Running into unpleasant people from your past

When I was 16 years old, I got my first “real” job working at McDonald’s – real, in the sense that I wasn’t being paid under the table. I spent two years there in the upper-class section of downtown LA. The employees were almost entirely of Latin heritage; there were three of us who were black. This was not a big deal for the most part. We all got along, except for my supervisor, Laura. For some reason that I never quite understood, she had a problem with the black employees. It was clear in the preferential treatment she gave to her other employees when it came to breaks, reviews and raises, and also just in the manner she addressed me.

Despite having many customers who made a point of coming to my line every day because they liked me, I only saw one 10-cent raise during my entire tenure there. I’d inquired about raises fairly often, and she would tell me that one “was coming” and that she’d talk to the store owner about it, but that never happened until I spoke to him directly about it. She would constantly nag me about nitpicky things that no other employees were ever reprimanded about. I even had customers ask me what her problem was, but I was not very assertive and never complained (not to mention the owner turned a deaf ear to just about anything that didn’t directly affect his pocketbook). It got to the point where I would get a talking-to for going to the bathroom too often. She would even make it unpleasant for me to order my own lunch with the employee discount.

As I started to become bitter over time, I engaged in what I know now to be inappropriate behavior. Specifically, I was friends with a security guard who came in fairly often, and I started giving him free food. I just didn’t care. But after a couple of months of this, Laura caught me in the act. No question that I was in the wrong, but I’ve never seen a person so happy to nail someone. She pointed to me with a HUGE grin on her face and said, “AHA! I got you!” She couldn’t stop smiling, and she jumped on the phone to report me to the owner. I was sent home for the day. The next time I reported for work, she was ever so sorry to tell me that they had to lay me off. With a very sweet smile, she handed me my last paycheck and “wished me luck.” The whole thing was sickening. I had given my enemy exactly what she’d wanted – an excuse to be rid of me.

So fast forward to last night, some 14+ years later. Jakeline and I go out for dinner at IHOP. And just who should happen to be our hostess/waitress? It was really weird, the range of emotions I went through when I realized who she was. My immediate reactions tended toward the petty side. I remarked to myself and to my wife how this woman had gotten to looking old and haggard. I laughed thinking about how she was making probably a quarter of what I make now. But I also found myself wondering if and how she had changed over those years. She looked like she’d led a rough life because she had seemed so young and perky, with fiery eyes, when I’d last known her, and none of that was present in the person who stood before me at IHOP. Her entire demeanor was so different, and I actually found myself feeling sorry for her without quite knowing why.

I didn’t say anything to her to suggest that I knew who she was, and I don’t know whether or not she recognized me. But in talking with Jakeline about it later, it was strange to realize just how much seeing her had affected me. So many unpleasant memories I hadn’t thought about in over a decade. I find myself unsure that I want to go back in there because I was just generally uncomfortable with having her serve me.

Anyway, there’s no real point to this (which is why this is in MPSIMS), but I figured I’d share and open it up to anyone else who has had an encounter with someone unpleasant from their past.

Oh…kind of on theme. There were two girls I went to elementary school, and we pretty much hated each other there. I mean, when you’re in elementary school, what more excuse do you need other than that she was a girl and I was a boy? It was the usual taunting and teasing that went along with being kids. This would have been between the ages of about 9 and 12.

When I was 19 and in community college, I ran into the two of them on campus, and my reaction was, “Wow, hey!” Their reaction? “Oh God, Asimovian! Ew!” :confused: I mean, crimeny, we were KIDS! Did they think I was the same person as I was when I was 12?

Oh well. :slight_smile:

I think I might have been the unpleasant person from someone else’s past, actually. I was a giant jackass/idiot in high school, and I’m kind of ashamed of it now. When I run into someone I knew 10 years ago, I want to say “I’ve changed! I promise! Look, I even have a happy family and everything!” but of course that would be followed by really awkward silence.

How in the world did you resist the urge to point at her and yell, “AHA! Life got you!”?
(after the meal, of course)
Come on. Cash in some of those karma chips, you tightwad… :slight_smile:

I was engaged to a girl in college (weren’t we all?) back in about 1967. She shit all over me, got pregnant with another guy, ugly breakup, blahblahblah. Never looked back. Fast forward to about three years ago when I get an email from her. Her daughter found me on the internet. Cue shrieking violin music. 35 years? Are you shitting me?

Her daughter found you? Are you sure the woman got pregnant by another guy???

Enfant Terrible, don’t think it didn’t cross my mind. A few times. :slight_smile:

Let’s see… There’s the popular girl who would never give me the time of day that ended up giving me a hernia exam a few years back.

On the other side of the spectrum, there was a girl I was coworkers with, and she thought it would be nice to tell me EVERYTHING that was going on in her life. I thought we were friends. Turned out we had a mutual acquaintance (whom she had no idea I knew) that she would talk about the l"oser she worked with, Shecky." Finally, years later I happened to see her in the supermarket. “Shecky, you look just the same as 10 years ago!” “Thanks! Are you pregnant?”

Awesome.

I’m a petty, vindictive bastard… and I enjoyed every second of it, and would probably do it again if I had the chance.

In high school I got into a lot of trouble. So much so that I didn’t actually graduate, but instead dropped out and got a G.E.D. and went to work. During this same timeframe, I had a girlfriend.

Who dumped me because, in her words, “You’re never going to amount to anything. You can’t even graduate high school. I’m going to college. I’m doing something with my life, and you’re just dragging me down.”

Eh. I wasn’t really hurt by it – at that point in my life, I was so used to being kicked that she would have had to have come up with something a lot more original to make it really sting, y’know? – but it was still a bit of a blow.

Fast forward, um… six years, I think it was. I’m working as a consultant, at the princely rate of $200/hour. I was making more then than I had ever before, I was fairly well known in the local business community, that sort of thing. Not a VIP, but solidly in the upper middle. Those were good times.

I swing into a restaurant – Olive Garden – for lunch one day. As I’m finishing my meal, my waitress comes up and tells me that she’s going on break, but Linda will take care of anything I need.

Linda, of course, is the name of my ex. And it was the same Linda. She stopped in her tracks, staring at me open-mouthed and everything. It was great. I looked right at her, added a $5 to the tip, and said, “Here. This’ll help with that college education you were so proud of.”

I hope she cried. :slight_smile:

At my high school 25th reunion a few years ago, I ran into several people of whom I had unpleasant memories. No need to go into the details of thier unpleasantness, they are largely the same things many of you remember from your high school years. Guys who tried to bully me. Girls who treated me like something that crawled and left a slime trail. You know, the usual.
It was kind of sad. Most of those guys went on to dead-end bluecollar jobs and were obviously struggling. Some of those girls were heavyset matrons and consumed with embarassment by it. Others of those girls were trying to dress and act like it was still 1980 and they were still hot young chix.
All of them greeted me as a friend they hadn’t seen in forever. Why? I guess that I was part of their memories of what were the best days of their lives. As much of a hateful, kick-somebody-in-the-nuts-while-they’re-down SOB as I can be, I didn’t have it in me to salt the wounds time had inflicted on them.

Enfant, I think the old saying, “Living well is the best revenge” is definately apropos for Asimovian. Just knowing how much better off he is and how crappy she is may certainly be enough.

Although it wouldn’t be for ME.

Mosier, you and I are sort of the same here. It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I began to realize what a dick I have been for most of my life. Since I was the loner in my school, it’s sort of hard to have conversations with old classmates.

Aw, come on. That’s just mean.

Nice!

When I was in college I was engaged to this guy that I was completely in love with at the time. He was sweet and funny and pretty wonderful for the first 9-10 months of our relationship and I just knew he was the one. At that point though something changed. I’m still not sure what happened, but he became lazy and apathetic. He quit both of his jobs (one as a security guard and one at the local pizza place where I had been a manager before we started dating) and spent all day laying around the house drinking beer. I actively tried to help him find a new job but he just didn’t want to put forth the effort. He seemed angry and bitter and didn’t want to spend time with me anymore. We tried really hard to make it work but it just wasn’t going to happen and we broke up. It was a loud, crying, and screaming kind of break up too so there was no getting past it to try and be friends.

I finished school the next year and moved out of my parents house, got a job paying a decent wage and surrounded myself with friends and coworkers who were fun and ambitious. I was pretty happy. I kept moving up, earning more and more money and finding more fulfilling positions at work. I decided it was time for me to move across the country and planned for a year to make it happen.

About a week before I moved I went to the new pizza place they had built across the street from my apartment complex and saw him behind the counter cutting pizza. We just kind of looked at each other like deer in the headlights of an oncoming semi and then acted as if we didn’t know one another at all. I picked up my pizza and left, but I felt sad for him. I had moved on and managed to do all these incredible things with my life, I was a week away from moving to New York and there was nothing but sunshine and opportunity in front of me, and here was this man I had loved with every ounce of my being struggling at a minimum wage job, 50 lbs heavier than the last time I saw him, looking sad and defeated by life. I wanted so badly to apologize to him, to tell him that if I had been more aware of things I would have realized he was going through some sort of depression or something when we were together and tried harder to get him help. I wanted to tell him it isn’t too late to get an education and get a job where he doesn’t go home smelling like pepperoni. I wanted to tell him a lot of things but instead I took my pizza home and finished packing boxes. I wish things were better for him but I can’t make him take control of his life and things ended so badly between us that nothing I could have said would have made a difference to either one of us.

At my 20th high school reunion I ran into an old boyfriend who had treated me like shit.

I took a secret delight in pretending I didn’t recognize him when he came up to me and said, “Hi, ivylass, remember me?”

My ex-stepfather is scum. The last in his long series of offenses was cheating on my mother with a girl two years older than I was at the time. I was 16. They divorced and I didn’t see him for 10 years. He came to my brother’s wedding apparently with an invite.

I wish I could say that I put him in his place but we wound up avoiding each other the whole event. He knows exactly what I think of him so it’s not too surprising that he wasn’t eager to pursue conversation.

I realized the other day that I was the unpleasant person at my middle school. I wondered for at least a year (!) why it was so hard to find my old friends from middle school online and get them to talk to me, then I remembered The Incident in 8th grade. (No, I won’t tell the story. Sorry. It was a rough time.) I turned things around in high school, though, and thankfully went to one of those Trendy California Charter Schools where almost nobody from my middle school went.

When my husband and I first started dating, we ran into his ex. She is a few years older than he is and treated him like absolute shit. I’m nine years younger than he is. I was 19 at the time. So she was…30? And this is the type of woman for whom turning 30 is worse than dying.

We were with a few of his buddies and my youngest SiL, who is just a few months older than I am, at the pool hall. I still remember that I was wearing a really hot leopard print mini dress, and being 19 I was of course totally rocking it. His ex saw us and later cornered my SiL to ask if I was my husband’s new GF. SiL replied in the positive. “How old is she?” “Oh, she’s younger than me.” I guess the conversation got cut off really quick at that point.

My husband still grins about that to this very day (and this very day happens to be our wedding anniversary). She is a very sad woman that wasted her youth on meth addiction. She still tries to contact my husband once in a while. Once she even asked if he had “divorced that woman yet”. I don’t know whether to pity this woman or laugh at her. I admit, 7 times out of 10, I’m leaning toward the latter.

(Happy Anniversary!) :smiley:

Danke. :smiley:

At my first job (coffee shop), my manager quickly concluded that I was too stupid to be taught anything more challenging than clearing tables.

My co-workers had to intervene on my behalf, claiming I was a liability to work with because I wasn’t trained to use the cash register or to make drinks. She reluctantly trained me but doubted I’d amount to much, and made sure I knew she thought so at every opportunity.

(A friend of mine used to be a regular at that store but told me he stopped going because the manager was such a bee-yotch.)

Many years later I ran into her again on my lunch break from my policy job. She was working as a mall security guard.

I didn’t say anything, but I’m kicking myself. I should have thanked her for starting me off on such a rewarding career.

Nothing wrong with doing both. And of course, Happy Anniversary!!