Sorry, I slide into and out of this reality so often It catches up to me.
Here, He’s Wilson, and actually collaborated with Tim Leary, instead of being famous for that knife duel at Esalen. :dubious:
Woah. Hardcore.
Am I the only one not getting why there’s so much emphasis on the boss’s race, why it’s colored the OP’s quote selections so much, and why the OP thinks Asians are too stupid and uneducated to have heard of any white writers or Alfred E. Neuman?
Wait a sec–you’re telling me they had college way back in 1983?!
Even better, if you work at a school and you have a printout of a student’s grade sheet with you and an intent look on your face, you look like you’re doing some real legwork. Especially if you’re walking fast; I make it a policy to walk quickly the entire time I’m at work, no matter what I’m doing. (As it happens, I almost always am doing some real legwork, but sometimes I really just want to take a couple of minutes to walk around.)
Awesome.
The best I ever managed was to plaster the bathroom wall with photocopied dobbsheads while I was in college.
IIRC - though I could be wrong - the OP is not living in the US but in one of the East Asian countries, perhaps Japan. So I wouldn’t expect your average Japanese person to be knowledgeable about Alfred E. Neumann/Mad Magazine, or necessarily a lot of other Western writers. The corporate culture might smile more on using Asian references/quotations, as well.
On the contrary dear, the Asians I work with are far more intelligent, earnest, and serious about business than any Americans I’ve dealt with. That’s why they’re selling you all your shit, takin’ your freefalling dollars and financing your (and your government’s) outta control credit card habit while you’re flippin’ figurative burgers in the service industry.
But that very earnestness wears on my nerves a bit at times. Hence, Alfred E. Neuman.
Pretty close, I’m working in Taiwan but with frequent interaction with Hong Kongers and mainland Chinese. Hardcore business, all the way.
Who actually describes the country they live in as “Asia”? Why not “Japan” or “Taiwan” or whatever? It just sounded like a comment on his race, since I’ve never heard of someone in Taiwan calling a boss/coworker/neighbor/whatever “my (Asian) _______”. And if we’re so knowledgeable about the Asian thinkers and writers mentioned in the OP, why would we assume that the average executive in East Asia is too stupid or uneducated to be familiar with Western writers? It all sounds a bit odd. I’m glad he’s just talking about a boss who lives in Asia, but it still leaves a funny taste in my mouth. Whatever, no big deal.
This is the most encouraging and refreshing thread that I’ve read in a long time! And I thought that real Americans had disappeared once and for all.
TGIF, you rascals!
How about someone whose company spans several different countries in . . . Asia?
Indeed, lucky thing I don’t care.
I usually go with leaving “phantom dumps” in the toilet. You take a crap in one stall and then go use the toilet paper in the other stall leaving a pristine poo.
Yeah but we’re cooler.
Anyway, I don’t know why anyone not born in the US before around oh, say 1975 would have heard of Alfred E. Neuman.
People refer to “Africans” or “Europeans”. What’s the big deal?
For the record, the OP twittered me a bit, too.
I’m sure it wouldn’t have if there’d been more explanation given in the first post, but at face value it looked the same as saying,
So my Big (Jewish) Boss blah, blah, blah…
And **Koxinga **says it twice, with emphasis.
Upon reading the rest of the thread, of course, my worries were defused, but I must admit that at first I got an uncomfortable lump in my throat and had flashbacks to high school 
OH! I almost forgot to contribute to the subject. I’m an editor/writer for a publishing company here in Korea, and sometimes I let dubious English slide by when I really shouldn’t. For example, this question was on my desk last month in one of the EFL workbooks:
Well at my last regular job, I used to dope for hours at a time. The hilarious thing is my coworkers (the adorably simple creatures they were) assumed that text heavy stuff on a computer screen must be work, since nobody reads for fun. :rolleyes:
I also spent the last 4 months on the job researching stuff for my soon to be business.
One guy used to keep everything in his work area perfectly straight and orderly…whenever I was in the area I would turn one stack like 15 degrees one way or the other. Minutes later you would hear bellowing about whos been messing wih his work area.
Our boss used to like to avoid following through on destroy orders for obsolete product because he wanted it to look like he made more money burning les dollar value in inventory. I used to regularly find things that I knew were just collecting dust on the shelves and dumpster them en masse and adjust it off as a transaction error.
We also used to get bins of small quantities of items, often last/single units therefore not worth listing. TPTB allowed us to take anything we wanted from them. I was the only one who ever seemed interested, because I was selling them on ebay.
My job during the school year lets me have all the soda I want. (Usually I just have water with a splash of lemonade, but whatever.) The soda machine is out in the actual food court; I’m back in the dish room. So it’s sort of a long walk. I always make sure to get my drink and then drink as much as possible before I even get back to the dish room, so I have to go get refills sooner than otherwise.
My summer job hands out bottled water like crazy- which is good, since we’re an outdoor entertainment series. I take home multiple bottles at least once every few weeks. Not that subversive, though- we’re allowed to drink as much water as we want.
Both jobs get more than their fair shares of texting and posts to LiveJournal via phone while I’m “using the bathroom” but it’s always because important things have happened.
When I was a waitress we were required to “marry the ketchups.” Meaning that you’d get 12 half-empty bottles of ketchup and make them into 6 full ones. Because full bottles are “more attractive to the customer” and give the illusion that it’s a brand-new bottle.
I hated doing it–it was sloppy, messy, painstaking work and frankly the thought of all that old ketchup at the bottom grossed me out. (Health departments in some counties have actually banned marrying ketchup because over time the bacterial growth will lead to exploding bottles of ketchup.)
So whenever I could manage it, I’d just throw away all the old ketchup bottles and replace them with brand-new ones. Take that, Corporate Machine!
Flatware frequently fell into the trash when we were scraping plates before they went into the dishwasher…managers were adamant that we retrieve all of the “fallen flatware.” Their bonuses came out of keeping costs down.
I never did. Gross.
I also threw away perfectly good food at the end of the night instead of putting it away in the cooler, because it was quicker.
And the brownies in the cooler? Yeah. I helped myself to several of those. Ditto for the breadsticks and the baked potatoes, heaping with toppings. And that was just food I could get myself, not counting the food I sweet-talked the cooks into making me.
Hey. Waitresses get paid $2.13 an hour. You gotta stick it to the man somewhere.
The most subversive thing I do at this fairly new job is spend literally, my entire shift (save 10 minutes) surfing the Dope and reading.
My last job had a lot of empty offices. They were great for relaxing in for a few minutes, taking power naps during 12 hour shifts, whatever. Building maintenance started locking them.
Glue in locks is probably bad for them, but funny.
Other than my constant berating of management, I usually try to look like a quite and happy drone. Best to corrupt from the inside, I always say…
I used to be the Producer of a well known financial website.
Every day on the homepage, I used to find a way to finagle a pirate word onto the homepage.
The skullduggery one was my favourite. 
Yeah. I thought long and hard about revealing to everyone here just what kind of lengths I’m capable of going to, but ultimately decided, cock it.
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Watched movies on the company’s projectors. I think we made it up to 28 movies in a 2 month period. We were shooting for 30.
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Created a virtual boss. It wasn’t hard she was so inept. It was basically a randomly picked answer from her stock answers —just prettied up with a GUI.
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Take long breaks to stroll around the town. The place was sorely mismanaged; nobody would miss you.
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Surf the internet ad nauseum. Believe me it gets boring.
5). . . I’m afraid if I reveal too much, ya’ll will say, "Ohhh, you must be talking about xxxxx. " I no longer work there and don’t want to be involved in any pending litigation.
We weren’t bad, inept employees just very poorly managed. Lest you think I’m rationalizing let me give you an example of the things our manager would do:
She oversaw a project to image the company’s documents but failed to include a way to access the images. Yes, you read that right. The company was in the process of scanning all of the documents—and the nature of this business produces prodigious amounts of paperwork, but there had been no thought of how the employees would access the documents. Nor was there a protocol for updating files, documents, or adding annotations.
She tried to borrow money from her secretary. She was making about 100K and wanted to borrow money from someone making about 20K —and I’m not talking lunch money either.
Ditzy boss advised one female employee who was having trouble with a male worker that whenever she had problems with someone she always told them “don’t get your panties in a wad”.
When the building was having a lot of false fire alarms, Ditzy sent out an email telling her underlings to disregard any fire alarms and wait for the front office to send an email verifying that there was a fire. The front office immediately countered with a response nullifying her suggestion and saying “under no circumstances were they condoning such actions”.
Ditzy was fond of “mystery meets” as we called them. With usually 30 minutes notice or so, she’d send out an email to her entire staff of 40 which stated “Meeting in the conference room at 8:00AM.”
I wish those were all, or even the most egregious examples. —I’ve said too much. Me work at xxxxx? nope, never been there, don’t know anything about the place.