I was able to read the rest last night. I like the direction it is taking so far.
I am not a critic so I will just give you my gut feelings as I read it.
I got a few uh-oh this is reminding me of Yoda. I also got a few feels like the Matrix moments. Otherwise I thought the story line was clean and fairly unique.
I found it readable but not an “I can’t put it down”. If I had bought the book, I would definitely choose to continue reading.
… I am trying to provide some constructive criticism. I hope more about Steven and his background is provided as the story goes along. So far we have a little boy and a kick-ass assassin like fighter with access to cutting edge weapons. Big gap in how he got from A to B.
… The bad guys seem strangely strong and yet incompetent so far. Is this a case of strong smart leaders who prefer dumb help as it keeps down rebellion?
I think the story has an audience. The initial chapter’s over describing of the action scenes were already reduced in the later chapters. I think this is very good.
I would definitely be interested in reading more. I wish I had more constructive criticism for you. I am a story teller but a poor writer.
Thanks very much for taking the time, I too, while writing it, though that it came uncomfortably close to some Matrixy ideas. I’m not sure if that can be avoided as they’re both drawing on the same ‘source material’ to a degree. I’ll look over the text again and see what I can do.
Ahhh, thank you, I didn’t realize that the disconnect would be quite so strong. I did intend to tell a bit more about him in one of the Paths, maybe I need to shuffle that interlude closer to the front of the novel.
Essentially. Those guys who are at the forefront of Dominion are the real heavies, those who’ve stolen the Gnosis of many others and grown immensely powerful for it. Their foot soldiers are newly Awakened and hoping that they’ll get some of the scraps that fall from the table, they’re often used as a meatshield and little more, or as a ravening pack to drag down someone with force of numbers.
Maybe I have to clarify that too, thank you.
Great, thank you very much.
No worries, you’ve given me a few hints and definitely some constructive criticism, thank you very much for taking the time, I really appreciate it.
You are very welcome, I am glad if it helps. I think you can tell I am a Sci-Fi Geek.
Jim