(I’m not sure about the forum, but I think this is a poll…)
I teach Sunday school to 6th grade girls. And the prohibition against doing work on the Sabbath came up this morning, and they had questions, many of which I couldn’t answer.
Still, what I’d like to know, and to share with them next week, is what a typical Sabbath is like for a 10-12 year old girl that observes it. What she’d be doing and how she’d be spending her time on Friday afternoon, Friday night, and Saturday. I’d like to eradicate my own ignorance here.
I don’t keep the Shabbas in general, but I have done it from time to time, usually when staying with observant Orthodox Jews. I have found it to be a very calming and enjoyable experience. There’s a lot of eating and chatting, maybe going to shul, maybe learning some Torah. (The latter two are more likely for men, but for women or kids it’s not required.) Many ordinary activities are forbidden on the Shabbas, but I’ve found that if everyone is avoiding them, it’s not difficult to abstain. The idea is that the Shabbas is a complete separation from the craziness of the rest of the week, and IME, the restorative nature of a complete “day off” outweighs the inconvenience of not driving or writing or using electronics.
Just writing this and thinking of past Shabbas experiences makes me want to be more observant.
Kyla - I agree that Shabbat is a great place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there…
As to the OP - from what I have heard from (usually ex-) observant women, Friday noon and afternoon would be spent cooking and getting the house ready for dinner; then the women light Shabbat candles (before sundown!). After Shul, everyone sits down for a looong dinner (much as Kyla described). Then on Saturday itself there is Shul again, and mid-day dinner (Chulnt! :)), and a lot of spare time to kill… You don’t even do the dishes (because you must not prepare things for the regular week during Shabbat - it’s OK to wash a glass in order to have a drink now). Then after sundown there is the Havdala, and it’s back to the grindstone:(
Really kind of fun to take a day really off once in a while (although, traditionally, there is plenty of work for the ladies…), but, again, not something I’d like to go through week in and week out.
All the gender-specific stuff above is, of course, far less relevant in the case of Reform Jews.
Hope this helped. And you’ll probably get some fuller and more accurate descriptions from practicing Jews later…
Also, would daughters that age be expected to cook on Friday? Would they be expected to go to shul? Would they be allowed to visit their friends and hang out and talk or is it solely a family day? Could they, for example, play soccer in the backyard with their siblings or just do inside, quiet talking?
“Havdala” is a short ceremony done Saturday evening in order to differentiate (le-havdil in Hebrew) between Shabbat and the new week. Literally means “differentiation”.
As for the rest - I’m already waaaaay out of my depth. I’ll pass…
Since we are observant, and I happen to have an 11 1/2 year old daughter, I think I’m qualified to answer.
Friday afternoon - Come home from school, help clean or put away anything that needs to be put away. Usually vacuums the living room. She likes to bake, so she may bake a cake if there is time. She will also shower before Shabbos starts. Usually my wife is exhausted by the time I go to shule, so the house rule is “quiet time” until I get home. This means that all 3 kids (all girls) read quietly. I try to get them to come to shule with me, but it usually doesn’t work. After they light candles, the girls set the table before I come home.
Friday night - I come home from shule, we sing, and I give a bracha (blessing) to each kid. We eat dinner, we talk, we sing. One of the kids gives a d’var Torah (small talk about the Torah portion we will read in shule on Shabbos morning). We usually sing some more, and we’ll clean up before dessert. After dinner, I’ll usually play a board game with the girls before we go to sleep.
Saturday/Shabbos day - I leave for shule at about 8:10, and the girls come with Mrs. KVS at about 9:45. After services finish about 11:30, we may go home, or to another family for lunch. My daughter will almost walk over to her best friend’s house, or the friend may walk over to our house. They’ll hang out together (sometimes with other friends) until Shabbos ends. It just happens that this week, my daughter’s class was invited to a teacher’s home for lunch. This is not an unusual occurance, as the school the girls attend is relatively small.
We’re at the point that my kids are old enough to go to nearby friends without us, so Mrs. KVS and I can take a nap.
your last sentence really made me laugh. i’m russian orthodox, when a married couple mention napping on a sunday, they are def. trampling on the “no creation” part of the day of rest, with big, heavy, combat boots.
Yes, a favorite Hebrew play-on-words is that Shabbat (ShBT in Hebrew) is an acronym for Sheina Be’Shabbat - Ta’anug! (translation: Sleeping on Shabbat is bliss! And yes - the Double Entendre of “sleeping” works in Hebrew too ;))
Yes. Lishon im was adopted - lock, stock and barrel - from the English “to sleep with” (or from some other European language that uses the same construction? I’m not sure) - and means exactly the same, of course.
And it’s Yashen, not yoshen - sorry, but that one grates on my nerves every time I hear it (it’s very sub-par Hebrew, and it’s practically a ubiquitous mistake. Drives me nuts every time my children use it). Then again, it might be pronounced Yoshen in Ashkenazi (yiddish) pronounciation [Komotz aleph “O”] - while Modern Hebrew has adopted the “Sephardi” pronounciation [Kamatz aleph “Ah”] - so never mind…
I know that this won’t be answered until tomorrow night, at the earliest but…
Just out of curiosity, what kind of board game? I only ask because my best friend is very observant, and I’ve understood from her that playing cards or games with dice would be a violation of the sabbath. Is she being extremely strict in her interpretation or are you playing Chutes and Ladders or something that doesn’t involve cards or dice?
We spend a lot of weekends with her family, especially over holidays like Purim, Passover and Sukkot, and I like to be as aware of the practices of Shabbat as possible.
The girls’ favorties are chess, Mancala, Battleship (the old fashioned kind, without batteries), and Stratego. They play Kugel, which is a game like jacks, except there are no jacks and no ball - instead, there are 5 small cubes. They also like Twister, when they have friends over. I also shy away from card games on Shabbos.
Because this might be the next question: We don’t play Monopoly on Shabbos either. I don’t think there’s anything technically wrong with playing on Shabbos, but it just seems that playing with money - albeit fake - is not in the proper spirit.
