lost, but you better have back door and refrigerator privileges in my house before I’ll politely and correctly answer how much I weigh at the moment.
Redheaded male checking. I don’t get the “Is that your natural color?” or the implied “Does the carpet match the drapes?” stuff. I used to get irked as a kid because people were always saying “Where’d you get that red hair?” (The rest of my immediate family has brown hair).
What’s really fun, though, is if you have a redheaded baby. And then when strangers ask, “Did his father have red hair?” you get to riposte, “I don’t know! He never took off his hat!”
Tom? Is that you? My boyfriend is a redhead, and his response is that he is an extraterrestrial who was unaware of Mendelian genetics when choosing his host family.
I used to get bent out of shape over “Where did you get your red hair?” as a child, and I’d just say “I was born with it!” When I got older, I started to realize that it’s because it’s really not a common colour, and that I was lucky to have it. I don’t think it’s creepy or weird when men ask, and I don’t think it’s rude when women ask. Most women just think it’s pretty and want to know how I got it, if it’s artificial. Men just think it’s pretty. For some reason, some men have a thing for redheads. I do understand it’s fairly unique; if I see someone with a particularly lovely shade of hair colour, I will tell them that I think it’s pretty, and they will usually offer that it’s real or dyed.
However, the carrot top references have got to stop.
I’ve got a couple. The most usual happens immediately after I introduce myself: “Is that your real name??? Really!???”
No, it’s an alias I often use to throw off suspicion when I am planning to murder complete nimrods such as yourself.
The other is: “OMG, you’re so white! Have you ever thought about tanning? The spray on tans are really good now!”
NO, no I haven’t considered fakin’ bakin’. Purposely developing a hide resembling badly cured leather pockmarked with skin cancer is not, IMHO, a remarkably good idea, fuck you very much. And again, no, I am also not eager to resemble the oompa loompas, because no matter how “advanced” the spray or rub on tans are, they do not insure against user problems, so kindly piss off, or wear sun glasses if you would like to look at me. But mostly just piss off.
Apparently I have some latent hostility. Thanks for letting me vent!
Personally, I find it rude when people assume that I’m part of their religion. The christians in my office have this annoying habit whenever I might offhand mention about some problem or issue that “I should talk to God about it or let God handle it.” That gets really irritating.
I used to get that a lot. I’m perfectly happy with my pale white skin, thankyouverymuch. Besides, when your years of tanning beds leave you wrinkly and skin cancer-y, I’ll still have my lovely, much less wrinkled, much healthier skin. So there!
I get it less now, since my upper body got fairly tanned (as healthily as possible, through suntan lotion) while I spent a lot of time outdoors over the summer working with horses. It’s still an issue when people see my ghostly pale legs though (always wore pants when riding). For the record, I’m not going to fake ‘n’ bake them, and I’m not going to turn them orange. Deal with it.
My wife gets the hair-colour questions, and she’s a brunette – that so-dark-it’s-almost-black type colour. Of course, she’s also in her 60s (and on a bad day, in an unforgiving light, she almost looks it) so people seem to assume that it can’t be natural, but of course it is. I think she wouldn’t mind the question if people wouldn’t all but call her a liar to her face when she tells them the truth.
I know it doesn’t help and often is more of a curse than otherwise but that’s the way the cookie crumbles unfortunately.
Even back in my drinking days, I can’t imagine ever being that nasty. That’s just creepy.