But what about the tried-and-tested method of shooting people in the face (on Putin’s birthday!)
I tried smoking Toad in the Hole, but the gravy wouldn’t light.
“In Mother Russia, hospital window closes you.”
Yakov Smirnoff says:
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“Why don’t they have baseball in Russia? In Russia, no one is safe.”
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“Here you have American Express Card: ‘Don’t Leave Home Without It.’ In Russia, we have Russian Express Card: ‘Don’t Leave Home!’”
As Yakov Smirnoff once said to Johnny Carson, “I enjoy being in America; it’s fun, you know, because you have so many things we never had in Russia – like warning shots”.
That’s not very fast-acting, either.
Gravity very fast.
Why does gravity always get all the credit? Ground does all the work.
That’s deep.
A little hair of the frog?
Tragically that is what happens when you allow packs of feral windows to roam the streets - defenestrations galore. It’s a shame.
So that’s where my window ran off to.
I can see clearly now, the pane is gone…
You win the thread.
No, the risk of creating a superhero is too great.
A terminal (velocity) illness obviously.
I wish I could remember where I got this quote:
“The victim tied himself to a chair, stabbed himself repeatedly, and threw himself out a third-floor window…twice. Authorities have ruled his death a suicide.”
There’s an old rule: It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end.
Like, 90% of the stuntman industry is built around that philosophy.
This really demonstrates the lack of freedom in the United States: in so many hospitals, office towers… there are no windows you can open.
Coincidence? Or. . .
Wrong Russian fell out of a window 
It’s hard to survive when you’re hit with an entire planet.