I don’t think this would necessarily do either (increase scoring or ruin the game.) If offside were abolished, teams would simply cope by stationing a defender near the goalkeeper at all times. The defender’s job would be to cut off long-range pass attacks.
I think the defending team wouldn’t station not one, but several defenders at the goal line, I’m afraid. Also the high art of the killer pass at the exact moment would die out. It would slow down the game. I agree that it wouldn’t lead to higher scores.
Tennis: remove the net.
Baseball option #1 - make it more like cricket. Put home plate at the center of the field, and all balls are fair balls - no foul territory. (you might need a larger field, and maybe more fielders)
Baseball option #2 - balls hit out of the park are considered foul.
The midfield would be wide open, so it’d be really easy to advance the ball until you got to the opposite box. I think it would look more like basketball offensively where the middle of the court is bypassed all the time.
Mad Magazine’s “Basebrawl” solved this by proposing a solid metal ball.
Anyone remember the South Park guy’s movie Baseketball? The sport was a mashup of baseball, basketball, and shit-talking.
Which can be balanced by a solid metal bat.
And gloves made from neodymium.
Modified foxhunting:
“Release the sloths!”
Speaking of offside, one sure way to destroy basketball and American football would be to implement the equivalent of soccer’s offside: No forward pass can be thrown without at least two defenders being between the receiver and the basket (or goal line) at the time the ball was released.
It would be utterly nightmarish.
I played youth hockey through my teen years at an away rink with square corners. Gave the phrase “working for the puck in the corner” a literal meaning.
Also, said rink was outdoors (no roof), no glass, no lines on the ice (just on the boards) and no doors at the benches.
No offside in ice hockey either.
Soccer: any players who flop, excuse me, are knocked down and don’t get to their feet within 30 seconds must exit the game for at least 10 minutes and be evaluated by non-team doctors before being allowed to return.
The clock winds down instead of advancing. No referee discretion on length of the game. No “stoppage time”.
All games ending regulation in a tie are decided by penalty kicks, with the exception that all games ending in 0-0 ties in regulation result in both teams being docked 2 points in the standings.
Instead of having ads on their uniforms, all players on a team scoring a goal do a complete circuit of the field carrying giant commercial banners for their sponsor.
It’d be lots more fun, especially watching purists tear their hair out.
In light of recent Covid concerns, the NFL should implement a mandatory 6 foot (er, 2 yards, in football parlance) distance rule between athletes during this season’s games.
Steeeeeeeeeeeve Perry
Instead of free throws for penalities in the NBA, instead all personal fouls are treated much like in Hockey by putting players in a penalty box.
Speaking of free throws, it would be absolutely hilarious if the NBA adopted something like soccer’s penalty shootout: Have tied games decided by a free-throw shootout. Each team takes turns making one free throw at a time. The moment one team misses one but the other team makes theirs, the game is over.
Affirmative Action for the NBA/NFL
No single race can have more than a 40% majority in the leagues.
And in a likewise countermove, apply all of basketball’s conduct and fighting rules to hockey!
“I am a fan of old-school football, and I want America to remember what the game was like in the old days, why it became the country’s number one sport. Accordingly, the forward pass is once again completely illegal, effective next season.”
Combine basketball and dodgeball so the player with the ball can dribble, pass, shoot or fire the ball at an opponent. If the ball hits the opponent, it counts as a foul on the opponent. But if the opponent catches the ball or knocks it away by hand, it counts as a foul against the thrower.
Bill Veeck did that with portable fencing back in 1947, changing the dimensions by 15 feet, but the American League put the kibosh on that next season with a rule change making outfield dimensions permanent.